January 28, 2005

mock a gork

Went to our departmental dinner today. It was a barbecue dinner and I was enjoying myself barbecuing and cracking jokes with my colleagues… when one of the managers suddenly came over and abruptly interrupted my conversation :

“Mike, that’s your favorite food… right ? right ? right ? heheh…” while zealously pointing at one of the seafood on the barbecue stove.

I looked back at him with an emotionless expression. I just did not know how I wanted to respond to that blatant act of ingratiation. I don’t dig people boot licking me for any reason… and I so wanted to tell him to sod off… but that would make me sound so blunt and shallow. After a couple more of microseconds, I managed to work out an alternate respond which resulted pretty much the same way I wanted :

“Fuck no ! My favorite food is something that walks on 2 legs, long hair, big rack and with an awesome ass you dolt! Hahhhhaaaa !” I was gesticulating myself porking in doggy style while saying that… and the whole table turned to laugh at his face. And sure enough, he immediately went back to his table to hoover his cold leftovers. I would have added in a couple more of derogatory mocks if he didn’t leave us alone soon enough.

Don’t you hate it when someone shove into your conversation halfway to utter something of least importance? For fuck’s sake, what did those people actually learn in school? How to be an annoying asshole ?


michaelooi  | rantings  | 

33 Comments to “mock a gork”

  1. shanks says:

    i usually turn to the idiot and reply a long “riiiiight” while giving a slow nod.

    i then turn back to the people i’m talking to and roll my eyes.

    “now, where was i?”

  2. Buaya69 says:

    hmmm, so far no one’s dared do that to me yet! buaya bites hard… snap! snap!

  3. mctm says:

    love your entries!

  4. Jason says:

    “Yeah!Why?Anything wrong with that?”
    Turn back and continue with my stuff.:bpbpb

  5. uculer says:

    i can learn lots of tricks from u.thanks man!

  6. Jr. says:

    LOL, well there’s plenty of fuckheads like that around the world.

    I wonder why they need to do things like that…probably in need of attention from the rest of the group???

    Hmm, though there’s a remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder but i am not so sure for those who are Attention Craving Disorder….

  7. MunKit says:

    performance 100% but PR 0%.. sad case

  8. Din says:

    i would go “Soooo…?” or “ah-haaaa…aa..aaa”. At best I do an “ignorance is bliss”.

  9. michaelooi says:

    shanks – hahah… that’s kinda neat. will give it a try.

    buaya – you’re a real crocodile ?? i thought you’re those feeewwwwiiit at girls type of buaya.

    mctm – wait till you see the writer…

    jason – there’s nothing wrong apparently… that’s the problem. it’s just plain stupid for him to say that. *sigh

    uculer – welcome. send me a mail if you have any problems you need me to answer for.

    Jr. – I’ve been very rebellious and hard on him all these while… and it’s really difficult to get me do something for him. Perhaps he wanted to use the soft approach to improve the relationship.
    Tiu hoi lou mei ler ….

    munkit – who ? him ? me ?

    Din – that sounded kinda neat as well too. Will give it a try.

  10. humphrey says:

    ahahah..u should say ….am i?how come i never knew or realize that?hahhehehehe…so that he knew wht is manner…i think u gave him a gd lesson that he will nvr forget the rest of his life.

  11. newguy says:

    come on Micheal – thats a bit uncalled for i think. The poor guy was probably feeling a bit left out and lost and he was probably just trying to make friends. Not everyone is “King of the Party” like Micheal. Whats wrong with being a bit more friendly and inviting him into your conversation. Spread goodwill and good vibes instead of snappy comments. You probably hurt his feelings and he may lash out in road rage and spousal abuse and thats not good. I think you probably got hurt in this too. I think you felt bad inside for doing it and thats why you are airing this in public hoping your adoring fans will condone your behavoir. Dont get me wrong – I am your fan too but I just do not agree with your actions that day. The world is just too full of hate these days and if we can spread more love and goodwill. Step by step lets be kinder to everyone OK.

  12. auyongtc says:

    turns to newguy…. “Riiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhtttttt…” *nods slowly*

    turns back to the crowd… “geez, where was I?” *roll eyes*


  13. Din says:

    huh?! what kind of advice is that?! Hey new guy, you work in some gay consulting firm or what?

  14. MunKit says:

    And that guy, my friends, is our highest ranking manager in my team. ~~ this one as in 100%

    cucumber as the manager ~~ PR 0% :)

  15. MunKit says:

    haah funny.. cucumber has better PR than him :P

  16. Primrose says:

    newguy: You can’t even spell correctly, and you want to be LillianToo no.2 ah?

  17. Din says:

    Hahahah LilianToo no.2 Hahahahah good one Primrose.

  18. michaelooi says:

    cmon guys, one has the right to present his/her opinions lar … newguy’s just trying to present a point here.

    newguy – well, you have your point and I respect that. But if you’re saying I’m feeling guilty for doing that to him, you’re definitely wrong. If I can punch him in the face that night, I would have done it with no remorse. And I’m gonna grab his throat opening his mouth and spit inside somemore… but not without kicking him in his ribs and pile drive him by the edge of the sidewalk.
    Why the hatred ? You have no idea how this motherfucker ruined our shit. Let’s just say, a person wouldn’t end up in my hate list for no reason. So, if you don’t know nothing, don’t assume.
    And yeah, if you want to present a point, do it properly. Don’t be making statements about me beckoning my “adoring” fans and all that. I have no fans. They’re just blog readers like you. This isn’t a celebrity fan club. I encourage everyone who thinks I’m an asshole to sod off and fuck themselves. (hint: read disclaimer)
    Last but not least, please use your real nick next time. Hiding behind a nick isn’t really a cool thing to do.

    Alright ?

  19. michaelooi says:

    humphrey – this isn’t the first time I did that to him. In fact, everyone does that all the time. He’s just a plain abominable human … I plan to make him my hate idol … replacing the vacuum Rob has left.

    auyong / din / primrose – hahah.. you know i know what you mean… if you know what i mean .. *wink*

    munkit – damn, your comments are so … mysterious and hard to decipher. Are they somekind of code that I need to refer to some Japanese porn site ? If yes, kindly provide URL …

  20. einazani says:

    i ve benn reading too much of ur blog that i even dream abt u n ur wife. crazy…. heh.

  21. HolyCow says:

    Newguy: Only 1 word for u “Tiu”.

    I’m not a psychologist, but from your comment, I believe that you are person who share same charateristic as AcheAss. Won’t be surprise if u r AcheAss himself.

  22. Din says:

    OMG – einazani is spooky man…gives me the creeps….let alone Mike…

  23. einazani says:

    weii Din…. u better be careful with ur worrd… its not that kind of thinking, ok!! it just so happen this mike guy and his wife who on earth i dont know how they look like n lots of other ppl doing simple everyday, rutin like talking n eating in d dream. think so.. dont remember much of the dream.
    u guys ahhh… all pervert!! that is what happen when men hv 10 to 20 times more testosterone n larger hypothalamus than women..


  24. Din says:


    1. What thinking were you ASSUMING I had? Btw, i was thinking paranormal kinds of stuff….not kinky stuff which you obviously ASSUMED. Plus your elaboration doesn’t make sense…

    2. You confirmed you are spooky when you STEREOTYPED when u mentioned all guys are perverts.

    3. Your fact “…men hv 10 to 20 times more testosterone n larger hypothalamus than women..”
    has nothing to do with this discussion.

    4. Get a sense of humour la…

  25. Jasdev says:

    Its cool how Mikeman answers back, just like the recent convo with the BOE during lunch. Its snappy but its funny.

    I think Newguy deserves a break. He presented his comments, the why part and all without spouting obscenities at the least. It was fun reading the comments until it turned sour with the attacks:( To people out there, dont take things too personally aight,esp on the net.Cmon, group hug now everbody ehehe

    So this cucumber manager guy is like a geek?

  26. michaelooi says:

    eina – people dreamt of me all the time. It’s normal. Just hoover more vitamin C’s … and eat more cempedaks.

    holycow – you know, the word “tiu” should have it’s vowel dragged longer to have more distinctive effect. Like “Tiuuuuuuuuuu”

    din – ngorat ke ?

    jasdev – he isn’t the geek type. He’s the type who loves to mess up with your work and stuffs. It’s really hard to describe in words …

  27. Din says:

    Mike – damn you’re good….I wonder know you knew….heheheh

  28. lilian says:

    Hi Mike,
    *sigh* tiuuuuu all those who drop by and shit on other people’s blog and comment board with their head-in-the-air asshole ideals.

  29. HolyCow says:

    Just learnt how to handle the word “tiuuuuuuuuuu”.

  30. HolyCow says:

    Newguy reminds me of another jerk by the nick Jeffri. What the f@ck happened to “Jeffri the retard”? lol…

  31. michaelooi says:

    din – now only you know ? tiuuuuuuuu

    lilian – and that’s a perfect example on how to use the wonderful word as a transitive verb.

    holycow – i’ve banned him for good. but he probably adopted another nick … so …

  32. lin says:

    it’s a blessing i accidently found this blog. you made me looked at people at work as people and not by their title and be all freaked out when dealing with them. so, what if that person is a engineer/manager/director…they’re no better than me. (well, they do earn more than me..)

  33. hflee says:

    I thought… it’s a manager’s job to screw with everyone’s job. Ain’t that why managers are hired?!?

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