What will happen when a girl got knocked up ?
- She’ll start to bloat. Her weight will increase exponentially in a short period of time, and in matter of months, she will attain the size of Barney the purple dinosaur, or a Bengal tiger, or whichever bigger.
- Her face will start to change. Her nose, along with the rest of her facial features, would swell up till it won’t fit a motorcycle helmet, and would petrify whoever that has the gumption to look at her.
- She will have unstable mood swings due to raging hormones. She would get finicky over small matters and would not hesitate to crash furnitures on anyone’s head if she doesn’t feel appeased about anything they do. At all.
- She loses the sanity to make proper judgement. Like judging whether it is more appropriate to get the husband buy her some beef soup cooked from a homosexual cow, or, dumplings made from the game of an arctic fox.
- Her pair of tits will tumefy into the size that’s big enough to block an entire 34 inch television, or huge enough to choke an adult alligator. Whichever that expresses the situation more articulately.
- Her tastebuds will undergo a major tilt of scale towards the bitter side, and hence, everything she eats will taste like bile. And that’s when the husband would be made responsible for her supply of dehydrated prunes, sour plums and pickles alike … to keep her content and all that.
I’m sure there are a lot more.
Scary isn’t it ? Why can’t we human just lay an egg like chickens do, and let the kid incubate inside … ? That way, the wife doesn’t have to go through such a painful period of disorderly condition, and still get to enjoy sex at the same time.
Would appreciate all help in the form of monetary gifts or practical advices.
Everyone’s different. My younger brother’s wife so Guai… didn’t has all those syndromes. She ate everything. Hmmm… Heh, u want to go inside to see the baby born or not?
ahmog - thanks for reminding. *groan*
Jr. - damn, that’s kinda like a close call for you isn’t it ?
k3ng - joys of parenting ? reminiscing my obnoxious prepusbescent years, I don’t remember my mom having a lot of fun taking care of me… So, I kinda expected it to be … difficult.
fish fish - Well, I don’t think I would want to witness the birth of my kid. I just do not have the stomach for it. But then, I would love to be the first to spank the baby’s ass … ahahks …
You never got the chance. Kyak kyak… The doc owez got the priority. My fren told me after he watched the baby born… his one cannot ’stand’ for a couple months. Too scary scene for him. Geeee…
better get her to take amino acid tablet
chief - i thought it’s frolic … i mean .. folic acid ? ?
I’ve not experienced it at all, but I’ve seen what advice do to some of my friends. Don’t eat this, but eat that. Don’t do this, but do that. I hope you won’t have to suffer from information overload. Heh.
Michael, your list is just scratching on the surface. *muahahahaha* Plenty more for you to find out in the coming 245 weeks (assuming now 5 weeks, 35 more weeks to go).
lilian - ish … you’re scaring me already.
It is good that you at least know all this, so be more prepare, unlike some dad-to-be totally knocked out by all the things you list, like MCAP.
My heart bleeds for you…
eh. I’m not knocked up, but I totally feel bloated. like carryign 2 month old baby. so how now.