I was exchanging some messages with an online female friend when suddenly, I felt really hot and decided to take a shower. I sent her a “be right back” message telling her that I’m going for a shower.
Fast forward 10 minutes later, I was back online. My friend, surprised that I’m back from taking a shower sooner than she expected, threw me a question
“eh …u mandi kerbau kah ? so fast ?”
Now, let’s stop for a moment here. What do you think should be the appropriate length of time for a guy to complete his shower ? For me, obviously, 10 minutes is all it takes to get the whole operation done. Here’s the breakdown
taking off my clothes
— less than 5 seconds (it’s inherent in our guy chromosomes to be able to take off our clothes in haste)
splash of water (I actually use a scoop instead of shower)
— less than 5 seconds
shampooing
— not more than 20 seconds. (Come on, just squeeze a handfull of shampoo on your palm and lather. That’s not gonna take very long.)
conditioning
— 0 seconds. What conditioning ? Can eat aa ? (real men do not condition their hair …)
body washing (including face and teeth)
— not more than 2 minutes.
rinsing off
— less than 2 minutes. Just scoops of water from the head down.
drying up
— not more than 1 minute. Towel dry. Real men don’t dry their hair (esp with a hairdryer)…
dressing up
— 20 seconds the most. Just an underwear, a bermuda and a T-shirt. And sometimes when I wanted to get comfortable, minus the underwear.
Added up together would still take me less than 6 minutes. With some tolerance factor added in, offset another 2 minutes (that’s for pausing in front of the mirror looking for ripened hickeys, excavating boogers, flossing and other miscellaneous co-curricular activities)
That works out the 10 minutes shower. If there’s any reason for a guy to stay longer than 10 minutes in a shower — it would be that he’s actually choking his chicken inside (tar fei kei).
Used to take short time bath but now my time increases. Cant help it with longer hair. Only once that I stayed in bathtub for hours…was sleeping inside. It’s a miracle that I didnt drown inside.
5 minutes if i’m late for class. washing my face, brushing teeth, shower gel all in the shower.
it’ll take longer if i dun have class.
Here’s what fish fish observed for the Japanese ladies taking bath. (Half of them).
1. Take off cloth. 1 min.
2. Measure weight. Repeat for 3 times, make sure the weighing machine no ’shot’. 30 sec.
3. Taking a bath throughly.
Wash hair. 10 min.
Wash face. 5 min.
Wash body using gel first, then foam bath. All must with a body towel rubbing here here, there there. 15 min.
Brush teeth. 2 min.
Shave legs and armpits. 2 min.
4. Go to soak inside ofuro. 10 min.
5. Shock in 4 degree cold water. 30 seconds.
6. Repeat steps 2 & 3 2 more times.
7. Start to clean up body for final time. 3 min.
8. Dry up body. 2 min.
9. It she has big boobs, will do massage on boobs in front of the mirror. 5 min.
10. Dry hair. 15min.
11. Wear cloth. 2 min.
12. Make up. 10-20min. Depending what kind of make up.
13. Ready for a dating.
Fish Fish finish everything in 10min without hair washing. When need to wash hair, take 1hr. Kekeke…
oooooo… japanese girl. if i were to bathe her, it will take hours and hours and hours …
boob kneading/massage alone would take me at least 30 minutes per boob..
oooooooo….
ooooooooo…japanese girls…..oooooo….droooool…..
hours and hours? 30min per boob??
you milking a japanese cow ah?
;D
micheal: I remembered as a kid I used to think I had a swimming pool. It was black, squarish and deep. It was actually the water tank up the roof wan. heh… you’ve been watching one too many Psycho films eh..
cyber-red - that’s not psychotic, ok ? give a nekkid japanese girl to any guy in a toilet, and they’ll do the same thing. Dun believe me ? ask the guys lor …
guys, i need your input please …
haha nice one…have always wondered how my guy frens could have it all done in less than 10 mins!! hehe for me, every part of the bathin art must have its second round…heehee i’m weird, i know..
shower alone = 5 to 10 mins…
shower with a girl = 45 mins to, uhm, erm, err, lost count liao… *paiseh*
Give me Momoko Kikuchi (the 10 years back version lar) and I’ll shower till my skin drops off.
Me? If given the chance? Obviously will help nekkid jap girl cleanse herself throughly.
Re : real man don’t condition hair or blow dry hair ? real man not much hair issit ?
dun choke chicken.. say lar make hand shandy..
Kekeke… what a feed back. Hey, I’m curious to know how guys look like in ofuro. Heard my fren said guys’ closest brothers can stand up easily one even when in ofuro. Geee… Is it true?
hmmm,
10 minit kira lambat.
Pagi-pagi waktu bujang kalau lambat bangun lagi cepat mandi.
Duduk bawah shower, tangan kanan gosok gigi, tangan kiri sabun badan + kencing.
Habis kencing + habis gosok gigi serentak kira habis mandi.
Mana ada orang kencing boleh sampai 1 minit.
cepat eh??
wajamie - not much hair ? wait till you see my friend desmo’s chest … and he ain’t a real man yet.
fish fish - it depends. if I were to be in an ofuro with someone like … Ayumi Kawashima (a famous porn star), not only it would ’stand up’. It’s gonna jump bebeh. But if I’m in an ofuro with someone like … say… an 80 years old granny… god … my weeny’s gonna pass out.
apomputeh (short form) - masa untuk kencing mengalir dari pundi ke orifis kepala kombat I … mengambil masa yang lama kerana burung saya panjang (omputeh jeles).
mike: just admit it la..your fear factor is the BATHTUB * tink tink tink tink* *Psycho soundtrack played in the background*
eh bathtub can be a veryyy seductive area ah…and not inclu. nekkid jap women with the package..=P
Fish fish..!! you are so funny..!!
cyber-red - my fear factor is the bathtub ? yeah, when it comes to cleaning it. can be scary … i hate cleaning bathtubs … ughh
well, dude i’m glad you were very detailed bout our showering…coz its true, i don’t see any reason to stay a bit longer. in my case i can throw in a shave as well..but i’ll need a minute more coz i have long hair but then all in all the other guys who stay in the shower any longer, now we all can imagine what they are doing? well, i will if there is a chick with me, then i’ll probably have sex.. and if there’s a bath tub and a chick i’ll still have sex…