February 23, 2005

the special staircase

You see, my ex-factory (same company, different factory) had this really long staircase near the office area. It was a very special staircase – which I didn’t know when I first joined the company. Everyone seemed to love it for reasons unknown (then) to me. My colleagues especially. Although our office cubicles were situated kind of far from that staircase, the engineers in my workgroup would always meander across the big ass office floor, just to use this staircase.

And what more? This long staircase actually led to the Human Resource department, where there were a few HR bitches that would glower at any passerby’s as if everyone owed them money. And from the HR office, there were only 3 routes to exit the cursed area – a route through the lobby, another through the production floor and the third one through a maze of corridors that would eventually fuse back further down the production floor. All of the routes required a scanned access through electronically locked doors – heaps of hassle if you were to ask me.

So, unless one has some business to deal with those HR bitches… or the intention to access the production floor, this staircase shouldn’t be an ideal way to travel out of the building. But ironically, that wasn’t the case. My colleagues? They would use that staircase to go for lunch, to go for their tea breaks and to go home. It was their favorite staircase. And it got me thinking – why do these bastards like this goddamn staircase so much? Why risk their lives wandering near those ferocious bitches? Why all the hassles when they can use the other staircase that directs them straight out of the building? I found out soon one day, a few weeks down the job – the ‘not so nice way’.

That fateful moment, I was walking down this staircase heading to the production floor, when I noticed that SlutSlut was walking up from below. Now, a little bit about SlutSlut before I proceed … she’s actually a clerk in her late 20’s (back then) that was infamous of her scanty sense of fashion and ridiculous short miniskirts. She has an adequately proportional body figure… but her face’s a big failure. Looking at her face would remind me of those half-bred baboons with a horse gum set of teeth. She’s the ‘cover the face, fire the base’ type. Oh yeah.

Alright, back to that day, so I was descending the upper half of this really long staircase (there were 2 flights of stairs facing the opposite direction – refer illustration on the left), while she was ascending the lower half… until we walked pass each other at the middle ledge and continued our way. That was when I noticed that she was wearing this relatively short skirt and I was thinking deep inside “Wow, I could actually see her tushy on my way down…”

Sure enough… out of my male instincts, I conveniently tilted my head upwards about 30 degrees (when descending that lower half of the staircase), and rolled my eyeballs 60 degrees higher… then WHAM ! I saw it all. Her pantyhose. Her underwear. And something extra – lodged in between her legs.

I didn’t know what the hell was that ‘thing’ so, I tilted my head higher to take a more careful study – and finally realized that it was a sanitary pad. With wings. It was shockingly agitating and totally unexpected. I’ve seen sanitary pads before, but only when they’re harmlessly idling on the shelves of some departmental stores. Never had I seen a live one in action sucking blood from a bleeding beaver. You can imagine the amount of damage inflicted on an immaculate mind of an innocent 21 year old bloke.

That was how I found out about the infamous ‘upskirt staircase’… in my own traumatic way.

You see, this staircase was situated at a location that was known to have a myriad supply of pretty young girls (upstairs). And it was the only staircase that has an entirely clear view to the outside through a big plane of tempered glass panel. That was why that area was kinda bright – because of the external sunlight.

So, with all that naturally light, strategic design and a plethora of resources… it becomes everyone’s favorite staircase.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

24 Comments to “the special staircase”

  1. ks says:

    Wah! Which factory u used to work in? I wanna apply la!!!!

  2. Jason says:

    U saw a still-sucking-blood sanitary pads wing,really pity you lah!got any bad memories after that?did it haunt you?

  3. if only i had one in my training company last time. hahaha

  4. There is this chick over at my company, in England, if you must know. Anyhoo, holy crap man. She IS a chick. Secretary summore. Damn nice tatoo just above her ass. (a tight one i must add) and she wears tight tops…….model behaviour ballszzz…..

  5. elphinstone says:

    hehe.. that staircase very terror one.. some chicks dunno how to take care of themselves somemore… wear short short skirt somemore walk at the edge of the stairs.. dunno if they did that purposely or not… :P

    and no, i don’t use the stairs when im wearing skirt… teehee..

  6. charles says:

    A good engineer always applies his skills.

  7. Din says:

    That staircase is engineering at its best…

  8. MunKit says:

    indeed a magical staircase! :) salute salute the architect

  9. buaya69 says:

    in my ex office, we had a steel spiral staircase, and the SYTs still kept wearing miniskirts… *nosebleed*

  10. humphrey says:

    cool…..guess u also should used it everyday man….hahahaha. never tought that there is so HAM SAP enginner who can come out with such cool ideas.
    i also want 2 apply at your company.can c a lot of thign from different view…..
    BTW, u saw the pad rite…is it a fobia for u?hws u felt, whn u eat something after u saw that wing pad?hehehe

  11. lilian says:

    The staircase to heaven.

  12. water_junk says:

    eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww….

    sanitary pad in action? LOL!!!!

    really a cool piece of engineering btw haha

  13. fish fish says:

    Kekeke… people say see that blood sucking thing can make you suei many years one ler~ Believe or not.:P

  14. Hustler says:

    Nice map Mike! Testament to your engineering skills! LoL! :)

  15. Primrose says:

    Wah, can check out longkang besar from bird’s eye view. LOL!

  16. michaelooi says:

    ks – sorry man, confidential.

    jason / humphrey – no nightmares, just a vivid story to tell my friends and blog readers

    ronan – if only “if only” works…

    monkey – i thought the expectation should be higher in UK ? Like seeing bare boobies in a park or something ?

    elphine – i believe some did it deliberately.

    charles – couldn’t agree more.

    din – if i were to be given the chance to design a staircase, I’m gonna make the whole thing in transparent tempered glass.

    munkit – i think it’s just a coincidence … the architect didn’t actually designed it for this purpose.

    buaya – that’s how you got your nick eh ? heheh

    lilian – yeah, and below it, hell. (complete with hellhounds)

    water_junk – without it, there will be blood stains all over the place… so, it’s actually good thing.

    fish fish – i guess so, i didn’t get a promotion for a couple of years in that factory.

    hustler – thanks for the compliment dude. You’re spoiling me already.

    primrose – hmmmm … never saw that before… but in my workplace, one needs no bird’s eyeview to spot an impressive cleavage. They’re EVERYWHERE.

  17. rotidua says:

    its better to see the pad (wing means for heavy flow) than the tampoon stuck up inside her.

  18. kimberlycun says:

    every man’s got a lil peepin tom inside.

  19. bangkokcafe says:

    hmm…

  20. michaelooi says:

    roti – tampons scary meh ?

    kimberly – same thing with the girls. :)

    bangkokcafe – woi ! tukar your nick lah ! it sucks. menyiahsuikan the name BOD only…

  21. Yuen Li says:

    So, I take it you able subsequently to record more pleasant observations about female anatomy in regards to prettier specimens? ;)

  22. Summer says:

    hmmm…no more staircases for me!!! ;)

  23. michaelooi says:

    yuen li – i can actually do more than that. Practical research, visual inspection, … u name it.

    summer – you don’t wear pants ?

  24. Summer says:

    not when i wear skirts, my dear!! ;)

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