February 1, 2005

CNY then & now

I used to be so excited about Chinese New Year when I was a kid. But now, *sigh* gone were the excitements for this once oh-so-grand celebration. For me, today, it’s just another shitty event that I have to put with, unwillingly.

I so wanted to describe my feelings right now, but somehow, I find it difficult to put them out in words descriptive enough to express them acutely. Hence, I decided to put up a more concise list instead… that encompasses the comparison between the “then and now” version of myself …

Chinese New Year for me

Then : Insomnia… unbearable excitement. Wakes up earlier than usual, dons nice/new clothes… can’t wait to go to ‘the headquarter’ (my grandparents’ house – meeting place for our extended family)

Now : Oversleeps way past lunch… due to extreme alcohol intoxication the eve before. Dilapidated T-shirt and bermuda shorts… procrastination, daydreaming, porcelain hugging, and near crash for the second time, before realizing I’m suppose to be having lunch at ‘the headquarter’.

Then : Round up adults and blackmail them for ang-pows. (*ang-pow – a small red colored envelope that usually contains gift-money as a sign of good fortune and luck in the Chinese tradition. Also a disguised form of bribery.).

Now : Being round up and blackmailed by kids for ang-pows. Have to submit to their ill-will so that they would leave me alone. (kindergarten tax)

Then : Running around shouting like Rambo, blowing up stuffs, plowing animal asses with firecrackers, refuse to go home.

Now : In front of the TV, watching Rambo running around shouting, blowing up stuffs, plowing Vietcong asses with heavy firearms and go home after that.

Then : Free cookies, oranges, candies and chocolates.

Now : Overpriced shitty hawker food, expensive booze and plenty of hangovers.


Ironic, isn’t it? It’s still the same celebration … still my same physical self… but somehow, over the years, the passion changes to the complete opposite.

Let’s just say, being an adult sucks. The only fun and cool thing that adults get to do (that children can’t) is sex. Nothing else.

If I were to be given a choice, I would definitely choose not to grow up, abstaining from any commitment/responsibilities… and have sex everyday.

Happy Chinese New Year, grown ups.

michaelooi  | satirical shit  | 

21 Comments to “CNY then & now”

  1. Jason says:

    Yeah,CNY are not used to be aldy.To me,CNY,oh,okay.Wats d huu haa about?I dun like going visiting aldy…just want stay home n let ppl visit me.CNY sux…

  2. JxT2J says:

    Happy Chinese New Year, Michael. I hope you and Emily will enjoy a wonderfully prosperous year ! $$$ !

  3. auyongtc says:

    Eh mike, I send you a Pos Ekspres envelope kay? Put in my angpow and send it back kay? hehe

  4. sarah says:

    it’s like that with all celebrations. i dread anything family reunion now. but dreading it doesn’t mean i get to skip it. the best thing to do is try to enjoy it instead of fretting. anyway, happy chinese new year! ang pao kasi mali! ;)

  5. Din says:

    yeah…no more cheongsams too….*sigh*

  6. Jr. says:

    Yes yes…it sucks, ain’t it?

    Being a kid is fun! Why do we, humans need to study for about 2 decades since when we were young only to end up in our adulthoods, facing endless traumatizing experiences…
    Just like those you have mentioned.

    Remember yourself kicking that Ah Wong? It seemed to be an adventurous and a wicked thing to do back then. But doing it now again could only mean getting yourself into more troubles.

    I’m gonna hit 22 soon…*sigh* if u know wat i mean… i’m getting old; have more responsibilities and less fun.

  7. iblogme says:

    At least there are holidays, intoxication and fun-gambling. Happy CNY, fellow adult, and to yours as well.

  8. Holycow says:

    For me, ever since goverment placed a ban on fireworks, all celebration turns out to be sucks. Damn, I miss those moments where my hometown always becomes like war zone during CNY… but now, fart sounds louder than fireworks.

  9. jasdev says:

    choose not to grow up
    … and have sex everyday

    and kindergarten tax? ive had chinese friends all my breathing life but have not heard this ! LOL

    kong hey fat choy, macha !

  10. uculer says:

    i have been trying not to grow up all these years. but i think finally i’m freaking out for i’m now reaching 23! yikes yikes yikes!

    btw, have a nice CNY. enjoy~

  11. michaelooi says:

    jason – well, CNY can be fun if all your relatives has a cute daughter which you can chat with … but unfortunately, that usually don’t happen.

    jxt2j – same to you too, jason.

    auyong – riiiiiiiiiiiiiight, *nods slowly*

    sarah – well, if i can make myself enjoy it, then there’re wouldn’t be that much ‘fretting’ in the first place. *hands out virtual ang-pow*

    din – cheongsam ! cheongsam used to be a tight fitting dress for hot hoochiemamas. But now, it comes in all sizes … even whales can wear them.

    jr. – dude, if 22 is “old” for you, then what’s 29 for me aa ? tiiuuuuuuuu

    iblogme – if it wasn’t for the gambling, boozing and parties, I would wave slept all the way through CNY. eheheh…

    holycow – well, that’s not the case in Penang. Illegal fireworks still manage to make it’s way to consumer hands. And now, people would light up fireworks not only during CNY,… but on Thaipusam, Christmas, Muharram, Hari Raya, National Day … and heck, they even played fireworks on ANY NORMAL DAY.

    jasdev – kindergarten tax is my own term lah.

    uculer – 23 ! That’s the age when my life was the most happening. Clubbing 2 – 3 times a week and free of commitment.

  12. Kevin says:

    Same here except for the kindergarten tax thing hahahahha…

  13. surfnux says:

    Kiong Hi Huat Chai Mike. :p

  14. elphinstone says:

    the only thing i like about chinese new year is the food and firecrackers.. hehe

    Happy Chinese New Year dude. Where’s my angpow? :P (my one not kindy tax but adult tax, so must give more…) hehehe

  15. zbjernak says:

    sigh….at least u r married…and eligible to give angpow…kids can’t do that as well

    imagine u r 29 and still single…it will be hell day when u meet your extended families…


  16. Primrose says:

    *hands out angpow* “Nah, this is the last angpow ha. Chuk lei wan tou lou kung ha. Next year will be your turn ha”. And that’s how it goes from every aunty you meet (most males just pig out)! Bleh!

  17. ShaolinTiger says:

    my aunt is 46 and she still gets angpow…my hero.

  18. Jase says:

    Not to grow up? Hehehe, sounds like you have a secret wish to become Peter Pan. But then again, being Peter Pan doesn’t have any sex desires…

  19. fish fish says:

    You want to be the adult version of Peter Pan is it? Kekeke…

  20. michaelooi says:

    kevin – i thought you’re still single ? *hint to the girls…

    surfnux – tiuuuuuu… i haven’t got rich yet and you’ve already congratulated me …

    elphine – i’ll courier it to you … ahaks

    zbjernak – you’re 29 already meh ? i thought you’re still pubic-hairless … ahaks, kidding.

    primrose – well, they say the same thing every year don’t they ? but they’ll still need to pony up everytime you stretch out your open palm…

    ST – i have an uncle who’s 50 and he still gets ang-pows. He should be nominated as Man Of The Year.

    jase / fish fish – Being Peter Pan isn’t that bad. He can have sex in mid air … now that’s a stunt nobody gets to perform.

  21. Kevin says:

    Yah What i ment was you with your kindergarten tax, me no kindergarten tax hahaha

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