I was a great kid
Dumb/weird/obnoxious/eccentric/whatever things I did when I was a kid :
- whiffed on my then schooling elder sister’s highlighter. Realized that it had this really unpleasant odor, I muttered to myself … why my sister’s so fucking stupid to buy something that stank so bad … while damaging the tip by stabbing it on the cold hard floor repeatedly … before throwing it away.
- whiffed on my then schooling sister’s Chinese calligraphy ink (kids love to whiff… accept the fact already). This ink rank like a dog’s spit … and it smelled so bad that I actually puked. I muttered to myself, again, … I don’t think there’s anyone who could be more stupid than my sister. Hell … she would even buy a piece of shit if she can find some use of it. I poured half bottle of her ink into the sink.
- dug up my sister’s stash of beauty magazines… and painted all the model’s teeth in black sections to make them look like they have a few missing teeth. Some, I would even add moustache and beard … and laugh out loud in tears by myself.
- stole my mom’s expensive cosmetics for experiments. Poured a large amount of powder and mix it with her facial toner. Topped it off with crushed lipsticks, foundation cream, and whatever stuff I can find from the kitchen … I finally made myself some really gross looking piece of semi solid blue colored mush. With that mush, I shaped it into a really cool looking (blue colored) skull … and brought it to school to show it to my friends. My friend PukeMachine was the only person impressed with it. If I could recall correctly, that skull finally ended up at some Indian kid’s face (or was it his schoolbag ? Forgot). Had a great laugh after that.
- Pressed a stretch of houses’ doorbells (with my cousins) and fled right to the end of the street to witness a cool effect of pissed off neighbors coming out simultaneously from their house.
- Climbed some trees inside a church compound (Holy Spirit of Greenlane) with my cousins and mimicked some tarzan yell… till the pastor (or was it the pastor’s bitch ? I forgot) came out and chased us away. We later snuck back into the compound and vandalized the pastor’s car (I think it’s an old model of Fiat or something). Also knocked on his quarter’s door and fled.
- Scoured some closed stalls in nearby market (with a bunch of childhood friends) and found an unlocked cache of soda drinks in one of the stall. Like some pirates who had found some hidden treasures, we took the liberty to plunder a few bottles of cokes and fled. Didn’t bother to look for a tool to remove the bottle cap, we simply broke off the glass bottle spout and poured the drink directly into our mouth … partially soaking our clothes with cokes. (kids, don’t ever do this at home or anywhere … you might seriously injure yourself !)
- Tortured my sister’s life sized rag doll by using it as my martial art practice dummy. I practiced on how to give a good kick and also how to punch correctly with it.
- Spat into my sister’s schoolbag, drinks, her hair (when she’s sleeping) and her belongings. She never found out about it…
- I would often model someone’s face (that I hate) with plasticine, and would perform all kinds of torture on that model. Like gouging out the person’s eyes, or perform a cross section right in the middle of the person’s head … and stitch it up to look like the Frankenstein monster. It’s fun.
- Climbed up onto my cupboard’s door and swung horizontally on its hinges. The hinges gave way one day and the entire door was ripped out of the cupboard. Got a great beating from my mom after that.
- Gave my neighbor’s little daughter some awkward haircut and shocked her mom flat out. The mother later came to me and told me it is “not right” to cut someone’s hair. Yeah right, explain barber and hairdresser. (I was only 7)
- Played with my uncle’s razor at his home (my mom’s doing confinement for his newborn). Since I’ve got nothing to shave (no whiskers, no moustache, of course no pubic hair - I was only 8yo) … I took one of my own eyebrows out. I laughed like a mad fuck before worrying about explaining it to my mom. I later made up a story telling her that I scratched my brows with a knife when I was peeling some onions (while helping out with her chores) … and accidentally shaved my eyebrow off. She never found out about the truth.
Will add more next time.
Well…I’ve shaved off eyebrows too, but I was smart enough to do my sister’s instead of my own
I laughed too, practically ruined the beginning of her social life
Wah lau…Memang budak jahat ni!Betul betul budak jahat!Satan reincarnation ah?
ROTFstillLMAO! XD XD XD
i made a kid touched me thigh, cried foul/rape/molest and threatened to tell his mom and me mom if he wont let me chop off a chunk of his hair….i had my fix
Boy, you sure were one hell of a bitch when you were a kid weren’t you? I cannot believe nobody killed you , you little shit. But I gotta admit, you do have a loyal following band of shit-eaters eagerly awaiting your next pooping session so they can lap it all up…
Lol, u were very naughty!
Darn, i can’t remember half of the bad stuffs i did when i was young…i need to recall some of them to have a good laugh.
lainie - shaving is fun…you know. hehheh
jason - if a boy sits around playing with dolls, that’s not normal.
kimberly - that’s kinda cruel isn’t it ? Well, I’ve beaten up countless of neighborhood kids before, in pretense that we’re playing ultraman-monster conflict…
michaelcode - and that explains a lot why you’re here in the first place, eh ?
Jr. - Let’s just say, I’m a person that knows when to have fun … and lives to tell great stories about them.
You must have disliked your sis back then hahahaha
hehe.. really funny ler..
and yes, chinese caligraphy ink stinks, BIG TIME!!!! :P~
Sigh … Reminds me of my mischievous days. I remember once “breaking-into” the school canteen on a Saturday and had a free flow of soft and lots of ice cream. Hey they left the door locked, but it only took a hand to reach behind the grille to open it! Needless to say we all ended up with rather upset stomachs thanks to the ice cream and soft drink mixtures.
devil betul.. your sister must have hated you a lot.. you sure she never go to bomoh and curse you ah :pP
~lol~
Ur behaviours remind me of my younger bro when he was in kindergarten althou he’s not that evil compared to u.I was the victim then.He tore my drawings(which were supposed to pass up)n put those joss sticks’ ashes onto my schoolbag.
I ain’t stupid either cos i used my weapon-tears n he got a great beating from my mum.
Since then,he’s scared of women’s tears.Muahahaha…=PpPpP
btw,been reading ur blog for quite a long time but never comment be4.Ur blog rocks,man!!!
if only ur sis read this….so gross…all the spits…
your mum believe u “scratched” it with knife when peeling onion???
you guys were evil… the WORST thing i ever done…. was to ask my little cousin to go and smack the nest of bee and end up she kena stung…
the next was to break the hip of my cousin’s barbie doll and blame it to the very same cousin who got stung… heheheh and none know i m the culprit!
kevin - no. i loved my sister very much. i did that to her because i liked her.
elphinestone - i wonder what is it actually made of… some dog’s shit mixed with saliva ? And yet there are still some artists actually used their tongue to draw with these inks. Uggh
fuchsia - that’s awesome. I tried breaking into my school canteen before… but the apek locked everything so, I’m not as lucky as you.
munkit - i actually hated her more than she hated me. I’m having the advantage here.
tEo - your younger brother is going to be a very successful person in future. Trust me.
zbjernak - damn, and why would you even want to touch a barbie doll in the first place ? ? ? You’re a GUY.. dude !
buaya was a good boy, hence now i am a bad boy
the spitting part is gratifying, no?
buaya - your definition of good boy can be quite different from what other people expect .. so …
shanks - it was fun alright.
Geez, can’t really remember what I did when I was a kid. But I did remember my cousin played with her father’s razor and end up shaving BOTH of her eyebrows. She look so funny without brows! Hehe. Anyway, just to tell you, I’ve been reading your blog for sometime back and it was great. Love it. =)
Kekeke… you reminded me so much of my childhood. Did you get rotan at least once per 2 days? Waiting for the coming up…
Talking about being a great kid, I loved catching those large grasshoppers and peel those wings off layer by layer - then, move on to those legs one by one. *snigger*
I would ask another boy at kindergarten to visit the loo together so that I could demonstrate pee-ing while standing. LOL!
Yeah, I was a great kid too! :p
Chey, I just re-read that kindergarten bit and sounded like I were a pedophile. Don’t get me wrong aa! I was in kindy then!
s.princess - shaving eyebrows are fun. You should try it someday.
fish fish - nope. Only once a while. My mom didn’t know so much about my mischief … only part of it. Like when I got teachers calling her up and spilled some beans.
primrose - You were a great kid alright. I acknowledged that. heheh …
wah… you’re such a devil back then!! tsk tsk tsk… now, worse?
All ur evilness is wayyyy nothing compared to the evilness of a devil that actually read his very own sister’s DIARY! Even weapon-tears cant repair the damage…*sob sob* that’s cruel man(to those who love reading other ppl’s diary)
Holy Spirit? Lucky the priest did not convert you! BTW, that is a priest ‘cos it is a Catholic church and priests cannot marry or have sex wan.
summer - now ? now i’m someone completely opposite. I read love novels and sing to plants.
rosy - omg that’s so friggin’ evillllll
lilian - perhaps. I couldn’t tell the difference coz I basically have zero knowledge about religion stuffs. heheh…
lol, that shaving the eyebrows part. i did that when i was f2, laughed at myself after doing that.. when my mom came back, teruk i kena scolded
haha! hmm.. but after shaved your eyebrows.. the new one looks nice 
:P 