I was working on something important when my lab phone wailed. As I was the nearest to that damn noisy thing (25 feet away), I went ahead to answer it… was greeted by a ‘somewhat sweet’ female voice. She asked for our lab technician, named Doof.

I then put the lady on hold and yelled for Doof’s name.

Me : “Doof ! Phone call for you !” [proceed to walk back to my table]

Doof : [snit look on his face] “Who’s that?”

Me : “Some girl with a sweet voice… your girlfriend perhaps…”

Doof : [glows like a light bulb] “Ooooooo… thanks”

Doof dashed excitedly to the phone… while I continued to do what I was doing earlier, and at the same time, also wondered how could a sleaze like Doof managed to get himself such a neat girlfriend. It was kinda like a stray thought.

Doof talked for about a whole minute and hung up. He then walked up to me and gave me that disgusted stare…

I looked back at him.

Me : “What? What are you looking at?”

Doof : “Sweet voice you say?? My girlfriend?? You bastard !”

Me : “What the fuck ??”

Doof : “That’s PANDA you dolt!! My girlfriend ain’t no Panda!! You trying to insult me or what??”

I’ve never seen him so aggravated before. Apparently, I was also irked by my sudden drop in esteem to refer that bearlike mammal as ‘sweet’. I duly responded to Doof’s confrontation with a mere yelp… and repeatedly smacked my head with my own palm.

Damn it dudes… next time you hear a ‘sweet’ voice on the phone, don’t be too quick to judge it yet. You might be speaking to a disastrous looking person. Like Panda. Ugghhh.