fengshui fever
Lilian Too is driving my mom crazy ! Well, actually, not Lilian alone but, the whole bevy of self-proclaimed fengshui dunces that publishes their smartass advices online. For free. Emily played a part too, she printed a stack of those materials for my mom … and my mom has since gone cracked.
Thanks to those divine fengshui advices, my mom’s now not acting so normal. She would walk around the house with a compass, and would speak to herself (that’s damn creepy I tell you). Then occasionally, she would give out a blood curdling yelp, that some piece of furniture shouldn’t belong to some place, or some table is at the wrong angle.
As if it’s not bad enough having a geriatric walking around mumbling by herself, I was constantly being badgered for not complying with their set of so called ‘prohibited acts’. I couldn’t recall what they are but, it’s kinda like requiring me to sleep with my head facing north, my left leg pointing north west, my right hand pointing south, my right leg pointing north east… my left hand grabbing my own crotch and yell “Teeeheehee … owh” every 10 minutes. Or just simply, to sleep in a position that requires an intermediate level of yoga skills.
Supposedly, sleeping like this will bring me better luck and prospect for my career …(that is, if I didn’t suffer major bone dislocation and loses my job). Of course I protested … and after debated for a while, they managed to come up with some remedy/solution. To place a bronze tortoise with a head of …. some really weird looking horse with beard and horns …. wait, that’s a dragon … on the small table inside my room. What the fuck !
I told my mom - if fengshui can bring luck and fortune by just complying a set of procedure, then there wouldn’t be so much suffering and pestilence on this planet. But she would always retort back “What’s the harm of believing in them ?”
The harm ? To waste our money buying those weird and expensive fengshui paraphernalia …. making fengshui masters richer and richer.
Denizens of Earth, if you want to void yourself from suffering/poverty, the best thing is to work hard. Plan your budget. And use your brain.
Somebody please stop the madness already.
*update. Here’s some of the stuffs lying around my house. Taken right after I posted this entry.
its just a business… feng shui ppl making money off stupid ppl… can’t be helped… hehehe… if u cant beat em, join em. so lets all go and be feng shui masters. or create the opposite end - shui feng. can give bad luck to other ppl. hahahaha
Lilian’s not a fengshui master, she’s just a salesperson… ^_^
Pray that your house (and gosh! bedroom) won’t be filled with fortune cats and frogs, tiger paintings, lucky coins, etc etc.
Ask your mom to give you the money so that you can buy such things yourself. Hehe.
Actually, the proper fengshui is based on working with what you already have rather than adding extras like 8-guas and all that jazz. Main thing is to be confortable in your room but a lot of people don’t know about that.
k3ng - not stupid people lar … just some people who utterly believes in them.
auyong - yeah. i heard she’s making about 70k per month.
iblogme - too late. see pictures.
kim - when i’m comfortable in my own room, it’s usually inhabitable. ahaks. (messy)
the two pictures on the far left and far right look rather grosteque. i m guessing, and hoping, they are rather small table-size ornaments. if those two were the size of a dog, sipe sien man!
oh, and i really like the similar colour tones of all the five pictures. so i was wondering if
a) you’re that good a photographer
b) you photoshoped those photos
or the most unlikely, or maybe not
c) your house is yellow-lighted all over
my sister got her name changed, bought a si-bei big crystal mountain put in the room after consult a fengsui sifu three year ago, she mah still si-bei pok-kai in her business. if fengsui really can work tht well, the world got no war lor, everybody in peace lor, siao!
i won’t be sleeping in any house or room with those dragons, tortoises, turtles lions or sea lions. gosh! i don’t want even want to sleep in a room filled with 2-d posters! 3-d things, a big NO NO.
if anybody say and places these things in my rooms, i may need to find a good feng shui to chase away my fear.
see..again it’s money.
That bitch Lilian Too is coming up to Genting, the admission ticket to watch her bullshit costs more thana concert! Argh! The Bitch!
many fengshui masters sell a hope … and many people buy em because maybe that’s the only hope they have of changing their life or destiny. it is not a matter of right or wrong … fact or fiction … it is a matter of option … a matter of choice. me? i believe in God and myself … so, “if it is gonna be, it is up to me … fengshui or not” and “i always do my best … because I know God will do the rest … and that’s all that matters.”
if your mom wants to go to kl on Jan 9.
most probably it’s because of feng shui then.
my parents also got items pic 1 and 5 in the house, and they always warn me not to move them.
blah blah blah
shanks - pic 1 is actually a ‘pei yau’. A buttless mythical half dragon/half lion (about the size of a small dog’s dick) that was believed to be able to ‘retain’ fortune and luck. Second pic is a beautiful urn stuffed with coins.
as for the photos, they’re not photoshopped. Merely crop them and place in the same file. Lighting in my house is “yellow lighted” all over. Fluorescent lights makes me feel bad.
twinsmom - yeah, that name change thing is damn common among the believers. Ridiculous.
uculer - none of these mythical creature are actually in my room. Unless of course one considers my wife as one. Ahaks.
din - that’s why she’s getting richer and fatter.
hanyi - at least your god doesn’t ask you to change your sleeping position, name and furniture layouts, you see ?
sweelin - hmmmmm… perhaps I should introduce mom Barney. Ask her to believe in Barney.
pfftttt
told ya! Lilian too is a bitch! period!
frangipanix - being a successful businesswoman doesn’t make her a bitch. be considerate. Have we learnt nothing from Jesus’ teachings?
lilian too ain’t a bitch, just a fat saleswoman with ahlian hair colour and horribly gone wrong makeup
basic fengshui is ok, just don’t go overboard lar. putting those bronze elements won’t guarantee anything. in fact, if a house is kept neat & tidy, no clutter semua, of cos u’ll feel nicer & better lar. logical thinking wat.
if she’s really that good at feng shui, she would have done something to improve her love life!
if fengshui can improve HER love life ….
there’ll be a lot of hippos marrying human liao …..
The meticulous positioning of entry points and angle of attack might have turned a lot of people away…
Too bad shanks… looks like you’re ignored here. Try asking those questions again. After a few times, he might notice you
sorry, but that was NOT by me (but by someone who used to be in the same house as you were last time shanks). He doesn’t know how to read comments. Sorry for the misuse of the comments section.
Merry Christmas Mike!
Fengsui craze..!!!! @!@ Evrybody is talking about it.I wonder ..My creator..Made my Entrance and Exit next to each other.MY mouth inline with my…!!!!LOL!!!!~@wink! Liliantooes..OPPs wrong spelling/Bad feng..sui!! Dont be sandwich in the two mountain..Oh LOrd!! Thats the best one!!
I trust my God as its perfect…OH…Please use your imagination!!
Bye!!Guys..
arabianbarbie