extreme fear factor
Fear Factor. The greatest reality TV show on Earth. You get to see :
hot chicks. with big racks. in swimsuits. embossed nipples when wet. and them eating bugs. livestock testicles sometimes. All in one show. It’s a show that emphasizes on the greed of us humans, how far are we willing to trade our fear for money…
I mean, what could be more awesome than that ?
Well, actually yes. During our tea break a few days ago, we (board of engineers) sort of came up with some ideas that could make Fear Factor an even better show than it already was…
It started out when one of our managers voiced his opinion about how Fear Factor is fast becoming more boring … so ‘predictable’… so common. We’ve seen the contenders hoovered basically everything … and that’s about the worst it could ever get. It’s becoming easier to win the 50 grands … and the show’s gradually losing it’s thrill. That’s when everyone of us gave our input… and put our engineering minds into good use - what could be done to facelift the entire show and sow new fear elements into it ?
Well, here’s what I managed to summarize from our discussions …
Physical stunts
No more jumping from buildings. No more hanging upside down from those flying eggbeaters. Those tricks won’t work anymore. Instead, the organizers should extend the physical stunts into the darker area. Make it extreme. Make it REALLY SCARY AND FEARSOME. One that would haunt them for the rest of their lives … win the money or not.
Contenders would be asked to perform bench press exercise (or push ups some may call it…), as much as they can - without revealing to them what would be the consequences.
Obtain the # of times performed by each contender, and divide their respective # by groups of 4. Record the number of the last remaining group (which will range from 1 to 4). That magic number, would be the number of choices that the contender has to choose (out of 4 selections) to be performed with a stunt … to have sex (males:screw, females:getting screwed). That’s right, have sex with strangers. Not just any strangers but… some “strangers” wild beyond your imagination.
Remember the 4 selections ? Those would be the selection of strangers the contenders have to choose.
1) a 40 years old stinking beggar
2) an 80 years old geriatric with herpes
3) a young decomposed corpse (necrophilia)
4) a sedated African Nile river crocodile (bestiality)
For example, John bench pressed 39 times. The number of last remaining group of 4’s will equal to 3. That means, John have to select 3 candidates from the above selections to ‘get that much closer to the prize money’… (which shall be raised to a mind-boggling 20 million bucks).
Eating-gross-stuffs stunts
No more eating bugs, slugs or maggots. We need to facelift the show … and those conventional creepy crawlies idea has to be ditched to make way for something more challenging. Those that people wouldn’t think of putting it through their own digestive system
Contenders will be asked to chow down half a pie of cheesecake. Once finished, they’re then required to down neat shots of whiskies until the Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) level reaches to the level where one’s no longer be able to drive. (purpose is to trigger the puke nerve…)
Alright, once the puke nerve is activated, the contenders are required to eat either of the following :
1) the puke of a another drunk (1 liter)
2) decomposed carcass of a skunk (1 full grown dead skunk) *detoxification drug/treatment will be provided
3) the perspiration fluid from the armpits of a thousand Banglas.(1 liter)
4) camel’s saliva (3 liters)
Contenders are not allowed to puke at any time during the game to ‘move that much closer to the final stunt and prize money’. (20 millions aren’t that easy to get…)
Time bound stunts
No more collecting flags from some rickety platforms. No more who’s the fastest crashing a shitty car. This is Fear Factor goddamn it, not some high school sportsday event. This stunt shouldn’t be fun at all. It should be the hardest, time bound, and traumatizingly the motherfuckest of all fearful stunts.
Prepare a narrow but long rectangular room (suggestion : 5ft x 50ft) with an exit at each end. Fill in the room with approximately 10 sex deprived naked gay niggers. Contenders are then asked to strip naked and go through one end of the room entrance, and exit from the other. (for female contenders, substitute with straight niggers, but niggers will be asked to target the bunghole).
Whoever does the fastest, will be the winner.
Fear Factor will never be the same again… wueeekkk !
Ewwwww! Yerr…. Will someone even participate? then this show will be categorized in 18SX +++ and will be banned liao la.
Come on mike.. this is ridiculuos post… U ran out of ideas?
Yaks..!!
OMG laa… did I mention you are evil?? Pure evil…
fabian - this is fear factor, not a soap opera.
corn - i blog anything i want here… “ridiculuos” or not…
MrsT - not yaks. it’s fear factor. wooo
suen - only 62% lar wei…
haha u sick dude hehe
“3) the perspiration fluid from the armpits of a thousand Banglas.(1 liter)”??!!!
Wah Michael… you really sadistic-leh… I read only, oreidi like wan to uweeeeeeeeeeeeek… **trauma… trauma…**
You should rename the AXN’s Fear Factor show to:
*** The Michael Ooi’s Kinky Fear F*cktor show ***
LMAO~ ;PpPPPpP
xman - i feel just fine…
cmos - now, that’s how the effect should be .. FEARRRRR…
cariss - that’s not kinky… ok ?
Peculiar then.
Michael, I would say Ewwwwwwwww to you
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Put your mind into more engineering stuffs, how about how to change a lightbulb?
Or a SOP on how to buy from the grocery store. I know its a bit boring. Maybe how to group clothes to be washed in the washing machine
Well, to me, this is hilarious and real fear. This is the real test for human nature man…hey actually u should add “excrement of their in-laws and urine of their bosses” in the eating-gross-stuff stunts.. Micheal, why are you in engineering again?
Michael, I have to agree with Suen, you are really evil!!! And those suggestions are really sick…. You wouldn’t dare to do them, would you?
cariss - that’s not even peculiar… ok ?
ee fei - you need an SOP to do those ? what’s your problem dude ? seek help !
bodicea - I am in engineering because I love to torture myself with heaps of workload. I seriously beginning to wonder if I’m a sadist… I should’ve opted to study CS and become a geek instead …
summer - some of the Fear Factor contestants once dared Joe Rogan in one of the episodes … where Joe actually surprised them all by wolfing down a roach and said something nasty … like he wouldn’t be a Fear Factor host without reasons. (figure out my point here)
no, you’re an admirable masochist. i hear geeks are silently disturbing
silently disturbed**
Umm… First of all, Fear Factor sucks. BIG TIME. Second of all, the host (I don’t give a damn of his name but) he’s a no good son of a bitch. He watches all those babe’s boobs. Check his eyes more often when he’s introducing the girls.
By the way, about the stunt ideas you guys figured out. It’s gay. No offence but it’s really gay.
I got a stunt of my own. How about this, you get a chopstick or a pencil (maybe a pen). Stick it in your ass, then try to break it with your rectum and you hands.
Quote:
“I mean, what could be more awesome than that ?
Well, actually yes. During our tea break a few days ago, we (board of engineers) sort of came up with some ideas that could make Fear Factor an even better show than it already was… ”
Awesome? Better show? The show will never be interesting.
bodicea - but you’re not silent…
ken/anyone - boo hoo dude. guess who’s the gay…
1) ALL GUYS ogles at boobs. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
2) you suggested SHOVING SOMETHING UP THE ASS. I suggested natural sex.
3) your name is Ken. Ken — Barbie. He fucks plastic doll. Real men don’t fuck plastic dolls.
No offense dude… but I think you just told the whole world that you’re gay. Tee hee. ..
Oh my fcuking gawd, mike, you’re now attracting ghey trolls?
Geez, Ken… I’d be glad to scour up 50 grand just to see you do a fire hydrant (chopstick or pencil too easy for you lar…) up your own ass without any lubricants and then try to break the hydrant with your failed rectum and then use your hands to squash your own testicles. How’s that for 50 grand?
Yeah ken, you’re a stupid chinese alright, I’d concur.
likewise, mike
Hahaha! The real Fear Factor should be reading this post over and over again 20 times without puking.
Ken, if the show will never be interesting, why the hell people are starving to watch it at the first place and it has been broadcasted in many television channels.
Its called “Fear Factor” and any stunts or challenge that has become fear of some people is an awesome and could make the show more interesting show.
Just my two cents. :p
i don’t always get to watch the show cause i’m usually not home yet. occasionally, i do chanced upon the show when i got lucky. and yes, the girls really have big boobs and they even have to do some water stunts so that they can wear some bikini. yeah!
but that is not the selling point for me though. i like the part where they have to eat shit. out of the half a dozen times i watched it, the one jeering the others always looses, and that stupid chinese reminded me of those losers.
Hentai!! Gosh~ I felt like my dinner 4 hr ago going to puke after this post. *feel sick* Is this your own idea or from the board of engineers?
shanks - a good one … heheh
fish fish - 60% of them is my idea lah…
“Ken, if the show will never be interesting, why the hell people are starving to watch it at the first place and it has been broadcasted in many television channels.”
For gays and stupid people like you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_sex
read this before you continue misunderstanding that putting something in your ass is consider gay.
for michael.
heterosexual is not homosexual. And I’m sure that I’m hetero. But you might shoot me back “Fear Factor got babes to watch and you don’t like it?”. Do I give a damn about the whole babe thing? I rather watch porno dude.
Ken’s wasn’t my nick by the way. He’s my dumbass friend. He’s just like any other dumbass that michael chat to in ICQ.
By the way michael, ken told me that you pro at “sian” girl. All those dumbass thing you scold about stupid chatting, he actually thought that you were flirting with all those girl. I used his nick to be a part of Chinese Stupidity here.
wah ghey troll knows how to comment spam!
ken/anyone - well, that’s very bright of you to use your dumbass friend’s nick as your own pseudonym. and please do not bother to explain your sexuality here … it matters not to most of us
Quote:
“3) your name is Ken. Ken — Barbie. He fucks plastic doll. Real men don’t fuck plastic dolls.”
Awesome, your right. In fact, my friend (Ken), is gay.
Whats wrong with this Ken bugger? Errmm looks like replica of jeffri. haha.. but with better english.
WOW,
This was a well written satire. Intelligent and shockingly close to a reality where we are quickly heading . We seem to be traveling faster and faster toward somthing that noone seems to know. I’m afraid it’s our own destruction.
i want to join the fear of factor , so what can i do 4 join this show.
obiously michaelooi is a little loser who thinks he can win some appeal by throwing in some absurd ideas about Fear Factor. Firstly the poorly thought bench press idea would be unfair. Just because someone pumps more iron means they do less? And this one I found especially amusing; “to have sex (males:screw, females:getting screwed).” That would be considered porn you idiot. Why even bother with the FEAR part. The drinking idea is useless as well since there are actual health risks with that activity. That last part, you could have used blacks instead of niggers you red neck. Get your inbred ass out of the trailor and start paying attention to the people who view this.
to the unknown guy :
You know, if I’m supposed to be pissed off with that retardedly-written piece of comment of your’s, trust me… you did a real lousy job at it.
I could have discarded off your comment with a click of a button, but no… because your comment is so shallow and spastic itself… I decided to publish it for a good laugh.
Try harder, schmuck. You know you’re stupid and we all now know it… whoever you are.
PS: your definition of porn is definitely interesting. Your parents must be proud of you.
Michael, you’re acting like a child, and I think you need a time out to consider what you’ve said.
First off, though, I do enjoy watching Fear Factor, especially the ample-breasted contestants. And you’re right about the digestion stunts being old and repetitive. But your examples for the physical and time bound stunts are poorly chosen. While I thought the bench press idea was actually pretty good, the actual task of penetrating or being penetrated as a result is ridiculous. The consequences and risks of sex with a strange person are already too easily brushed away by TV producers. If it was a joke, you’re just showing yourself to have a playfully sick side when you present yourself as a facelss blogger. I decided you were just trying to be funny, with mild success, and all of the other semi-serious stuff was just a lead-in to the punchline. Then, however, you pulled out your “Ten sex deprived naked gay niggers” line, and I saw that your sense of humor is based on your sense of superiority over another people. How is that funny? It comes across to me as both vain and ignorant. You play up the time-honored stereotypes by implying that black people are only interested in sex; calling them niggers is just the badge to show that you’re a hardcore supremacist trying to incite people. It’s obvious through this post that you do not know any black people, and are just parroting what you’ve heard from countless other racists. Why is it important for the world to hear another small-minded fool use the word “nigger” and smear an entire race? It’s not true, but what’s more important, it’s not original. Bring something into the world it hasn’t hear millions of times.
The fact that most of your stunts involve sex in some fashion goes far to show more about your obsession with sex than anyone else’s. Perhaps you call people names and bash their arguments without any examples or proof because you’re aware of your sexual “abnormalities” and feel ashamed of them–so you strike out at others. Micheal, I’m telling you now, it’s OK to be a little crazy about sex. Please, next time have an argument instead of just coming out swinging with a sledgehammer. Trust me, your faceless blogging will look better–you owe it to yourself.