December 7, 2004

cultural clash

I had this conversation with Keith inside my car, on our way home from work…

Keith : “You don’t have titty bars here, do you?”

Me : “Titty bars are illegal here.”

Keith : “Serious?”

Me : “Yes. We don’t have strippers club nor any titty bars here. Hell, even tits and kisses are censored on tv…”

Keith : “Damn, what’s legal here then?”

Me : “Whatever… but our country’s peaceful. We don’t have tornadoes, blizzards nor any motherfucking scary stuff here”

Keith : “Not even typhoon?”

Me : “Nope. It is summer all year long, save for a couple months of really shitty rainy weather”

Keith : “And I heard it’s death sentence here for possessing drugs?”

Me : “Sort of.”

Keith : “Man… no titty bars, expensive alcohol, no trucks, no drugs, no porn, hell, I don’t want to live here…”

Me : “Nothing’s perfect, bitch”

Keith : “What about Harleys? I’ve never seen any here”

Me : “A Harley has to be imported I think. Probably costs more than a hundred grand. And that’s not even a chopper”

Keith : “I ain’t paying that amount of money for a Harley …”

Me : “Yeah, might as well get a car or something”

Keith : “You know, there was this American I met last night who told me that he went to a club somewhere, where he got to dance with a girl for 400 bucks”

Me : “400 hundred bucks just to dance with a girl??”

Keith : “Yeah, and he gets to feel all over her.”

Me : “I ain’t paying 400 bucks to feel some girls… I think that guy got ripped off”

Keith : “Yeah, for 400 bucks, I’m screwing the girl.”

Me : “For 400 bucks, you’re screwing TWO girls!”

Keith : “You know, just before I came here, my wife picked up a stripper… and I screwed her…”

Me : “So, how much does that cost?”

Keith : “My wife picked her up on the way home”

Me : “Yeah, but how much?”

Keith : “What do you mean how much? She picked her up, it’s free!”

Me : “For free?? Wow! Why would she want to do that?”

Keith : “She likes my wife. And I screwed her while she screws my wife… ”

Me : [dumbfucked]

I met his wife before – a blonde with blue eyes, with a slightly large frame … and seriously, with that madcap behavior, I think he’s for real.

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 

17 Comments to “cultural clash”

  1. strawroot says:

    3some? awesome?

  2. ashotiwoth says:

    awesome…………
    any some is always awesome..

  3. michaelooi says:

    well, i don’t know if it’s awesome. Never tried it.

  4. auyongtc says:

    Now what’s emily gonna think… kih kih kih

  5. kyeoh says:

    haha as you know……. What they say about blondes……. :-P

  6. michaelooi says:

    damn those spammers ….

  7. oliviasy says:

    reminds me of the movie threesome….

  8. I want to go Amarica!

  9. michaelooi says:

    in Amedicka, strippers earn more money than working executives.

    But then, plastic surgeons and lawyers earn even more.

  10. boontz247 says:

    Damn! How come here..is so difficult for us to pick up somebody?? hahah..
    btw u seems to know the prices quite well…

  11. Elphinstone says:

    “awesome…………
    any some is always awesome..”

    hey anand, how about TROUBLESOME? lol.

  12. hustler says:

    Cute lah Mike …haha :)

    Care for a laugh? Would like to share with you funny ole schoolday day stories.

    http://thehustlerdiaries.blogspot.com/2004/12/mamak-chats-crazy-schoolboy-days.html

    Cheers pal,

  13. kimberlycun says:

    damn wild this keith..his wife more terror though

  14. michaelooi says:

    this keith is sure wild. he actually told me lots of lewd stories, but i can’t seem to register most of them..

    i mean, what do you expect from a 315lbs foul mouthed biker who loves to pick up fights in bars ?

    But he’s a nice dude alright. So far, the nicest white guy I’ve ever met (a lot more nicer than those educated clean apple pie metrosexuals who can’t think properly)

  15. ashotiwoth says:

    elphie,
    TROUBLESOME in threesome with anysome is awesome, but not troublesome customers… kekekekeke

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