December 29, 2004

psst psst

Wilson and I were walking along Jalan Sultan Ismail (in front of Beach Club)… when suddenly, a fat middle aged guy (with a counterfeit Crocodile t-shirt and flip flops) came forward and lolled himself against a lamp post nearby. Let’s call him ‘feilou’.

Feilou : “Psst psst.”

Wilson and I precariously looked at the fat guy

Feilou : “Psst psst.”

Wilson : [ignores the guy and trying to walk away]

Me : [no idea who is that fat guy and also trying to walk away]

Feilou : “Psst psst.” [tags along beside me]

Me : [Feeling real uncomfortable] “Errr… yes?”

Feilou : “You want something tonight?”

Me : “Want what?” [confused]

Wilson gave me a nudge as a gesture to ignore him.

Feilou : “You know… that kind of ‘stuff’?”

Me : “What stuff?” [even more confused]

Feilou : “Aiyaah… you know…”

Me : “I don’t get it…”

Feilou “[cough]… girls… [cough]”

Me : “OOoooooooh… prostitutes! No thanks!” [smiles]

And both of us hopped to the opposite side of street before laughing out loud.

In case you don’t get it, that fat guy was actually a pimp. But he looked more like a sugarcane juice seller to me…

Aren’t pimps suppose to be glamorous and “yeah” type of people? Then why am I seeing a sugarcane seller pimping by the roadside?

Goddamn, anyone can basically be a pimp now. Blame it on the ever ‘deteriorating’ economy.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

14 Comments to “psst psst”

  1. JxT2J says:

    I encountered one at Jalan Sultan Ismail weeks ago. He grabbed my arm hard, I was about to break his neck. When I refused for the service, he gave me a strange look.

    Another one in South Korea. He asks “Where are you from ?” I said Malaysia. His next question is a little strange “Do you like spice ?”. My father and I couldn’t stop laughing at him. But at least he was wearing a suit with a tie, unlike their Malaysian counterparts.

  2. uculer says:

    if they look like sugarcane sellers, god knows how his chicks gonna look like.

  3. Actually hes chicks wouldnt look too bad id reckon. for a coffeeshop patron who wears a tat seng pvc flip flop and a singlet that looks like 1952.

    but the best line so far i got, or the freakiest, was the one near the park at my place. he just said

    “eh budak mau hisap ah”

    if i was older back then id beat him to pulp fiction.

  4. elphinstone says:

    LOL.. i still think that being approached by a “mama-san” is more geli…

  5. dave says:

    Possibly, he was just taking advantage of the cheapest mean of advertising…..by potraying as a sugarcane seller, it might project the image that his girls were sweet, slim and juuuicy….kekekeh

  6. michaelooi says:

    jxt2j – korean chicks are hawwwtt… you should’ve at least ask the price.

    uculer – now, i wouldn’t want to do that. it attracts a lot of attention from the clubs nearby.

    jasdev – hisap ? the guy’s pimping for fellatios ?

    elphine – i’ve approached by a mamasan in Thailand before. She asked me
    “Ah hia, ai char bor boh ?” [dude, you want girls?]
    and when i answered no, she would say
    “Mai char bor ? tui hotel pak pow aa ?” [no ? then what you’re gonna do back at hotel ? wank ?]
    heheh.

    dave – yeah, and green in color. I’d rather fuck a toad.

  7. primroses says:

    Aik! Image change kah? I thought they would have rings and that sort of bling bling on all fingers, sunglasses at night, hard gelled hair (or was that too much oil) and usually found driving the “kai-che” (cantonese for pimp car) with his “kais” in there.

  8. bravingkl says:

    How to handle persistent pimps:

    Pimp: “fancy having a girl tonight?”

    YOU: “erm, are you for sale instead?”

    (works better with accompanying lotus fingers, eyes blinking at blinding speed, hands stretching forward as though assessing the physique of the pimp.)

  9. shanks says:

    i didn’t know jalan sultan ismail’s pimp was so low standard. the pimps in sunway pyramid drives his flock around in a frigging bmw 3 series

  10. primroses says:

    Shanks – Ah huh *nods* with tinted windows and a modified exhaust.

  11. humphrey says:

    man…thats really funny….i was once during my university life, i visit kl with my coursemate….and we went to this Chee Chiong Kai(petaling Street)..the PIMP ask me u mahu ayam?i say no…then i told my fren abt it..they told me…when he asked me mahu ayam?i should answer him…like this. U ada ayam apa?ayam goreng, ayam rebus, ayam kukus….so next time when they asked u mahu ayam..u tell him u want ayam goreng ala KFC or ayam rebus…

  12. Din says:

    When I was 11 and horny, I would go take a peek at the “Hair Dressers” at Jalan Wong Ah Fook in JB. The damn thing was there was a 50 something frail dark Chinese guy gesturing me while I was ogling at some nice legs from the bottom of a staircase, ” You mau ah?” Then he fingered my crotch area as a sign I was willing. Asshole,…. he spoilt my horny moment…

    I never went back there again after that, ….coz I discovered porn….

  13. michaelooi says:

    primroses/shanks – nope. just stroll along Jalan Sultan Ismail … you’ll see a few middle aged bloke hanging outside Beach Club. They’re pimps. They bill people for sex and dick sucking service. And their dress code is sugarcane juice seller.

    bravingkl – that’s dangerous. what if the pimp say yes ? people would do anything for money i tell you.

    humphrey – ayam tandoori with naan … *drool*

    din – and you didn’t know how to wank ? no shit.

    hanyi – yao pu yao ciao chi …. ? hahah .. fuck .. my mandarin sux.

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