January 31, 2005

keywords II

You guys won’t believe what those sick people out there typed in the search engine… and ended up in my blog. (this is the second part of the first)

1) durian smell gas – My best guess is this idiot actually smelled something kinky when his pet dog let out a sneak cheek (who says animals don’t fart ?) out of some imbalanced leftover diet, and came searching in the net about what has he been whiffing… if there’s any side effect on him… and whatever shitty information he could obtain from the net.

2) Tat Seng slippers – When Tat Seng started his merchandise of Japanese rubber soled slippers/sandals many years ago, he wouldn’t have thought that some clueless dork might be typing his trademark name into the search engine… and ended up in this rated 62% evil blog.

3) baboon pic – To check if there are any photos of his/her distant relatives accidentally posted on the net. Or perhaps somebody managed to make the info searcher believe that Baboon is the name of a hot porn star?

4) “one night stand”+penang – Searching for one-night-stand on the net? What the fuck was this guy thinking? Duuuude… you don’t search for one-night-stands on the NET. You search them in clubs, pubs and discos

5) sex rambang – You’re confusing the search engine, dumbfuck. Sex is spelled as “seks” in Malay. Dah la bodoh, nak layar laman seks pulak, perabih beras nih

6) Bangla fuck – Look, I don’t mean to offend anyone but, do you have an idea how bad smelling a Bangla is? I couldn’t imagine why would anyone interested in having sex with a Bangla. Why not consider a sewer pipe? Either you fuck the pipe, or the pipe lubes your ass… doesn’t matter.

7) photos naked housewives – You stupid pervert. Some housewives have high amount of cellulite that outweights a whale’s lard… and those are known to be comatose inducing. Might as well kill yourself by stabbing a knife into your eye socket repeatedly.

8) sweaty girl armpit picture – some really sick people out there who had a fetish for sweaty armpits. Girls, don’t be wearing any sleeveless late at night. Or at least patch them up with a duct tape or something… should you need to wear one.

9) granny sex – lo and behold ! Who would have thought that there are still somebody out there that are seeking information regarding copulation with a geriatric ?

10) picture tit blade cut scream blood torture – this is getting insane. There’s a sadomasochistic serial killer in the prowl out there ! and he has been to my blog ! *scream*

You sick people out there… stay away from me and my blog.

michaelooi  | nonsense  | 

59 Comments to “keywords II”

  1. Jr. says:

    OMG….ROFL

    What in the world is wrong with people nowadays? Lol, seriously i wonder how those words lead to ur blogsite.

    But then again, i won’t be so surprised. After all, i even have people approaching me asking if i am interested to put some ads on my site…

    guess what kinda ad? —fucking porn. lol… totally insane!

  2. shanks says:

    there is a script that disable search engine robots from crawling your site. if i m not mistaken, there is a keyword filter as well. i experienced the same thing as you did, but heck it cause it is actually quite entertaining to see what ppl are searching on the net. when i see an “outstanding” keyword, i sometimes check out which country they came from too. i get a lot of singaporeans googling for “free sex singapore”. all this people want to “do” but don’t wanna pay.

  3. Din says:

    Why so surprised shanks? Kiasuland citizens like that what……. heheheh

    Oh yeah and Mike, if its any comfort to you, i passed my medical (at clinic) and physco (family dicipline) tests….thus, I aint ‘sick’ dude….heheheh

  4. Jason says:

    I try searching googles with the keyword out of curiousity,dun have lah.:bpbp hopefuuly curiousity havent kills the cat

  5. michaelooi says:

    robin – Well, the rule’s simple. In my blog, I encourage people to present their opinions professionally … whether or not it’s legitimate/agreeable, that’s another matter.
    If I feel that there’s any particular commenter violated those set of rules (my rules), I bar them. I can do that coz I paid for every single word in this space.
    You lose all your rights in my space to play by my rules. I believe that goes the same to all the blog space out there.

    doc – i know what you meant. Our trollbuster team will be out of job soon. Coz trolls nowadays are all lame asses.

  6. michaelooi says:

    Jr. – ads sucks. we already have enough of those illegal pop ups advertising for porn, and it would be plain stupid to install them ourselves in our own site. Jr, don’t go for it.

    shanks – no lah. i’m not planning to disable the bots. If they’re stupid enough to end up at my site while searching for other stuffs, then they should be the one to try doing something about it.

    Din – and what exactly is “physco” ah ? heheh

    Jason – seriously dude, I don’t get your message. Are you telling me that you’re the one who did all the search ? eheh..

  7. robin says:

    It’s probably what they thought of your blog….no substance but just trash….however, it’s occasionally funny……

    Later dude….

  8. michaelooi says:

    robin – it entirely depends on how you perceive substance & trash… the “substance” you favor may be trash to others. Vice versa.

  9. robin says:

    Agreed…finally you are talking sense…..credit is given when it’s due….
    Like i said before, your blog is occasionally funny….whether it’s trash or not…..

  10. robin says:

    By the way, what the hell has happened to that newguy fellow ? Have you barred him/her from posting just because he expressed his opinions which I guess were not to your liking……..

    Likewise, your attempt to barred me was not appreciated either…hehehe…but I’m too obstinate…c’mon…life is too short to hold grudges…lighten up…I accept criticism (from you and your fellow “fans”) with a pinch of salt and a smirk….you’ll find life less stressful and fun that way…

    Later…

  11. doc says:

    There’s only one reason why the search engine direct those people to your blog – it thinks you have what they want. Ehehehehe!

  12. doc says:

    The comments in Michael’s blog used to be as fun as if not funnier than his articles… :(

  13. shanks says:

    doctor liew – yeah, i agree. now we keep getting mr and mrs goody-two-shoes commenting and asking michael to repent. unfortunately, the anonymity of the internet has allows them to keep coming back.

  14. robin says:

    Not going to bicker with you over such trivial issue…..but if you set rules to only read/write what you want to hear and say, alas, there is no longer freedom of speech…..no constructive comments….but hey, like what you said earlier, it’s your BLOG….your playhouse….

    I respect that but can’t help feeling that this blog could be so much more only if…….

    Anyway…..BLOG ON……

  15. michaelooi says:

    robin – Riiiiiiiiiiiggghhtt … *nods slowly*

  16. robin says:

    Tiiiuuuuuu!!!!

    Something i picked up……

    Kekekekeee

  17. Jason says:

    Haha..no no,i see u put up the keywords that could lead to ur blog mah,so curiousity strikes.I mah try typing one of the leyword in google,it didnt show ny result of michael ooi ah! hmmm….but then if those ppl really found ur blog thru those keyword..eeee….so sick lah!

  18. humphrey says:

    Mic, will u bared me from w riting anymore?maybe i write some thing not godd…
    Robin…now u sound better…..

  19. robin says:

    I always sound good…hehehe…just that our moderator here takes offence to some who voice out their comments which might antagonize him…..tiuuuuuu……can’t help it….picked up a bad..(oops!) good habit here…..kekeke…..

  20. michaelooi says:

    jason – i see… now that i understand a little bit.

    humphrey – as long as you do not flame the innocent, I won’t. X)

    robin – you mean, calling people ass wiper and shoe licker … is actually ‘good’ ?
    Riiiiiiiiiight…. *nods slowly*

  21. robin says:

    Well, it’s better than actually doing it…..kekeke

    Yeah, only bar the “daring” ones….keep the “innocent” ones…….guess that’s why they are called innocent….muahahaha

    Got to admit…is this as much fun to you as it is for me ??

  22. shanks says:

    jason – if you are that free to run the searches, then you should at least be smart enough to narrow them down to a domain. a simple search will give u an insanely long list, i’m not the least surprise if u actually miss it.

    since chinese new year is next week, i’ve decided to play nice and give u a little education. it is called the “advanced search”.

    tiong hee! tiong hee!

  23. k3ng says:

    the sweaty armpit thingy is gross.. ewww…

  24. dave says:

    Oi….this posting tussle between mike and robin is really good & funny …hopefully all done in good humour and no offence taken…keep it up guys !!!

  25. michaelooi says:

    robin – Fun ? Nope. This is not even 1% of the fun I had with one of the ‘retarted’ troll a while back.

    shanks – nooooo.. don’t teach him ! let the kid drown ! heheh

    k3ng – it depends lar, whose armpit is it. If it’s Catherine Zeta Jones’, I wouldn’t mind.

  26. robin says:

    Ah…dave,

    I got a “fan” too…..tiuuuuu. Though i do not intend to have a group of “ass-wipers” or “shoe lickers”, it’s refreshing to have some support…hehehe….

    Of course, no offence is taken…criticise me if you wish…just part of life….

  27. robin says:

    Oh c’mon, mikey…

    Don’t be a spoilsport….just a bit of fun…dunno abt the “retarded troll” but lighten up dude….

    P/s does this mean I’m a troll as well….duh?
    Kekekeke

  28. humphrey says:

    got some 1 who cant stop frm commenting or writing………hahahha
    mic yr words really power like SUP POWER in Kuching…it change certain plp lifes..i guess they should send in more mentally handicaped plp…so that u can help to make them better….Rite ROBIN BO HOOT…..hahahaah

  29. michaelooi says:

    robin – you know, it’s really lame to post under an “imaginary” character’s name to support your own course.
    and what more, to reply to your “imaginary” character yourself. *ooooh dave*

    I guess you’re qualified to be more than a troll. You’re an obstuse troll.

    guys, in case you didn’t realize that … robin posted under the name “dave” in hope to gain back that few notches in my respect book. Somebody please tell me, that wasn’t an asswiping/shoelicking action … I’d be damned !

  30. robin says:

    Mikey…that’s because you tried to bar me a couple of times before…just getting myself ready before you start barring the “trolls”….hehehe..

    Too senstive, my friend….tiuuuuu

  31. dave says:

    I’m been declared as robin’s “imaginary friend”.

    So, if robin is a troll, i’m his imaginary troll. kekekeke

  32. michaelooi says:

    robin/dave – ooh… no no no … don’t try to drift out of the topic here, lame-ass. If you can hold tight to your opinion, perhaps you may gain certain amount of respect from others.
    But when you post under another fictional character’s name to suit your course, that’s just plain shallow. (That’s how phantom voters work during an election).
    What more, so stupid to post it from the same computer… INTO MY OWN BLOG ! ROTFLOL …
    That’s like … triple boner in one go ! You’re worse than a retard !
    Just sod off, and call it a day.

  33. robin says:

    Dave, my “imaginary troll” pal is actually my colleague…guess mikey checked and found our postings seem to be coming from the same network….

    Oi..mikey our very own private investigator…..

    So smart but yet so sensitive….

  34. robin says:

    oi…mickey a bit agitated now…

    I’m not seeking any repsect from anyone…just having a bit of fun with your blog….no need to be so mad…sound like you’re turning into the HULK…..

    Man, relax…you live longer that way….

  35. michaelooi says:

    robin – not seeking “repsect” eh ? what’s that ? somekind of an insecticide ?

    being sensitive is a compliment actually … in case you didn’t know that. And right now, I’m not agitated or mad, but kinda excited – finally I have a troll worth pulverizing at.

    You know, it’s really fun to mock stupid and autistic people like you. Keep it up bebeh !

  36. dave says:

    I’m sorry for my retarted brother’s behaviour. I’ve always love him. He’s been one helluva cock sucker until recently that I can’t seem to get mine up anymore. He’s deprived. Please forgive robin.

  37. michaelooi says:

    and that … is the REAL dave. Hi dave.

  38. robin says:

    Tiiiuuuuuu!!!! Just that I accidentally pulled on your pubic hair the other day, doesn’t mean that you have to stop giving me protein!!!! Tiiiuuuuuu!!!! I want my protein now!!!! I suck!!!! I suck!!!! I want to suck!!!!

  39. Reta says:

    aiyer…weirdos like you michael.. =P

  40. michaelooi says:

    reta – everyone likes me ! jeles aa ? X)

  41. robin IP address : 219.95.166.62 says:

    I have been a total asshole.

    Making fun of people is my aim. I ‘m hideous and to cover my shortcomings, I have to resort to anger. Being ultra-sensitive, I have this uncanny habit of asking people to suck my cock.

    This is who I am. An asshole.

  42. robin IP address : 219.95.166.62 says:

    Sheesh, someone’s using my name but I am NOT an ASSHOLE….I am a FUCKING ASSHOLE.

  43. robin says:

    oh my dave, now i know dairhea water have lot of protein. i give u some dairhea pill u sit on my mouth for whole night?

  44. dav_e says:

    Sewer rat robin smoked right out from the hole!!!!

  45. michaelooi says:

    you know guys, I was trying to un-ban that fucker’s IP for 5 minutes … and see what happens.

    the suddenly.. WHAM ! 2 comments imitating my name (first one wrongly spelled). This is fucking hilarious.

    I put on the ban back up again.

    trollbusters : would you kindly check against the IP address I posted above ? heheh… this is gonna be fun.

  46. newguy says:

    What happened to you robin? Micheal sent a bot into your brain and making you do/post things against your will?
    Just checking to see whether I really had been banned.

  47. robin mya bapak says:

    Why u publich my son mya bird certificate nombor?

  48. humphrey says:

    u r ****……….

  49. METALRAGE says:

    the last one is HILARIOUS!

    now if only u can trace his IP and find out who’s behind it from the ISP.

  50. Din says:

    This is more exciting than a WWE match between triple H and The Rock man……

    tiuuuuuuuuuu…..

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