November 1, 2004

the mushroom ‘do

When I was a very young teenager, I used to frequent to my friend Johnny’s residential at some densely populated suburb, once a month. Almost like a routine. No we weren’t gay or something. I frequented there because there was a middle aged blimp housewife who offered a 3 bucks haircut right across Johnny’s neighborhood.

What was the big deal about this self proclaimed hairdresser? Well, she’s able to trim an Aaron Kwok’s hairstyle on virtually any head. And that, literally translates to – BIG FUCKING DEAL!! (Aaron Kwok’s hairstyle in the 90’s – a thick mushroom shaped do with an almost center parting. I think Aaron Kwok must have copied this hairstyle from those Iban aborigines in Borneo. Looked like a prick I must admit.)

Everyone had to have that kind of hairstyle back then (early 90’s), else you won’t get to date any girls. I don’t know why it had to be Aaron Kwok’s hairstyle… not that we liked that faggot… but it seemed to be a very hype thing to do back then (although in retrospect, that particular hairstyle is damn hideous, in my present opinion). We did it all for the girls.

Hell, we’ll even fucking do a mohawk if the girls would go ga ga over those. But fortunately, they did not. It was Aaron fucking Kwok. We were just following the trend and did our job as a bunch of desperate blokes longing for a hook up.

So basically, each and every teenage dude in our school would adopt that generic hairstyle, the thicker it is, the better it looks. Well, at least in the eye of the beholder(s) – girls.

I remember that my mom loathed that type of hairstyle. She said The Beatles’ coconut molded hairstyle looked any time better than that sissy boy’s thick mushroom do. Couldn’t agree more. Those girls made us look like fag clowns back then, and we played along. Goddamn.

Alright, back to that haircut service… basically for that kind of price, it was not surprising at all to have shitloads of teenagers flocking into her tiny outlet for a complete Aaron Kwok makeover.

“Aunty, ai kawwww eh…” (Aunty, thick one please…) *referring to the hairstyle.. and she’ll do an Aaron Kwok for us.

And after getting a haircut there, we would cycle around in a flamboyant manner like that… flicking our hair as if we’re in some of Hindustan movie – hoping to garner some attention from a passing female.

So did I attract any chicks with that hairstyle? Sort of. (I wouldn’t have adopted that hairstyle if it was for no effect). That Aaron Kwok hairstyle craze lasted approximately 12 – 18 moons, before a new wave of hype came to replace the style – Beyond’s center parting rocker style.

Such were the servitude of being a teenager. Full of lies and deception. We follow what our friends do, and do what the girls want. Oh, if only I could turn back the clock…

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 

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