I walked into the office pantry to wash my mug and stumbled into Jude. She was hanging out inside there chatting with her crony. Fearing for my own safety, no … I didn’t try to be courteous to say ‘hi’ or shits like that. I just minded my own business, be done with it and got the hell out of there as soon as possible.
Like what I did every morning, I was there to get some hot water to clean up my mug. You see, I usually leave my mug on my office desk overnight, and you wouldn’t know if a lizard might masturbate into it when I am not around. So, I always take the effort to clean that piece of porcelain mug up whenever I wanted to use it.
And what we have inside the pantry is a soapbox shaped hickey which is suppose to be a ‘digital hot water dispenser’. The thing has about half a dozen buttons on it and looks like it’s intelligent or something. Big fucking deal. To get some hot water, I’ll just need to press a red button labeled as “HOT”, place my mug underneath its spout and yank the main valve.
Out came the hot water into my mug… triggering a carnage of microscopic organisms and lizard sperms. I could see the hot water vapor surging out from my mug… and that was when I heard Jude uttering something to me
Jude : “You need to check if the water’s really hot.”
I didn’t know why she said that.
Me : “Well, the red button here says it’s HOT. I guess it wouldn’t actually lie to me…would it ?”
Jude : “There was once it dispensed warm water on my mug, not hot at all… That’s why you need to check if it’s hot”
Me : “I don’t know if it’s hot, perhaps these hot water vapor might just be an illusion created by that evil machine… So, would you kindly put your hand into it to test if it’s hot… for me ?”
Jude : “Hey ! I’m not that stupid, ok ?”
I think she finally sensed the sarcasm. Her crony was already laughing like a jackass, almost to the brink of puking out her breakfast.
Me : “Look. I pressed the HOT button and the machine dispensed a mug of water that has an assload of HOT WATER VAPOR. And you’re advising me to check if it’s hot… What is wrong with you ??”
Jude : “…”
I think I’ve just indirectly told her that she’s less intelligent than the “digital hot water dispenser”…
amen to all the idiots in the world. at least they give us stories to tell the rest of the smarter community.
Great move man.
the hot water dispenser sometimes does stopped functioning. I had couple of times the “hot” button actually dispense warm water. Either the boiler is mulfunction, or in sleep mode. You have to press the “reboil” button, red light goes on, wait for for the red light goes off, then you retry. If after reboil still dispense warm water, inform the facilities Manager – Ham-Kar Chan.
dude, look on the bright side. she juz wanna start a conversation with u, perhaps wanna initiate a bond of something….hehehe.
you should submit this to Dilbert – he can use it for the “True Story of the In-DUH-viduals quotes”…
God bless the hot water machine thingy
minishorts – Well, they make us smart people look really good sometimes.
din – As though I’m dancing.
KK – Dude, if you can read properly… *hint: hot water vapor…*
keatix – No doubt she wanted to start a conversation … it’s just that, I’m too antisocial to talk…
anand – I think you guys have the same type of hot water dispenser over on the other side … I think I saw it near the Townhall pantry or something …
sometimes people think that they are so freaking intelligent. but that was extremely good. could become handy one of these days. thanks michael!
wooo, nice move. ;)
I think that’s pretty ‘direct’ oledi….LOL