January 31, 2005

the guardian of peace

I was walking along the shoplots in Carrefour heading towards the bakery to buy a piece of bread, when a fatass jerk in red collared fluorescent blue shirt approached me. His appearance irked me even though he has not start talking to me yet … because nobody fucking wears a RED COLLARED FLUORESCENT BLUE SHIRT. It disrupts the world peace. I got even more pissed off when I realized that he had a couple dozens of ripened hickeys on his face and he fucking stood too near to where I was … (his hickeys disrupt world peace too, so I wasn’t really pleased with that…)

“What the fuck do you want asshole ??” I yelled at him.
“Oh no sir, I’m from [INSERT BANK NAME] and I would like to promote our credit card and …”

That was it, he wore a red collared fluorescent blue shirt, had ripened hickeys, called me a sir (should’ve called me “brother”) and promoted his stupid credit card without my consent. Now… if that person is not a terrorist (that disrupts world peace), then please fucking tell me, what else could he be.

I punched him in the face before he managed to finish that sentence and blood spurted out from his nostrils … soaking his blue shirt red. (Which was kinda cool because it flushed with the color of his collar after that..). He wailed like a pussy and was uttering something unintelligible. Something like “Uwegghhh weegghh uwegghh”.

I mistaken what he said as “Biff me up more” and I continued to pummel him. I kicked him in the ribs, chest, head… and I think I even crashed something on top of him…. a wooden chair or a table, I forgot.

That was when, one of his hag colleagues came yelling me to stop whatever I was doing and tried to help that pussy up on his feet. But that fatass pussy was too heavy for her and she fell to the ground… partially exposing her gross yellow stained while cotton thong to the public. Ewwwhhh … and someone from the crowd spat at her for being such an unhygienic sleaze.

She got up and started bitching about me beating up her pussy colleague … “How could you do this to him !!? Bitch bitch bitch…police.. bitch bitch… arrest..bitch bitch bitch !!!”. It was annoying. I stood there for approximately 3 seconds and was starting to get agitated again. Her bitching was certainly disrupting the world peace … and I couldn’t stand for not doing something about it. I procrastinated no more, and jammed a piece of the broken furniture (that was used to crash on pussy earlier) into her stinking mouth, breaking her set of bucktooth and knocked her out cold.

With pussy lying there unconscious and bitch passed out, it was all peaceful again. And I continued my way to buy me a piece of bread…

michaelooi  | imaginations  | 

17 Comments to “the guardian of peace”

  1. humphrey says:

    hahhaha cool man…..u r to good to be a writer…with such imigination, u can write any single words about those in yr hate list…may be u can write abt the new guy…..if he cant except it, ask him to flush his head in the toilet bowl……..this wht i learn from u man….this really cool……

  2. robin says:

    Yeah right…stop day dreaming. Furthermore,you seem to have rage problems and it is advisable to address your sudden burst of anger with some anger management course. If left uncheck, you probably turn go around murmuring….”you are making me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry…” and then break down and cry like a faggot….

    Funny though…..

  3. michaelooi says:

    oooo… i have rage problems and I don’t even know that. And if left “unchecked”, i’m gonna turn into a homosexual you say ? Wow… that’s scientifically so possible.

    Riiiiiiigggghhhhttttt … *nods slowly*

  4. humphrey says:

    Robin, robin, robin….Bo Hut…..(lu bo hut hia?)lu kana sai la……got to hell you, damm moron, son of mongoloid..simply say plp got prb..u r the 1 who got the MENTAL DISORDER. reflect yrself before dare to say somthing abt others….open yr mind KID….u r BIATCH

  5. Jason says:

    Violent pedigree…Dun let your children inherit them.:bpbpbp

  6. Wingz says:

    eh brader cool man! itu last 2 punch lu masuk my account ok ? i wanna do the same thing to those credit kad promoter long time ledi … dem those annoying freak!

  7. elphinstone says:

    i hate those selling the so-called “charity coupons” more… they like to harass people.. one even claimed that i was heartless because i refused to buy from her! next time when i meet this girl again, can help bash her up for me ah?? hehehe…

  8. michaelooi says:

    guys, if you think this is by any means real, you should go for a brain check up ler …

    this is just a superficial post with veiled message, which would require the minimum IQ level 10 to decipher (that’s roughly equivalent to the IQ of a tomato plant)

    I’m not that violent lar … (ish .. this is so potong stim)

  9. Jr. says:

    Lol, some people(like Robin) just so caught up with their daily lives that they have completely forgotten about the wonders of daydreaming.
    It’s a form of stress relief.

    Needless to say, i don’t need to defend Michael Ooi for his wicked post. I have been driving so often back in KL that often than not i dreamed about drawing out a pistol and kill a dozen of morons on the road who happens to block my way in the most unfashionable reasons.

    Wonder where they got their licenses though???

  10. MunKit says:

    my IQ about 9 only. red n blue and fat.. sounds like doraemon only.. nowadays got cartoon characters work in banks liow. btw, i quite pity some of these bank staffs nowadays.. those working for foreign banks rely solely on commissions as the only source of income.. if they don sell any CCs, they don get a single cent in their pay cheques.. so.. they’re kinda kesian too :)

  11. mel says:

    So Mike Ooi the ” heavenly” hero has saved the world for the day…….

  12. JxT2J says:

    Looks like SitiBeng. Is it SitiBeng ?

  13. michaelooi says:

    Jr. – KL people are very nice, until you see them drive on a road. eheheh

    munkit – they “leok” our money without conscience … and you still pity them ?

    mel – yeah. how did you figure that out ?

    jason – nope. Ambank maaaa…

  14. lilian says:

    Mike, the next time they bother me, I call you ha? In fact they are so pesky and are everywhere. Usually when they approach me, my mind go ‘KN, I got gold card time, you also not born yet, CB’ This is especially so when they call me ‘aunty’. If address me as Miss, maybe I spent 10 secs. listening.

  15. michaelooi says:

    lilian – sure. Call me. I’ll bring along a chainsaw.

    there’s once a promoter came to me to promote his card :
    “sir, we have this promotion ..bla bla bla”
    “Look, I already have a homeloan, master and visa from your bank. There’s nothing more to rip off …”
    “How about an additional platinum card ?”

    I felt like punching him. But he’s taller than me … (that guy’s 6 fucking feet)

  16. Ju-Lian says:

    Your brand of humor ah…reminds me of Stephen Chow lah. Fecking violent but one can’t help but cackle at the images you inspire. Damn.

  17. Buaya69 says:

    if the girl’s cute enough, i may stop for a while. why waste the buaya moment? muahahahahar! but sadly, mostly guys lar so i wave them away. if they pester summore, i tell them i know michael ooi! nyak ak ak!

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