January 15, 2005

what is kiwi ?

It’s Rod again. Rod is a smart guy, but he has got this irregular ‘blurness’ syndrome that would sometimes hit him all of a sudden. I’m fortunate enough to have encountered it once… But last Friday, I can be considered ‘too lucky’ to have encountered it again.

My colleagues and I were discussing about fruits at that time, about my instinctive disfavor of melons and anything that resembled its texture – mushy and seedy like that (except tomatoes). That was when someone brought up the name – Kiwi fruit. (If you don’t know what’s a Kiwi fruit, go find yourself a toilet bowl, put your head into it, and flush).

Well, it was all healthy Kiwi discussion when suddenly, Rod came up with a question that pretty much stunned everyone

Rod : “Just curious, is Kiwi grown from some kind of plant or tree?”

There was a moment of silence there. Then I answered him,

Me : “Nooooo duuuuuude. Kiwi is actually a kind of dog’s scrotum. They’re harvested from the animal’s crotch and people just eat it as a fruit. Did you notice its hairy skin and all that? That’s dog hair…”

Rod : [blushes]

Me : “It’s a FRUIT, man. Where the fuck else do you think it could have grown from??”

Rod had certainly added something valuable into his cache of general knowledge that day.

michaelooi  | characters  | 

9 Comments to “what is kiwi ?”

  1. primroses says:

    *giggle* Yes, yes! Green signifies bountiful! The black seeds nourishes your own seeds.

  2. jand says:

    Rod does have a valid question there


    For example, water melons are fruits from a plant, not tree.

    Perhaps his question was misunderstood.

  3. michaelooi says:

    primroses – green signifies fertility i guess…

    jand – i translated it from hokkien. He quoted “chang” – which means, some plants. But “chang” in hokkien includes trees, but “plant” in English does not. Hence, I substituted it as “plant or tree”. Blame it on my poor command of English.

  4. fish fish says:

    Kiwi fruit is a fruit… But Kiwi is a bird ler… Kekeke…

  5. michaelooi says:

    fish fish – yeah, but when you speak it in some dialect, you would just call it ‘kiwi’.

  6. k3ng says:

    kiwi also means new zealanders… hahahaha

  7. grumpy says:

    i so totally agree with you on everything in your blog.. the world is full of irritating ppl.. who asks the most inane questions there are.. and comes up with the stupidest remarks ever.. have perservance… and faith that something is goin to exterminate them… soon… hopefully…

    and to those ppl who bombast you with hate mails regarding your blog… dont just fucking read it if you get so offended by it.. sheesh.. its not like someone is taking a gun and pointing it at you to read every single word that is posted here right?? S H E E S H !!!!!!! duh!!!

  8. michaelooi says:

    grumpy – hate mails ? i never received any hate mails before… only stupid comments by fart heads that doesn’t think.

    are you sure you’re in the right blog ?

  9. MrsT says:

    Kekekek!! so funny..! and yes.. i’m a easily amused woman.. :P

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