March 1, 2005

fright factor

Emily and I were discussing about one of her girlfriends’ luck in relationships last night. That friend (let’s call her “Olive”), was already in her late 20’s, but has yet found a steady boyfriend or something. Probably haven’t even had sex before. It seemed that she has not been very lucky with the opposite gender… and Emily attributed that to her coy and conservative behavior… to which, I do not quite agree.

Emily : “But she has rejected countless of matchmaking events! I think it’s because of her reluctance to commit to a relationship. Maybe she preferred someone who is more matured than herself… ”

Me : “No, dear… maturity is not an issue here. Even if she digs those matchmaking efforts, it probably won’t work for her.”

Emily : “Why ?”

Me : “That’s because she’s not very good looking. You see, matchmakings are for love at first sight sort of shit… and with her… err… not very good looks, she’s probably going to induce fright at first sight more than anything else.”

Emily : [nods in agreement]

Me : “The only thing she can strike a chance of meeting someone special, is to socialize amongst her colleagues… hopefully those long period of meddling around would miraculously make someone discover about her beauty from inside… and overlook her disability…”

Emily : “Nurturing love through her good personality…” [nods slowly]

Me : “Yeah yeah … you got my point. You see, if you have a good personality, your looks would automatically become secondary. It’s not that important anymore. Good personality brings out the true beauty of an individual…”

Emily : [nods in agreement]

Me : “Take for example, the both of us …”

Emily : [glowered]

Me : “You’re so ugly and I didn’t mind your bad looks. I accepted you because of your good personality… heheh”

Emily : “WHAAAT ??”

Me : “Just joking dear… just joking… you’re the fairest of them all”

Emily : “If you ever say that I am ugly again, I’m gonna eat supper every night and gain weight…”


You see, a girl involuntarily stays lonely for only 3 common reasons (assuming the girl’s given the liberty to roam freely to socialize) :

1) bad behavior (ill tempered, irrational bitching, over sensitive, etc)
2) bad hygiene (reeked of decomposed carcass, odoriferous armpits, etc)
3) bad looks (downright repugnant like bugs, wild animals or clinical wastes, obesity, etc)

(girls, if you have all the 3 problems mentioned above, please head to the tallest structure you can find at your nearest town/city, and dive head down from it. That’s the only solution)

Obviously, Olive has problem number 3. No, she’s not a blimp. It’s about her looks which is not very ‘in conformance to most human male’s expectation’. Probably a Wookie might find her attractive (sorry, Star Wars season…)
She was somehow born without any eyebrows (or were they too scarce to be noticed ? I wasn’t sure) and with a complexion of a pig’s bladder. She’s goddamn fugly alright.

Luckily, she’s very neat in her attire and has a great personality… else it would have been catastrophic. So, it isn’t that bad after all. All she has to do is to mingle more with her office blokes… and hope that someday they’ll learn how to appreciate her inner beauty and strike some deal there. (Well hell, if that ugly hag Camelia Camilla can hook a prince’s heart making him disregarding all the protests from his royal family, what else in this world could be impossible?)

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 

33 Comments to “fright factor”

  1. tEo says:

    Me : “Just joking dear … just joking… you’re the fairest of them all”
    ~lol.U must have read/watch too much of Snow White’s story lah.~

    Emily : “If you ever say that I am ugly again, I’m gonna eat supper every night and gain weight…”
    ~good threat,Emily!!!~

  2. Maldini says:

    Hey pity girls who has ugly face, but all of them were borned by their mothers, right? Anywhere they can attract guys through their personality. They are better than the bad behavior( especially bad tempered, irrational bitching, over sensitive, etc)

  3. Tutu says:

    uhmmm… does have big melons help? :P

  4. iblogme says:

    you know, what you said are true. disheartening, but it’s the reality. do another post from the woman’s PoV. it may be quite different.

  5. cover the face, fuck the base…..

    or use a paperbag. or just turn the lights off and imagine some porn star. Doggy style and make sure she dont turn round.

    There are ways around it….

  6. Ken says:

    Maldini, you are repeating what Ooi has written.

  7. michaelooi says:

    maldini – that’s a very educational piece of info. thanks.

    tutu – big fruits won’t help anything.

    iblogme – women’s point of view ? i’m not a woman leh…

    monkey – man, you’re savage ler…

    tEo – i never actually completely read/watched Snow White before… coz it’s borrrriiing.

  8. vincent says:

    it helps that Camilla’s prince is just as ugly as she is.

  9. fish fish says:

    Geee… a similar topic I’ve just discuss with my fren few days ago. There was this gal back in China who loves him a lot, and damn pretty gal… he didn’t dare to want… reason No 1 back him off…

  10. h.liew says:

    Why always target at GIRLS, GIRLS, and GIRLS only? What about GUYS who are:

    1) bad behavior
    (ill tempered, irrational bitching, over sensitive, KAKI BOTOL, KAKI PEREMPUAN etc)
    2) bad hygiene (reeked of decomposed carcass, odoriferous armpits, SCRATCH THEIR BALLS & DIG THEIR NOSE IN THE PUBLIC etc)
    3) bad looks (downright repugnant like bugs, wild animals or clinical wastes, obesity, ACNE, LOOK LIKE A PIG etc)

    I just want your entry to be political correct. Cheers.

  11. shanks says:

    emily’s last reply is so funny, and quite scary too.

    anyway, about olive’s problem. perhaps she should headstart a matchmaking events for ugly people to meet. ugly guys can meet ugly girls. that way, everybody wins.

    btw, i noticed that ugly ones usually ended up together. so she probably doesn’t need to worry so much. her knight in rusty armor riding a tapir will come along soon.

  12. h.liew says:

    BTW, it’s not a sin to be born not-so-good-looking, but it’s a sin to judge.

  13. Hustler says:

    cute post… loved the part where you were pulling your wife’s leg… LOL! :)

  14. surfnux says:

    That will be called true love. What about guys? Are girls nowadays are hard to khao? Like u know, some girls I know like to talk about wealth and keep dreaming of getting a wealthy boyfriend. Is it a trend?

  15. Dennis says:

    1st time here..hehe, I like your sense of humor.

  16. elphinstone says:

    are you afraid of your wife gaining weight? lol..

  17. michaelooi says:

    vincent – yeah, i believe that’s what everyone think too.

    fish fish – that type of girl is only good for 1 thing … as sex slaves. Nothing else.

    hliew – that’s because I’m a guy you dolt. And isn’t it a sin for you to judge that I’m all wrong for writing only about the girls (since it’s wrong to judge) ?

    shanks – I’ve seen ugly girls hooking up with knights in shiny armor before. The world is round, nothing is impossible.

    hustler – hahhah.. we’re always like that. Been doing that for 10 years (yeah, I’ve known her for 10 friggin years !)…

    surfnux – from the way the society delve itself on this planet… it’s no surprise that we’re seeing an uptrend of materialistic girls.

    dennis – thanks, appreciated that.

    elphine – not really. I’ll like her no matter what shape she’s in. (now somebody please, don’t ask such question on April Fool’s day…)

  18. m3tt8 says:

    hey,know what, sth i dunn understand, why do ppl judge another person the first time they met??even b4 they get to know each other??then if they r ugly…that means the sparks of romance wont work already??Y is it so??how many ppl do go for inner beauty??hehe…..i m one of those who go for first impression too…sad!!lol!

  19. surfnux says:

    For me, I do look at the outer beauty first and followed by the inner beauty. If the outer is nice, inner is not nice, also not use. :p Sigh… love is just too messy and confusing.

  20. michaelooi says:

    m3tt8 / surfnux – at least you’re honest… and my respect to you for that.

    I’ve seen a case where a young girl and her newborn baby was being abandoned by her husband … once he learnt that she has a terminal stage cancer.
    I saw her suffering myself in Hospice … and words can’t describe how disturbed I felt to learn that love can be betrayed just like that.

    You know, it’s not very difficult to make a statement or quote something impressive… but the real deal actually lies in difficulties and obstacles like this – when we human are put to the ultimate test … whether or not you love a person as you have claimed.

    If you don’t get the message I’m trying to convey here, nevermind.

  21. shanks says:

    “I’ve seen ugly girls hooking up with knights in shiny armor before. The world is round, nothing is impossible”

    yeah, and my first reaction is always, “is he blind?” instead of “she must be really special”.

  22. Yuen Li says:

    I must be a male version of Olive. :(

    Fish fish: You must introduce that China gal to me! ;)

  23. Alphonso says:

    For me, I also look at the outer beauty first and followed by the inner beauty. The difference is, if the outer is nice, then I’ll reject her. I dowan too many people fight with me just for a girl. :p.

  24. Adam says:

    My friend, beauty is but skin deep. There is nothign that plastic surgery can’t fix now-a-days. However, to get a nice hearted girl who loves you is so damn rare.

  25. humphrey says:

    beauty is in the eyes of the beholder…..some plp are not preety buy kind enuf..i admit that i also like other normal guy. beauty come first, then inner second…..but some how if can, do avoid frm making judgement abt plp look. im disagree with one of d comment, saying that ugly end up with ugly..i analyze the chinese news paper, there is a photo of engagement or marriage, sure one of the couple is not SUI one…how 2 justified that?i believe YING and YANG concept. sorryy, mic talk so much,,,,hehe

  26. dean_dang says:

    but ha…I am so good that none of the criteria mentioned I have…but ha why am i still single?!
    ehmm…i think u missed another point…
    reason no 4. gal that so good in making money…coz guy afraid of this kinda of gal…they don’t like gal that better than him
    well for my case la ;p

  27. michaelooi says:

    shanks – “great in bed”

    yuen li – male version of olive = young Bill Gates

    alphonso – awwww… you’re such a thoughtful guy … ok, I’ll contact you when I have ratfink girlies to dispose of.

    adam – couldn’t agree more.

    humphrey – some ugly girls are great in socializing and have big tits so, it’s a very subjective matter. But you’re very right… I agree with you.

    dean_dang – if you would so kindly leave your number please ? *SMACK SMACK BY EMILY*

  28. fish fish says:

    Yuen Li : My fren didn’t even dare to introduce me to that gal. He scares her jealousy would put my life in harm~ But I’ve seen her pics, even the very sexy one, which meant only to be seen by him. Somehow he let me see… Am I lucky or what? :P

  29. mumsgather says:

    You’re so mean! So is Emily with you becos you’re ugly or becos you’re mean? Hehe.

  30. michaelooi says:

    mumsgather – it’s for her to know, for you to find out. muahahahh!

  31. Yuen Li says:

    Michael: Haha, I hope you’re right. ;)

    Dean_Dang: Objection! I like high-achieving Alpha Females (especially the ones who look good, hehe)! But they never seem to be interested in me… :(

    Fish fish: Waaahhhh… lucky you. ;)

  32. MrsT says:

    Hehe!!! i think you are right there.. about Camilla.. ;)

  33. trannies says:

    im a lurker coming out to say hello

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