To those of you that has lack of exposure to the movie realms, let me disclaim this to you - no, the movie “xXx 2″ is not a porn flick. I repeat, this is not a porn flick. But I’d be happier if it’s a porn though - at least it will be more entertaining.

That’s right, this movie is a total waste of time.

The original xXx was starred by Vin Diesel, playing the role as an extreme sports daredevil that would do anything dangerous for his own thrill. He was then somehow recruited as a spy for the government or something, and went around mopping up asses to save the world. Wasn’t a great movie but, at least Vin Diesel looked kinda good as the one man army tough dude…

I kinda expected the same standard for the successor of Vin Diesel, probably someone who’s even more badass. Like Triple H or something….But no. Instead, we got Ice Cube, the babyfaced corpulent short guy with a catastrophic name. I almost gasped for air when the word “badass” being quoted to describe Ice Cube.

Lardass maybe. But definitely not badass. I mean, come on, I’m sure there could have been more suitable candidates out there than having this cute Fat Albert to bully some schoolkids…

Alright, casting problem aside, the storyline was pretty spastic and lame as well, with tonnes of “Xtreme ridiculousness” - quite contrary to the original concept of the movie, where the X’s phonetically meant “Xtreme” … you know, referring to those not so smart stunts that people do just to get attention and being cool - skateboarding off a cliff, jumping from a building roof, raping a farm animal, etc - which we all seemed to love so much (especially when they hit a boner).

The movie is full of those Xtreme ridiculousness. One of the biggest bullshit in the movie was when Ice Cube was chasing after a bullet train with the new Shelby Cobra, doing a 165 ? Forgot the number. He would later crash the car behind the bullet train, bursting his tyres away and glide smoothly on the track with its bare metal rims to catch up. What the fuck !?

1) Bullet trains doesn’t glide on normal rail tracks. They float on special magnetic tracks.
2) Let’s assume the bullet train DOES run on normal track, but how could the width of the track fits perfectly on a Cobra’s wheel span ??
3) Alright, even if it fits… the car and it’s driver would probably be electrocuted to crisp… as we all know bullet trains doesn’t run on diesel … or coals… but on high voltage power lines…
4) Ok ok, let’s even assume that the damn train runs on diesel… is it even credible for us to believe that a diesel train would be able to tear up 200 mph on normal railway track ??

What a joke. Just… stay out … of this crap.