the three pointed star and the bowtie
*a few hours ago
It was already 7.10pm and I was in a hurry to fetch Emily from work. As I made past the traffic light and a turn out into the main road from my workplace, I suddenly stumbled into a very nice car.
It’s a sleek black convertible Mercedes. An SLK 200. It’s roof was folded, so, I can see the driver quite clearly - youngster with dyed hair wearing a pair of shitty Armani sunglasses … pumping some very loud chintzy Europops off his set. [DOOOK DOOOOK DOOOK DOOOK]
Well, at the first glance, it looked kinda gallant and all that … I was admiring that car myself when suddenly, I noticed that there’s another black SLK that quickly came beside it … then another … and another. The next thing I realize, is that I was being surrounded by about 10 - 20 of these SLK 200’s … all black… and all with it’s roof folded. Just like that situation in Matrix where Neo was being swarmed with an army of agent Smith. It was a sight to behold.
I’m not too sure what those rich kids are up to … maybe they’re doing somekind of a promotional tour or something … or perhaps a campaign to whiff carbon monoxide off the open traffic air to promote lung cancer … I don’t know. But I’m sure of one thing, those convoy of SLK owners were actually trying their very best to brandish their wealth around. It actually got me jealous.
I was quite alright about them at first, you know, thinking that it takes a lot of luck to have the chance of owning such a magnificent piece of racing machine … surely… to parade around the streets with heaps of their similarly sicko spoilt rich kid friends isn’t really a ‘too much’ thing to do.
But then, my opinion gradually changed when I saw their blinking hazard signals (from my rear view mirror) … and their incongruous beam of highlights. Some of them even tailed closely behind other vehicles to pressure them off their path. They’re like mobbing the whole road up telling everyone to get out of their path. It vexes me a whole deal lot. How I wished that I’d be driving a steamroller right at that moment … I wouldn’t mind bonding them and their cars onto the tar road. (I mean, come on, do they really have to act condescend like that ? Can’t they just fucking drive like everyone else ?)
Alright, then I have this super awesome thought. Remember my pair of air horns ? I was thinking if they would like to hear some of it’s melodramatic blare … and see if they would still enjoy the open air as much as they did before. So, I waited for the opportunity for them to hit a boner.
We eventually came to a stop at another set of red lights. I have SLK’s all around me … no other cars. I tried to rev my engine up to emit more exhaust smoke to rejuvenate those imbeciles’ lungs, but since mine’s a new car pre-fitted with a catalytic converter, there’s not much pollution produced. That’s when I wished again, how nice would it be if I were to be driving a factory bus at that particular moment. Black smoke relieves stress and brings plenty of luck in the chicken year.
I was waiting patiently at the red … like a tiger prowling for it’s prey antelope grazing nearby … waiting for it to make a simple mistake and then SNAPPP ! the big cat got a bite at the antelope’s tits. Alright, imaginations aside, I was kinda worried as well - what if those guys were too perfect to commit a mistake ? It would be such a waste of chance …
Not too long after that, the light turns green, and the cars started to move. I moved my stick to “drive” mode, but the SLK in front of mine didn’t move. I saw a blimp chick inside that car … and apparently, she was doing something important (scratching her pubes ?) that she did not realize that it’s time to move. My eyes lighted up like a bulb upon seeing the opportunity … and without wasting more time, I yanked my horn hard.
Almost immediately, I can see her react. She frantically shifted her gear and began to move quickly … but not quick enough …as my Lorraine pulled at par very near by her side to give her a cold stare … accompanied with couple of therapeutic eardrum stretch honks … to remind her who’s the real boss… and overtook her stricken state like a sharp biting wind of death.
I then came to another red stop to make a right turn (yeah, that road has an unbelievable amount of traffic lights in the same friggin kilometer)… while the convoy forked out to the opposite left. From my rear view, I could see the blimp catching up with speed and finally got to where I can see her … she was glowering at me as if I’ve killed her gay lover… Yeah right, like glowering could actually make my head explode or something.
Victory never tasted so sweet.
i feel damn “song” after reading what you did to that clueless-like rich bitch. yeah!
*punch a victory fist into the air
Woohoo, good for you Mike! Walau-eh, a bunch of gigolos on roadshow or something?
hmmm..those spoilt rich guys got nothing better to do mah.
luckily,ur air horns got its supporting role when that chick scratched her pubes.Haha…..
btw,ROTFLOL at ur “a campaign to whiff carbon monoxide off the open traffic air to promote lung cancer …”.
Promoting lung cancer?LOL.Only u could think of that.Bravo.
LOL, it’s like so ‘TULAN’. Hate buggers like that. You have you fair share of fun there. However bear in mind there’s a lot of road bullies out there. So watch out ya.
It just happened last winter whereby this dude got killed by a road bully over here in UK. Kill by just a punch to the neck by the fist of an enrage man.
Reason of the incident was because of some minor misunderstanding between both parties on the road.
Sweet!!!
Felt real good just like shanks after this post. Something like this happened to me once too but there was nothing i could do couze it was a pack of Satria GTIs.
hey, I saw a convoy (well not really) of 3 or 4 of those SLKs (with and w/o rooftops) when I was on my way to Penang from KL. They were like speeding on the highway… maybe they are from the same group… good that you gave them some honking
shanks - yeah, bitch is the right word to describe that person (I wouldn’t have called her that had she not glowered at me…)
lilian - I don’t know. Bunch of yuppies spending dad’s money I suppose.
tEo - I don’t mind people showing off their wealth coz they can … I know … but there’s a limit to everything.
Jr - there has been a lot of road rage at Malaysia too. I think I’ll have to go get myself a baseball bat or something … it’s a dangerous world out there.
Kevin - yeah, it’s really annoying to see people flashing headlights to wade the traffic. If they wanted to wade traffic so much, they should’ve just applied a job as an ambulance driver or something…
nx - I saw some plates from KL as well, so, it may be them alright.
Hope they were in time for their funeral march.
hahaha. good man.. u should spit at those rich biatch plp that time and blow yr AIR HORN non stop……gave them a lesson……..
kahkahkah … “If they wanted to wade traffic so much, they should’ve just applied a job as an ambulance driver or something…” LOL
haha nice one, serves them right. convoys are fine but obey the rules of the road lar idiots.
Mighty mike… love this post of yours!! cool~ hey, i’m confused… got boys and gals is it?
primrose - the corpses were driving the cars themselves so, the time’s flexible.
humphrey - waste my precious spit on them and dehydrate myself ? why would I want to do that ? heheh
hanyi - why .. you want to apply too ?
little n - it makes us cool people look bad. We should driving those cars instead … and show them some good examples.
fish fish - yeah, a multigender convoy.
Michael, those guys and gals could be from the autocity carnival which started yesterday till sunday.
ks - yeah, they’re heading there actually.
yeah i heard of em b4, as a matter of fact they r quite popular even over here in kl, a few of them have been over here to modify their car or something so words got ard abt these bunch of slk from penang….. seen few of them, like some kinda ‘paria-imitated-nicholas tse’ damn la la
wht ‘type’ is lorraine btw?
Hi…have been reading ur blog for a long time..1st time posting comment…keep up the good work…
Just in case u wanna know..they were heading towards Juru Auto City…There’s a car fair going on…Last I heard…there’s goin to be a convoy of Nissan 350z’s tomorrow…Air horn ready yet??? hehehe…
gym - i hate nicholas tse.
water_junk - you’ve got mail.
slacker - thanks for the support. Appreciated that.
They pissed you off on the road and you moaned here on your blog. Yet again, what difference does that make comparing you with them?
Kindly please refer to my “short blokes discrimination” comment for further info.
- 4th posts -
PaperClipz - you can’t really differentiate between a “moan” and recalling an event … do ya ?
well, not that i care anyway.
Hey, I had a little road bully incident myself. I bloged about it. Feel free to have a look if you are interested.
http://www.penangpenang.com/Article/Discussion/IndDiscussion.aspx?pp=08994633-7ed5-445b-803b-598487f3ef61
Its pretty interesting because the gf is sitting at the back and the male keeps trying to show off. Sigh ..