November 18, 2004

orange

That afternoon was scorching hot, and no chilled water could quench my thirst. I was rummaging the refrigerator to look for antidotes. Beers, sodas, anything. But the piece of cold junk metal storage was as bare as Kate Moss’ rack.

Fuck. I’d be dehydrated like a ginseng if I don’t get myself a good rejuvenation soon. That was when I decided to raid the prohibited region of the refrigerator – the housewife region. It was a department full of green vegetables and meat of dead animals – which was normally off limit to the guys. Me (alright, I’m equivalent to many guys).

I continued to forage the maze of cold food, until I spotted something partially obscured at a corner, the golden fruit of heavenly rejuvenation a.k.a orange.

What could be more refreshing and rejuvenating than a chilled big juicy orange ? This was my lucky day.

I hijacked the orange and got myself a small knife. I took a seat at the dining table, and began to peel the orange.

Peel the orange. Yes. I’d love to eat it peeled. Not sliced, not cut or anything. Psychologically I feel, it tastes better when peeled. Nothing beats the feeling of slam dunking wedges of sweet oranges into my mouth and make it explode inside. Hell I’ll eat the seeds as well.

Alright, the orange had some really tough rind. So tough, that it did not actually ‘peeeeeel’. Instead, it came out chunk by chunk, which was kinda frustrating. And the stupid knife wasn’t doing me good either. @#$%^&*(

It went bits by bits. Pieces by pieces. Felt like ages. My palms were literally soaked with the orange rind’s aromatic essence. I wiped it on my white T-shirt, which smeared the reddish yellow streak of color on it, as if the cotton was oxidized like steel.

Then came the annoying soft white peels. The orange’s underwear. I ain’t eating those. They taste bitter. I had to peel them little devils off. My orange had to be perfect. Dry and clean.

I loosen them out like an artist detailing a painting. I left not a single strand of those white peels on it. I had it naked before my eyes and I started to envision myself crunching on its sweet pulps.

Alright, I then took the final task of separating the citrus fruit into wedges. I started out from the north pole, stuck my little finger into the big center hole and carefully attempt to pry them loose. They wouldn’t. I tried separating the orange from the mid section, it was stupid. Tried from the south pole, wouldn’t come loose either. I tried again at the northpole, this time, with a wee bit more force. Squirt. I inadvertently mangled the top part of the orange. My orange was not perfect anymore.

“How am I gonna eat this disfigured orange?” I thought. Goddamn. That was the only one left. I contemplated for a while, looked around me. I didn’t have an option. So I took the whole fruit, and bit it straight from my hands. SCROOOSSSHHHHHHHH, its sweet juice began to pour profusely onto my white T-shirt, partially embossing my pair of guy tits. That bothered me not. I took another bite – SQUIRRRT – it projectiled all over the place. The wall. The sofa. The floor. Every-fucking-where.

I bit, I sucked, and bit it again. Squeezed it some more till the very last drop of essence trickled down my throat. Did that until the whole piece of fruit reduced to a lump of dehydrated pulp. I tried to swallow the thing but, it was impossible. It was too big and would make me barf.

Judging that I had already leeched every single drop of juice from that piece of pulp patty, I walked to the window and spat it out. The piece of saliva soaked barren pulp then landed onto my neighbor’s sleeping dog, startled it and made it aimlessly dash through the open gate onto the busy street.

SCROOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH, I saw the canine’s blood streaked across the hot tarred road. The fucking dog was dead. Could never be happier.

I then took a cold shower and gave myself a good scrub – and spent that peaceful afternoon on a cool soft mattress.

****

This fictional post was written out of boredom. An expressive post. If it doesn’t make sense to you, never mind.

michaelooi  | imaginations  | 

18 Comments to “orange”

  1. shanks says:

    during a party my gf went to, the guys and girls were suppose to define sexy in the opposite sex.

    a guy said that it is sexy when a girl eats orange the way u described.

    i bet he was hoping that the juice trickle to her boobs like in a wet t-shirt contest.

  2. michaelooi says:

    shanks – not sure if it’s sexy but sure it’s kinda messy. But then, if you get to lick the mess up from that girl … hey, I’m not complaining man.

  3. 100 says:

    I wasnt thinking about orange when reading this…

    “I bit, I sucked, and bit it again. Squeezed it some more till the very last drop of essence trickled down my throat. Did that until the whole piece of fruit reduced to a lump of dehydrated pulp. I tried to swallow the thing but, it was impossible. It was too big and would make me barf.”

    It’s dick to imagine mike doing it…i know he wont.

  4. at least you know it’s messy…

  5. oliviasy says:

    the orange sounds yummy… now i wanna go home and eat like dat too… :D

  6. hx says:

    heh i didnt know there were so much of philosophy just to eat one damned orange.. hehe

  7. michaelooi says:

    it’s just an inane post written at a time when i’m feeling blank.

  8. ashotiwoth says:

    waaa mike… when u r blank u can still write a lot huh?? :D

  9. k3ng says:

    mike u should do sunkist advertismnents.. hahahaha

  10. kimberlycun says:

    i tot ur going to blind ur eyes with orange juice or lar yat lar the penis or something

  11. jefferi says:

    yep.. i does not make sense to me.. i’m not worry. jz worry about ur self…. wakakakaak…….

    p/s: change my post as you please.. it just mean for you to read…. i dun mind if you want to make me look retarted (dun care if the spelling is rite or wrong.. at least you understand it). so what! it make you the same too.. wakaka………

  12. buaya69 says:

    wah, if mike can describe peeling and eating an orange so so artistically, think wat mike can do when he writes erotic literary ;)

  13. alexan says:

    Michael, have you considered writing a compilation book? It would be interesting to have a quick read like this in the toilet (One story per *sitting*) . But put a disclaimer that you won’t be responsible if they crap all over the cubicle laughing about it.

  14. michaelooi says:

    well, actually, the thing may sound inane. but it’s written based on a lot of happenings around me. I made it into an orange eating event instead.

    now, jefferi. I won’t be editing that post of yours. You know why ? coz it really reflects your shallowness.

    Grow up, will you ?

  15. curious says:

    Sorry, Michael.

    Slightly off topic.

    Just a link for guys who dream of heaven on earth:

    http://j-walk.com/other/ goodwife…odwifeguide.gif

  16. michaelooi says:

    curious – what a fine educational piece of work !

  17. jefferi says:

    tq…. ;) kiddo
    that more like it… shallow? sorry i dun think so… i’m an open minded people..

    p/s: now who is talking?

  18. michaelooi says:

    jefferi – you’re a kiddo alright. open minded “people”. ..hhhyeah..

    if you’re so against me and my blog, why do you keep coming back to read it ?

    are you stupid or something ? i bet you are. but thanks anyway.

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