That was many years ago, on a night full of stars, I was watching the television with my then girlfriend Emily. Our love was young, and watching TV while rubbing each other’s shoulders felt better than a traditional Thai massage…
I’ve forgotten what we watched on TV, but not that it matters. The only thing that mattered was her company… enjoyed every nanoseconds of it. The air was so full of love and smelled lofty. We would exchange stories, stares and whispered words of love like poets. It was euphoric.
It lasted almost the whole night, until my love became too tired and rested voluptuously on my lap. The sound of the TV then slowly faded (because I fucking pressed the remote you moron) and the next thing I knew, was that the night suddenly receded into a halcyon ambiance… the only thing audible was the droning sound of the cicadas (save for a few occasional cacklings from the lizards frigging each other on the ceiling).
I was watching her weaving dreams, as she advents deeper into her dormant state … her delicate mouth wide agape, inundated with her saliva nectar of ptyalin. I couldn’t help but to feel grateful at that particular moment, that I get to experience such a tranquil moment with my love… unlike those stray dogs sleeping by the roadside alone (albeit they kinda have the thrills of unlimited sex activities with basically any other fellow dogs…)
I continued to drift further in my drunkenly love state, when suddenly, I heard something disturbingly disturbing. It’s POOOOOT. A perfect POOOOT with all the correct tones and curves. I was dumbfucked. It felt romantic no more… and I was preparing for the worst by holding my breath (because I couldn’t fucking bail… she was still sleeping on my lap. I was stuck). But there wasn’t any nasty smell … and I took a few test whiffs before allowing myself to breathe properly again.
Due to the worn off feel of romanticism, my legs suddenly felt numb (her head restricting my blood flow) and decided to shift a little. My movements somehow triggered something inside her that I couldn’t possibly explain… and she let off another rip of fart. POOOOT. Again, it was with the most perfect tone I’ve ever heard. This time, I couldn’t contain myself, but laughed out loud like a jackass – waking her up.
As confused as a cuttlefish, she duly asked me “What happened ?”. I replied her “My dear, you’ve just ripped the most perfect fart I’ve ever heard in my life …” And we laughed it off together.
*this post was inspired by the previous entry about farts.
someone’s too obsessed with farts … *ppooot* .. silent ones are the killers .. loud farts can be romantic what .. hor *wink wink*
Sweet moment.. hoho some fart are not smelly and smelly, wonder why..
LOL
perfect fart?!
to think someone’ll blog about this hahahahhaha
Now that’s a sign of unconditional acceptance. Hahaha.
Hmmm…that’s the mystery,beauty & power of LOVE!
Anything bad/smelly will turned out to be nice & sweet.
Conclusion:Love is not only blind but also partially deaf & partially anosmiac.Kih kih…;)
Then g/f..?? so she is now yer wife..???
fuchsialowe – yeah, we should organize some international rip a fart day …
surfnux – some fart on cushion, which may have filtered all those harmful pathogens. Some unfiltered, and goes directly to your nostril. Generally, all farts stink.
water_junk – why not dude ? as long as it’s legal, it’s bloggable.
iblogme – yes. it’s not voluntary alright.
tEo – love is short sighted, not blind. heheh…
MrsT – yes lor … I’m already taken.
Gee… It may have been romantic and all, you and her laughing about her farts, but I sure hope she doesn’t read your blog… ;)
when you fall in love you have to love all the farts too hahahahhaha.
Yuen Li – she may be very well have already read it. It’s ok … we take jokes steadily… in fact, I still teases her about this fart incident from time to time …
minishorts – yeah, it’s all in the package (zits, boogers, phlegm, dandruffs, etc).
Let me get this straight, that libririan farted and you were disgusted; your girlfriend farted and you said it was perfect? Love rules the fart. Love > fart.
ken – awwwww… cleeeeeeeever.
Kekeke… romantic night with PUUUTTTTT~ :P
Once I saw in TV, a Japanese lady was telling the programme, she has never fart before in front of her husband… for 20 years of marriage. She just didn’t has the gut. Hmmm…
Well go Emily… Puuuuuttttt some more next time if Drunken Mickey appear again~ Muahahahah!!
See… The effect of eating too much Pringles.
hahaha, sleep also can pooot meh? mike so lomantik one ;)
Emily did a good job. She saved the best for you, Mike…
perhaps emily was testing you….
if u make a fuss…then she dump u…
hehhehehhehehe
fish fish – you think that japanese lady would admit that she farts in front of her husband in front of like … a few million viewers on national tv ? I don’t think so. She friggin’ lied.
alphonso – what has that got to do with Pringles ? that incident occurred many years ago lah … and we didn’t eat Pringles that day…
buaya – yes, can. You didn’t know it coz you’re sleeping. Ask your spouse.
tiuniasing – the best ? it’s odourless ler …
zbjernak – frankly speaking, I gave her more “tests” than she gave me … and my farts are more lethal. It can gas a fully grown yak into stupor … and if not controlled properly, might even kill it.
oh mike… this post is so cute…
I can’t fucking believe you made a night of farts become such a cheesy mushy mushy one.
Mike, I have been reading your blog for some time, nice blog!!
summer – farts can be cute sometimes…
silencers – yeah right, like you can do something about that … duh
tiuniasing – i visited your’s too… 3 words. It has characters…. keep it up bebeh.
update : went for an impromptu karaoke last night, those guys ordered whiskies again…. mannnnnnn, i tell you …. it never tasted so baddddddd before … but still, i gulped a few glasses of it. Miraculously, my chronic upset stomach from the Great Hangover seems to have receded… strange…
haha… :D when in love, everything smells good :D
When in love, everything smells good?
lol, nah…look at what mike has described…he can’t friggin bail because he was stucked there that night. See, prevention is better than cure. But if you have no other choices of preventing it…of course you ‘dun’ mind taking it all in – your lover’s fart.
Mike, the next time when I got mad with atm, I can canon him a few times and pretend to be asleep. Great idea, no?
lilian,
it doesn’t help, your canon will smell good to atm.
bongkersz – couldn’t agree more.
jr. – duuuude, you’re not supposed to reveal that…. shhhhhhhh
lilian – why not ? not only your ATM … but your kids are gonna enjoy it also. make sure you eat a lot of broccolis, spring onions and petais before you do that. kih kih kih.
tiuniasing – there’s a limit to everything. kih kih kih ….
there’s a saying in malay..when ure in love,taik gigi pon rasa cokelat.ok i made that up.but nice post mike!i like..