April 19, 2005

revenge of the pigeon

My apartment block has always been a sanctuary place for a flock of pigeons. I do not know why, they seem to have that uncanny attraction towards our building block. At night, they’re usually found hanging out at the edge of our building roof, you know, having parties and sex… shedding a whole deal lot of feathers and the most annoying of all, embellishing our awnings with their diarrhea of droppings.

My mom wasn’t too comfortable with the fact that she’ll have to see our own apartment being made a pigeon toilet (also heard that pigeon droppings are highly toxic). So, a couple months ago, she carefully laid a netting trap across one of the hottest spot above our window ledge, in hope of teaching those pestilent head bobbers a lesson or two.

Well, she finally caught one alright. It was a pigeon with a dark grey feather, stuck upside down with its feet entangled on the net. She then took the bird down and began her work on it. With a scissor, my mom trimmed a large part of the helpless pigeon’s wings and flicked its head repeatedly while chanting some profanities. She had heaps of fun alright …and finally, released that poor thing back into its social life. But my mom did take note about that look in the pigeon’s eyes, it was of a vindictive look … but she didn’t give much damn about it.

Until a few days ago, when I was busy surfing something important in the living room (my mom wasn’t around), I suddenly saw it walking up towards our apartment unit’s entrance. That same dark grey pigeon. It peeked into our unit to check if there’s anyone around … and saw me. That was when I reacted by stretching out my clawed arms trying to scare that audacious pigeon away. But it just walked back a few steps, apparently not affected by my display of potential hostility. I tried harder, but that little guy just stood there watching me doing those foolish acts.

I felt the whole thing was kinda bizarre, so, I asked Emily to check that pigeon out as well. Now seeing 2 humans waving madly at it, the pigeon took a couple steps further back just to be safe … but nothing else affected it after that distance. I eventually grew bored intimidating that small creature and went back to my surfing.

But again, that pigeon boldly walked up to our entrance and stared at me – and this time, I was beginning to get astonished by its relentless behavior. I’ve never seen anything like this before (well, obviously, I’ve seen a fucking pigeon, or a pigeon fucking … but I have never seen a pigeon so bold before). I tried to remain static this time, just to find out what the pigeon was up to. Was it looking for food ? Or was it just trying to “peace” up with me. But I was about to find out soon.

It stared at me for about 10 seconds, and then turned around pointing its ass directly facing my apartment entrance … and jettisoned out a piece of greenish turd on our shoe rug ! Just as it was trying to purge more of its shit out, I quickly stormed out from my unit to grab that bird (now ain’t that vulgar ?) … instigating it to flap its wing madly to bail out … and escaped out into the open space. I just stood there dumbfucked at what I had just witnessed. A pigeon taking revenge against human.

I felt very lucky that it was just 1 pigeon. I can’t imagine if that guy were to invite its whole bevy of birdhood to poo on my rug. Or worse, on my Lorraine which had just been washed that day. Animals nowadays are simply scary. They learnt too much from horror movies.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

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