invasion of the invertebrates
Saw today’s news about those heaps of sea cucumbers being washed up to our Malaysian shores ? According to our local scientists, it’s an extraordinary phenomenon (do we really need a scientist to tell us that ?). And during my drive home from work today, I overheard a latest news update from the radio that those marine slugs were being washed up ashore due to some miniscule tsunami happenings around our region.
Yeah right, like you can blame everything on tsunami. My unpaid taxes. My missing CD’s. My slumping shares. The birds at my workplace carpark that seems to have a neverending bowel movement zeal … They’re all caused by the fucking tsunami. Right, right.
I tell you, it’s all a cover up. It has nothing to do with the tsunami. The whole thing’s actually a federal boner. Remember yesterday’s piece of news that the DPM (Deputy Powderful Man) whined about those missing foreign workers that’s supposed to arrive to work here ? Yes, 169000 of them… and not a single soul turn up. What happened ? They overslept and missed their plane ? What… all of them ? And after that press conference yesterday … we suddenly have a few hundred thousands of slugs showing up a day later (which is today…). Coincidence ? I don’t think so.
You know, I suspected someone from the top (god knows who) had made a wrong order from the labour catalog (no surprise, they always make stupid mistakes). Like he’s supposed to tick “construction workers” on the order form, but he actually ticked the wrong box as “government workers” ? And WHAM! Order delivered. Our foreign “workers” are now crawling up to get to work.
These slugs workers are good at :
- eating non stop and sleep.
- idling at work
- staring blankly at monitor for hours
- extremely slow productivity
- stodgy demeanor
- extremely low intelligence
Perfect candidates as government workers. Or shall I say, even better (coz they don’t have a face to frown…)
But now, we have a problem. We need construction workers, not government workers. We need those Indons that can climb I-beams without safety gears and someone for our cops to shoot at. These slugs are just too slow to do all that and we need to build more world’s tallest/largest/widest/longest/motherfuckest architectures in the world ! What should we do ?
I reckoned that there’s only one solution. We relinquish the current government workers off their job and make them hard labours. It’s much easier to train those bunch of vegetation with limbs than that bunch of marine slugs (marine slugs are better as government workers, remember ?). This is to control the loss at it’s minimum level (our Board of Directors often refer this act as “control handsome”)
1) replacing government workers with slugs - minimum impact, as both species are sharing almost the same characteristics.
2) current government workers - they have hands and legs which they rarely use … are at least better than those slugs who aren’t really suitable for construction labour.
So, don’t be surprised if you happen to see slugs start showing up at your nearest income tax office … they’re our new government workers’ replacement.
sea cucumbers good in dark soya sauce
Someone is frustrated… just renewed your passport?
You are just pissed you had to pay high income tax (because you are earning so much MOREEEEEEEEE than others)
and you want others to know exactly that. Understood
WoW, I didn’t know you have hirsutism too!!!
BTW, a slug is always a slug.
Have you squeeze one before?! It’ll pee. ;p
what i heard was..remember about the theory that animals actually can sense the disaster (like tsunami) before it happened? this is what expert think lead to this phenomenon
i couldn’t agree more on u about those gov workers…they r damn pampered n slow productivity
dunno how many time they need to hv a break just to do such a simple typing, organizing job!!
Go slugs, go!
i hate it when they ask me to fill-in a form and later take the form from me, chop it, stapler it, sign it and leave it there.
then they frigging forget to key it into their system. two months later, i called them up and they act as if it is my fault and i have to go to the office and queue up again and fill-in the same bloody form.
THose that arrived at the seashore, don’t think they are edible.
What a good way of putting it. Just like Slug, being full of water inside…Government workers has grass stored in their brain. At least if you squeeze a slug, all it managed to do is squealing and spilling some water…
Government workers? They only knows how to screw up the public even if we don’t freaking screw them. Conclusion: Build a huge slug catapult(since we have plenty of resources for that) and send those government arses home by flooding the offices with slugs.
http://www.tm.net.my/html/news_details.cfm?id=346&type=News&pg=1
my site’s kinda affected as well, as it is hosted in the States… so, be patient while it loaaaaaaadddds. Slowwwwwwwwwly.
fuck tmnet.
i rather the seacucumbers. at least they’re actually good for something.
cariss : it pee 1 ah? i thought i saw on MTV whatever things b4.. if u squeeze it (those fellas were stroking it up n down i think) it will squirt out some sticky white starchy liquid..
