the special staircase
You see, my ex-factory (same company, different factory) has this really long staircase near the office area. It was a very special staircase - which I didn’t know when I first joined the company. Everyone seems to love it for some reasons. My colleagues especially… Although our office cubes were situated kinda far from that staircase, my group’s engineers would always meander across the big ass office floor, just for the sake of using this staircase.
And what more ? This long staircase actually leads to the HR department, where there were a few half-bitch-pitbull HR hags that would glower at any passer-by’s as if everyone owed them money… And from the HR office, there were only 3 routes to exit the cursed area - a route through the lobby, another through the production floor and the third one through a maze of corridors that would eventually fuse back further down the production floor. All of the routes requires a scanned access to a series of electronically locked doors - heaps of hassle if you were to ask me.
So, unless one has some business to deal with those HR pitbulls … or the intention to access the production floor, this staircase shouldn’t be an ideal way to travel out of the building. But ironically, that wasn’t the case. My colleagues ? They would use that staircase to go for lunch, to go for their tea breaks and to go home. It was their favorite staircase. And those habit of their’s, never failed to baffle me … why do they like this goddamn staircase so much ? Why risk their lives wandering near those ferocious pitbulls ? Why all the hassles when you can use the other staircase that directs you straight to the building entrance ? I found out soon a few weeks down the job - the “not so nice way”.
One day, I was walking down this staircase heading to the production floor… when I noticed that SlutSlut was walking up from below. Now, a little bit history about SlutSlut before I proceed … she’s actually a clerk in her late 20’s (back then) that was infamous of her tight fitting scanty clothes and ridiculously short miniskirts. She has an adequately proportional body figure … but her face’s a big failure. Looking at her face would remind me of those half-bred baboons with a horse gum set of teeth. She’s the “cover the face, fire the base” type. Hell yeah.
Alright, so I was descending the upper half of this really long staircase (there are 2 flights of stairs facing the opposite direction - refer illustration below), while she was ascending the lower half… until we walked pass each other at the middle ledge and continued our way. That was when I noticed that she was wearing this relatively short skirt … and I was thinking deep inside “Wow, I can actually see her tushy from my way down…”
Sure enough… out of my biologically inquisitiveness to learn about female anatomy through interesting angles (I was only 21 yrs old back then for fuck’s sake … can’t blame me for my curiosity), I duly tilted my head upwards about 30 degrees (when descending that lower half of the staircase), and rolled my eyeballs 60 degrees higher …. then WHAM ! I saw it all. Her pantyhose. Her underwear. And something extra - lodged in between her legs.
I didn’t know what the hell was that “thing” so, I tilted my head higher to take a more careful look - and finally realized that it was a sanitary pad. With wings. It was shockingly agitating and totally unexpected. I’ve seen sanitary pads before, but only when they’re harmlessly idling on the shelves of some departmental stores … never had I seen a live one in action sucking blood from a bleeding beaver. You can imagine the amount of damage inflicted on a pure mind of an innocent 21 yrs old bloke.
That’s how I found out about the infamous “upskirt staircase” … in my own traumatic way.
You see, this staircase was situated at a location that was known to have a myriad supply of pretty young girls (upstairs). And it’s the only staircase that has an entirely clear view out from the building through a big plane of tempered glass panel. As a result of that, that area is kinda naturally illuminated by the bright sunlight.
Strategic design, naturally lit and plenty of resources … what more could a bloke ask for ?
Wah! Which factory u used to work in? I wanna apply la!!!!
U saw a still-sucking-blood sanitary pads wing,really pity you lah!got any bad memories after that?did it haunt you?
if only i had one in my training company last time. hahaha
There is this chick over at my company, in England, if you must know. Anyhoo, holy crap man. She IS a chick. Secretary summore. Damn nice tatoo just above her ass. (a tight one i must add) and she wears tight tops…….model behaviour ballszzz…..
hehe.. that staircase very terror one.. some chicks dunno how to take care of themselves somemore… wear short short skirt somemore walk at the edge of the stairs.. dunno if they did that purposely or not…
and no, i don’t use the stairs when im wearing skirt… teehee..
A good engineer always applies his skills.
That staircase is engineering at its best…
indeed a magical staircase!
salute salute the architect
in my ex office, we had a steel spiral staircase, and the SYTs still kept wearing miniskirts… *nosebleed*
cool…..guess u also should used it everyday man….hahahaha. never tought that there is so HAM SAP enginner who can come out with such cool ideas.
i also want 2 apply at your company.can c a lot of thign from different view…..
BTW, u saw the pad rite…is it a fobia for u?hws u felt, whn u eat something after u saw that wing pad?hehehe
The staircase to heaven.
eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww….
sanitary pad in action? LOL!!!!
really a cool piece of engineering btw haha
Kekeke… people say see that blood sucking thing can make you suei many years one ler~ Believe or not.:P
Nice map Mike! Testament to your engineering skills! LoL!
Wah, can check out longkang besar from bird’s eye view. LOL!
ks - sorry man, confidential.
jason / humphrey - no nightmares, just a vivid story to tell my friends and blog readers
ronan - if only “if only” works…
monkey - i thought the expectation should be higher in UK ? Like seeing bare boobies in a park or something ?
elphine - i believe some did it deliberately.
charles - couldn’t agree more.
din - if i were to be given the chance to design a staircase, I’m gonna make the whole thing in transparent tempered glass.
munkit - i think it’s just a coincidence … the architect didn’t actually designed it for this purpose.
buaya - that’s how you got your nick eh ? heheh
lilian - yeah, and below it, hell. (complete with hellhounds)
water_junk - without it, there will be blood stains all over the place… so, it’s actually good thing.
fish fish - i guess so, i didn’t get a promotion for a couple of years in that factory.
hustler - thanks for the compliment dude. You’re spoiling me already.
primrose - hmmmm … never saw that before… but in my workplace, one needs no bird’s eyeview to spot an impressive cleavage. They’re EVERYWHERE.
its better to see the pad (wing means for heavy flow) than the tampoon stuck up inside her.
every man’s got a lil peepin tom inside.
hmm…
roti - tampons scary meh ?
kimberly - same thing with the girls.
bangkokcafe - woi ! tukar your nick lah ! it sucks. menyiahsuikan the name BOD only…
So, I take it you able subsequently to record more pleasant observations about female anatomy in regards to prettier specimens?
hmmm…no more staircases for me!!!
yuen li - i can actually do more than that. Practical research, visual inspection, … u name it.
summer - you don’t wear pants ?
not when i wear skirts, my dear!!