January 5, 2005

tidbits

*I’m tired and exhausted. Don’t even have the energy to scratch my balls (trust me, all guys scratches their balls, it’s not disgusting)…

****

I messaged the word ‘fuck’ to my ex-gf today, and she replied with an exclamation why would I say such a nasty word to her (she actually quoted the word ‘scold’). This was the first time (in 15 years) she heard me utter that word.

How bizarre. Now, what’s so wrong with that word ?

****

I was at the ward the other day, when a bassy male voice quipped from the other side of the curtain about some tsunami shit. Then a female voice (housewife I reckoned) replied … “Is that some kind of Japanese raw fish?”

I almost died suppressing myself from laughing. (no offense to the tsunami victims though)

****

A colleague told me this morning that Arabian blokes would get sexually aroused when they see hairs… and that’s the reason why Arabian girls wear the burkhas.

I then challenged him – if what he said is true, then why don’t we see the Arabs mating with monkeys?

The colleague retorted that’s because there aren’t any monkey in deserts.

I then told him – ‘explain camels’. He went quiet after that.

michaelooi  | ramblings  | 

15 Comments to “tidbits”

  1. Primrose says:

    The one on Arabians is funny. Talking about tsunami, my friend thought that his tv was conked yesterday when there wasn’t volume even after he turned it to maximum. People were observing 3 mins of silence.

  2. ashotiwoth says:

    Mike Ooi wrote :
    Then a female voice (housewife I reckoned) replied … “Is that some kind of Japanese raw fish ?”

    Anand adds :
    “mmm… yeah, the one u eat with a lot of Suzuki, and dipped in some Honda, and it goes best with Toyota drink”

  3. oliviasy says:

    1) y u msg yr ex?
    2) to the hsewife: go to the toilet, put yr head inside & flush
    3) i heard when arab men goes into planes, they take off their head scarfs and act very rude and rowdy & start molesting air stewardesses

  4. ACMI says:

    Yeah, why did you msg your ex? Do you still have feelings for her, huh?

  5. ShaolinTiger says:

    Dude it’s all about the camels. Do you know why Camels are called ships of the desert?

    Because they are full of Arabian Se(a)men!!

    Bwahahahha

  6. michaelooi says:

    primrose – yeah, i saw that too. i wondered if the 3 minutes of silence would actually do anything good…

    asho – actually it goes better with Mitsubishi. ahaks.

    ST – yeah, i would have suspected the camels. I mean, if there’s any intention to practice bestiality there, is there any other choice ? Just camels.

    olivia/ACMI – I messaged my ex coz she messaged me…

    *reenacted based on my memory, may not be entirely correct… but they’re of the same meaning anyway

    ex : “hey, when will you be free to yumchar ? always busy…”

    me : “fuck lar. when i messaged you, you didn’t reply.”

    that’s how the whole thing started.

  7. humphrey says:

    we cant blame mic..he just responding to his X….its a normal way to respond…..

  8. coolclare says:

    but why u msg ur x in first place which she didn’t replied?? :p

  9. michaelooi says:

    wah lau .. u guys … tiu kau lei ah … interrogate me ah ??

    She asked me to call her when I’m free… ok ? One night, I got lonely and horny, so I messaged her to ask her out … which, she did not reply. I ended up jacking off .. happy ??

    All of the above are true except the horny/jacking off part …

  10. tjy says:

    guys, read carefully on the sms’s… michael was actually explaining to his ex what he’s busy with.

    he said: “fuck lar”

    hehe… no offence, just kidding, ok?

    anyway, the scratching balls part… couldn’t agree more, true enough, all men scratches their balls… even i myself couldn’t explain why i scratch them… to make sure they’re there, safe and sound???

  11. elphinstone says:

    I always have the impression that arabian men are very hairy… hmmm.. wonder if they get turned on by looking at their chest hair?

  12. humphrey says:

    Mic is saying everythings true except for the horny and jacking off…..part…i guess whther they end up on the bed or….Mic do the blow job………heheh
    kidding. sorry if its hurt man

  13. michaelooi says:

    *sigh* … when a guy and a girl is together, it doesn’t mean that they’ll always end up having sex …or practicing fellatio on each other… ok ?

    It can sometimes be less than that…(squeezing tits, play blindman, etc.)

    Alright, i got to stop kidding …some of you guys are already taking it seriously ..

  14. Tutu says:

    Any night, you get lonely and horny, you message me to ask me out ma …

  15. nuTs says:

    hhahahaha….d arabian/monkey/camel story is simple superB! laughed till my tummy ached … hahhaha hhahahaha….d arabian/monkey/camel story is simple superB! laughed till my tummy ached … hahhaha

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