January 10, 2005

tidbits

Panda wanted to look for my senior, Kermit, at our lab. Instead of knocking, she was like standing outside the lab door, quietly. I don’t know what was she expecting but, somehow, it must be something supernatural … something like … the locked door would open by itself ? Or perhaps an out-of-body phenomenon that enables her to slide through the door and unlock it from inside …

I didn’t realize that until I went out to meet someone up and saw her stood like a stump right outside the doorstep.

“What are you doing here?”
“Err…I want look Vincent”
“Well then … what are you waiting for ? the door is already open, right ?”
[she walks in]
[smacks head]

I don’t know how long she had been standing outside the lab but, I’m pretty sure she would have remained dormant for the whole day if nobody actually discovered her. Somebody kill me please.

*****

I was walking with my colleagues towards my car for lunch. We were chatting about some girls when suddenly, a car came reversing out from its lot, towards our direction. A brief glimpse of the driver revealed a young lady, who was raucously chatting with her female friends inside.

Her car kept going astern towards us, despite her wailing reverse sensor alarm (we could even hear it from outside ourselves). That was when I decided to do what those ladies always do during emergencies – I deliberately let out a blood curdling scream with a shrill falsetto voice – ARRRRRHHHHHHHHHH~~~ ! (loud enough to echo across half the carpark).

It worked. The lady got panicked and pulled an emergency brake. She was last seen in a dumbfucked expression.

Screaming actually works. We’ve misunderstood the female species for centuries.

*****

Overheard from the guys that there weren’t much animals killed during the tsunami disaster… only humans. According to rumors, those animals actually hid themselves before the disaster, and escaped death. They sort of had some kind of premonition that the giant waves were heading their way, and bailed to somewhere safe.

Not sure if it was true but, if it is, then screw those tsunami warning system! Just set up more farms and chicken coops along the coastline… and place an assload of cameras to monitor their behavior twenty four seven. If those animals suddenly start some kind of rebellion, prison riot or stirring up a whole fucking load of ruckus, then we know, something bad is gonna happen and that would buy us humans enough time to back up our porns/blogs/mp3’s from our PC and flee.

But then, I doubt that the news has any logic in it. If animals have the ability to predict something bad in future, then somebody please explain, why are we seeing dead cats/dogs/rats on the road everyday…

michaelooi  | ramblings  | 

13 Comments to “tidbits”

  1. andycjw says:

    i’d say most animals survived probably because they lived inland, inside the forest. And the other reason I could think of it’s because of their sensitive hearing, many animals can hear sound of very low frequency, and with quake that strong, the low frequency sound probably sound very loud to these animal, just my speculation

  2. primroses says:

    On Panda – maybe she was peeping at you [..??]
    On the lady – I’m surprised she didn’t mistake the accelerator for the brakes. [..heh!]
    On the animals – heh, heh! Like your generalisations.

  3. Din says:

    On Panda – You know Mike, the new trainee in my office is getting dumber by the day. Maybe she’s a relative.

    On the lady – Stepping on brakes is quicker than pulling handbrake. What a moron. No offense to ladies, but some women just can’t drive. (Many personal experiences).

    On the animals – Predictability, maybe its restricted to just chickens?

  4. michaelooi says:

    andy – low frequency ? like when i belch, the animals would actually take notice of me ? i gotta try that someday inside a zoo or something. wait… i suppose to hate zoos…

    primroses
    – panda is not peeping at me… she’s staring into blank space ler ..
    – if she stepped on the accelerator, this blog will be on hiatus for a looooong loooong time.
    – i can be smart at times… and that’s when people like me.

    din
    – probably they descended from the same species of ape.
    – “pulled an emergency brake” means carry the action of braking suddenly … doesn’t mean she pulls a hand brake lah. Btw, a hand brake is actually called “parking brake”.
    – last i heard, some elephants knew about it and went to the forest to hang out. They survived the japanese food disaster.

  5. Din says:

    I don’t really “use” the parking brake for parking if you know what I mean….heheh

  6. humphrey says:

    But then, I doubt that the news has any logic in it. If animals have the ability to predict something bad in future, then somebody please explain, why are we seeing dead cats/dogs/rats on the road everyday…

    posted by michaelooi : 09:34 PM |

    animal is sensitive to a very very low frequency….sound..every dumb man in this world knew that i guess…..
    and a lot of dogs/cata die on the road everyday is because of HUMAN……some people drive the car like they are heading towards HELL……come on such small creatures, and u dont have sympathy?I curse those who have hit the dog and the cat, that if they will be reincarnate again in future, they will be the cat and dog…and will be hit by other people…

  7. michaelooi says:

    humphrey – what i posted are merely no-brainer methaphorical expressions. Something not to be taken seriously. You’re a regular here and I’m pretty sure you’re witty enough to tell the difference. Even the dumbest blog reader knows that.

    To challenge your facts, well… not all animals die because of reckless driving/riding. it’s just a bad combination of modernisation versus unintelligent critters… accident do happens.

    eg:
    many years ago, i was strolling real nice and slow on my motorcycle and my whole bike suddenly hit something and I crashed landed…

    i was clueless until a passerby told me
    “it’s a frigging cat”
    “where’s the frigging cat ???”
    “it fled.”

    the cat just stormed across the road and i don’t even know it.

    I guess you’ll have to think a lot before simply jump into conclusion cursing someone.

    *but then, I don’t fucking mind hitting a dog/cat if it means saving myself or my family/friends. I ain’t gonna drive my car into a wall/over a cliff just because i have sympathies for animals.

  8. michaelooi says:

    orila – thanks for sharing. so… it’s logic after all… that means, my idea should work… hmmmm …

  9. Din says:

    Hmmm, looks like even THINKING is hard for certain in-duh-viduals…. haih…

  10. humphrey says:

    ok ok. maybe i take it seriously man. im sorry….i dont mean to hurting anyone or wht…..
    Thousand apologies

  11. primroses says:

    “Ack-cidents doo ap’pen” – Phantom of the Opera, the movie.

  12. michaelooi says:

    humphrey – it’s alright, don’t have to apologize. it’s just a debate/discussion.

    primroses – now, phantom of the opera is the type of movie i wouldn’t want to watch …

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