April 30, 2005

aviation club membership

A friend who works in some flying business gave me something awesome yesterday. A fully sponsored membership for an exclusive club – The Aviation Sports Club of Penang (ASCP). Initially, I don’t know what the hell was this club all about… but later when I found out, I was bespattered with astonishment all over.

– free lifetime insurance coverage for my family. (that includes if I have a pet dog, he’ll be covered as well. Doesn’t include cats though)
– free access to the club’s exclusive gym and unisex sauna bath.
– 50% discount in all transactions inside the club (karaoke, pub, watersports activities)
– there’s a big fucking pool for you to waste at the club, totally free as well
– the club is also famous for it’s free monthly strippers’ party which was exclusive for its members only.
– and you can bring limited to 12 of your buddies into the club for all that benefits as well !
– so much more, and everything is free.

I was totally speechless when my friend told me that I’m now a member for this swanky club – courtesy of his gratitude for our long time friendship. Isn’t that sweeet ?

All I gotta do is exhibit this chip-embedded glow in the dark car sticker each time when I enter the club, and I will be instantly authorized entry as a member … Here’s the picture of the unique sticker I’ve adhered on my car windscreen…

Truth : Some bird had a diarrhea on my windscreen.

michaelooi  | satirical shit  | 

13 Comments to “aviation club membership”

  1. dh says:

    woohoo…cool sticker you got there…

  2. CH says:

    ah, big flipping deal. My club’s strippers are twice-monthly, and no pasties. All the other staff are also early 20’s, female, single, and just emerged from a Terengganu army-cum-beauty-school boot camp where they have not seen men for the last 3 years. They were also cloned from existing supermodels.

    To get in, an appointed secret agent on a scooter surreptiously locates your car in midtown traffic, and puts the club’s secret mark on one of your side mirrors. Very quick. Amazing secrecy and precise stuff.

    Do you want to switch clubs?

  3. surfnux says:

    woohoo… from the sticker produced, it is believed that it is aimed a sharp angle and full speed. :p

  4. suanie says:

    best! i get really ugly green kaler ones sometimes

  5. Joez says:

    Never mind la, my grandma told me “Sai si chai lai” (shit = luck) ;)
    Maybe it was a hint for you to buy 4D.

  6. michaelooi says:

    CH – I think you’re just jealous… No way I’m gonna switch it with yours…

    surfnux – Yeah… with greenish microscopic sized turds making it harder to replicate.

    suanie – Penang birds have different diets perhaps.

    joez – Yeah, like I’m so going to believe that.

  7. EF says:

    that’s a teaser.

  8. kimberlycun says:

    hahaha good 2 be positive aye

  9. Reta says:

    at least you didn’t get it on your head.. =P then again must say..for good luck, for good luck =)

  10. summer says:

    Michael, am I too late to get you to go and buy some 4D? Good luck anyways!!

  11. fish fish says:

    *LOL* the avian just love your car~ Glad to see you comment column active again. ^_^

  12. Gary Thomas says:

    Heavenly’s Blog,

    I am perhaps the original inventor of new ( piloted ) Electric Motor & Engine Powered Aircraft. Please don’t call it a flippin’ HYBRID, even though it is. Why? Because I HATE hybrid corn porn jokes and assorted other ” teaser ” comments … ESPecially since my unfortunate visit to San Francisco in September of 1997. ‘Nuff said!

    So, the pilot just announced that the engine or fuel pump just failed onboard your commuter flight. What do you DO? Usually, you either pray ( if you are of religious persuasion ), or you merely say ” OH SH**! ” and put your head between your legs & kiss your ass goodbye. If you wind up lucky, the pilot crash lands it, often in hazardous terrain, way outside of town, and you suffer serious injuries until help arrives … hours, or even days or weeks later.
    If you ain’t so “blessed” with a skilled ( and very lucky ) pilot, YOU DIE.

    My alternative is very logical. I am proposing that a fossil fueled aircraft ALSO have a electric propulsion motor, possibly on a retraction mechanism. Lithium ion batteries are indeed lightweight enough to power ANY aircraft from 17.5 to 210 horsepower per electric motor, for 90+ minutes, if descending-for-landing, or 60+ minutes, if you maintain-elevation.

    Electric motors, so long as you can maintain a steady supply of electrical juice for them, are ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE MORE RELIABLE than the best internal combustion engine ever will be. It will, except for maybe one case in 10 BILLION, always be there for you, especially during a sudden in-flight emergency.

    I’m Gary R. Thomas, a former C141 and C5 jet cargo plane crew chief ( mechanic ). I know instinctively what’s flightworthy & what isn’t. I’m a very good inventor.

    What I just described is a ” no – brainer “. Anybody with funding, management help, a good Airframe & Powerplant mechanic and a Weight & Balance technician can install the commercially – available parts I’ll specify.

    Imagine happy landings after internal combustion engine failures.

    Imagine solar, wind or Made in Hanoi, Vietnam micro – hydro mountain stream electric generators from Asian Phoenix Resources, Ltd, a Victoria BC Canada business: http://www.powerpal.com

    Imagine low-level flights below radar, with no visible infra-red heat, and next to no or absolutely no audible sound ( in electric motor or glide modes of operation ).

    Again, this is a CIVILIAN aircraft for CIVILIANS. When it reaches the stage of factory – production, all manner of FREEDOM will be enabled.

    One final comment: The initials C.A.P. can either stand for “Civil Air Patrol” or “Combat Air Patrol”. The choice is entirely YOURS!

    I know – I know, the Civil Air Patrol is sorta-kinda in cahoots with the U.S. Air Force. So?

    I can be reached at 1 (808) 298-3392 on Maui Island, Hawai’i. Call me anytime.

  13. michaelooi says:

    Gary ! You motherfucking cheebye ! (sounds oh too familiar ?) You should be spending more time with your family, not be fucking reading blogs, you tool !

The commenting function has been closed.