November 29, 2004

a pool of lucid treasures

There’s a friend of mine that loves to brag about his recent weight loss and attributes it to his swimming ‘habit’. He’s like telling everyone that he swims very frequently and how goddamn good he’s at it. It sounded like a big deal for him. What the fuck. I don’t know what makes him feel so proud about all that… and what he had achieved by writhing through a pool of filthy water.

No you didn’t read me wrong – it’s indeed filthy water. Swimming is not a very hygienic activity. Imagine everyone jumping into the same pool. The water may look clear and clean… but then, you’ll never know what is inside it. Here are some of the stuffs that you should expect inside a public swimming pool :

1) Feces. Kids love swimming. They love to defecate too. And when you combine both, WHAM – you got kids’ shits inside the pool. And you, who swims in it, get to drink mouthfuls of those shit saturated pool water when you started to flaunt your beautiful breast stroke style.

Fact : My cousin and I once saw pieces of what resembled wads of unidentified brown matters floating near the bottom of the pool. When we got up, my cousin asked “What the hell were those??”
I retorted “Those were pieces of shits, you dolt.” And we bailed the pool almost immediately.

2) Piss. Come on, who doesn’t piss inside the pool? Maybe the very rational you wouldn’t, but some other inconsiderate people would. Especially kids. Do you think anyone would take the trouble to walk all the way up to the restroom to ease him/herself? Get real. Don’t believe me? Kill yourself.

Fact : My cousin and I again. I once stood beside him inside a pool and suddenly, I felt a warm sensation caressing my thighs. Then, feet, abs, holy fuck !
“Dude! Did you just piss????”
“Ahaks … ”

3) TaiYeeMa. TaiYeeMa is the Cantonese slang for having a menstrual. A unisex pool will always be plagued with this problem, of you know, having those microscopic bits of rotten uterus walls floating inside the swimming pool. You probably won’t see it, but, bite this fact – it’s happening all the time. Gross but true.

Facts : I’ve never encountered a TaiYeeMa piece of super absorbent with wings or tampons floating inside a pool before. I’d be damned if I did. But I’m unsure how much bacteria I’ve ingested throughout my life. Ughh.

4) Infected wounds. Could be worse – a pus infected wounds. Might just be a small (but festering with pus) wound beside some hardcore swimmer’s crotch where you won’t see it. If such a person swims inside a pool, it is most guaranteed that the pus would dilute into the water and disperse all over. This is not much different than swimming in the same pool full of bloated corpses.

Fact : I once saw a guy with a patch of exposed wound on his leg (from a motorcycle accident I suppose). He’s peeling off some loose skin by the side of the pool. I never went back into that pool again.

Phlegm (krraaak ptui), saliva, head lice, proteins from stinking armpits, dirt from unwashed crotches, boogers, ear wax, pukes, orifice discharges …. this could go on forever. Hell, we’re talking about jumping into a pool of toxic human waste here…

So, if you feel proud that you’re leading a very healthy lifestyle by being active in swimming, think for the second time. There are many more hygienic sports out there – like bowling, the only sports where you can have beer at the same time…. So, why choose swimming?

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

22 Comments to “a pool of lucid treasures”

  1. doc says:

    Congrats to your new website!

  2. michaelooi says:

    congrats my site .. not me meh ? heheh
    thanks for all the help dude.

  3. =yin= says:

    how come this comment window popup very ugly one.. all text stuck to the left edge of the window..

  4. METALRAGE says:

    ergh. some things r better left unsaid. i hate u for this.

  5. HolyCow says:

    He is just telling the truth… truth hurts oh yeah baybeh…

  6. Si Nong Kia say ur last words lar, hahaha. People gonna superglue ur mouth soon liao lah, also superglue ur asshole so u cunt shit further. Kanneh. Michael Ooi rulez over ower pathetic familee.

  7. Elphinstone says:

    Congrats on the new site;)

    once, i overheard an aunty asking her son to pee in the pool instead of her having to bring him to the toilet… aiyer. *cringe*

    the moral of the story? don’t use the pool at PSC. lol.

  8. oliviasy says:

    congrats over yr new site :)

  9. Mithz says:

    Congratulations dude!

  10. michaelooi says:

    yin – so, where do you want it to be stucked ?

    metalrage – ok, swimming pools are very clean then.

    holycow – yeah bebeh.

    elphine/olivia/mitz – thanks.

  11. viewtru says:

    That’s why they need the chlorine in swimming pools. Still, it is not as bad as some enclosed hot spring pools, where bacteria breed unabated.

  12. zbjernak says:

    new site huh….
    congratulation to your blog’s independent
    no longer depends on the BLOGGER….


  13. Lainie says:

    wooooooooo!! New website :)

    now i’m pretty sure I won’t go swimming anymore…But yknow, when girls have their period the blood doesnt come out until after they leave the pool? It’s still gross as hell though I don’t think they should be in the pool when bleeding

  14. michaelooi says:

    viewtru – chlorine kills bacterias.. yes. But they don’t kill shits. heheh.

    zbjernak – yep. sick of blogger. always down.

    lainie – they doesn’t seem to come out coz it’s diluted in the pool water.

  15. hustler says:

    Farnie but very true :)

  16. ShaolinTiger says:

    Congrats on the new domain dude, but you better link to me again or I’m gonna h4x0r you kekeke

    BTW 50% chlorine, kills everything in the swimming pool, including you :/

    In UK if you piss in the swimming pool the water turns super bright blue, which is kinda funny to see and helluva embarrassment for the poor pisser, so at least the water is piss free…all the other crap is still there though.

    Oh yeah, fix the comment alignments :)

  17. michaelooi says:

    alright guys, fixed the alignment. what else do you want ? sex ?

  18. shanks says:

    i prefer this to haloscan. it gives the site a better consistency in terms of the layout-design theme

  19. iblogme says:

    Very…gross. But mostly true.

    Congrats on the new website!
    Now I have to go update the link *grumble grumble*

  20. Dana says:

    Congrats on your new site! Today only have chance to really type something here.

    Anyway, tsk tsk tsk… typical china man, that thinks mentrual pad, or anything that do with female vagina opening is damned and bad luck when happen to face one.

  21. vyne says:

    I was eating lunch when I read this post. Now I’m not eating anymore coz I lost my appetite.

    I haven’t stepped into a swimming pool for ages, no thanks to the exact same sentiments you just mentioned.

  22. Zabrina says:

    Well well well…. i wonder, if u said unwashed penises.. do u mean urs?
    c;mon. it could be anyones.. i dont have a penis.. so i cant say .. but!!! all of u can be very dirty
    so if ppl just stay clean other then the ear wax and booggies (boogers) i think the pool would be ok ! and the blatter problems.. that sucks for some kids
    kids have uncontrolable pee pee explosions.. i feel bad! ok im done! u still proved a good point~ byeee G

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