the mushroom ‘do

When I was a very young teenager, I used to frequent to Johnny’s residential at some densely populated outskirt area, once a month. Almost like a routine. No we weren’t gay or something. I frequented there because there was a middle aged blimp housewife who offered a 3 bucks service for a complete haircut right across Johnny’s neighborhood.

What’s the big deal about this self proclaimed barber ? Well, she’s able to trim an Aaron Kwok’s hairstyle on virtually any head. And that, literally translates to - BIG FUCKING DEAL !! (Aaron Kwok’s hairstyle in the 90’s - a thick mushroom shaped soft straight hair with an almost center parting. I think Aaron Kwok must’ve copied this hairstyle from those Iban aborigines in Borneo. Looked like a prick I must admit.)

Everyone has got to have that kind of hairstyle back then (early 90’s), else you aren’t gonna get to date any girls. I don’t know why it has to be Aaron Kwok’s hairstyle … not that we liked that faggot … but it seemed to be a very hype thing to do (although in retrospect, that particular hairstyle is damn hideous, in my current opinion). We did it all for the girls.

Hell, we’ll even fucking do a trojan or mohawk if the girls would go nuts about it. But fortunately, they did not. It’s Aaron fucking Kwok. We’re just following the trend and doing our job as a bunch of desperate blokes longing for a hook up.

So basically, each & every teenage dude in our school would adopt that stereotypical hairstyle, the thicker it is, the better he looks. Well, at least in the eye of the beholder(s) - girls.

I remembered that my mom loathed that type of hairstyle. She said The Beatles’ coconut molded hairstyle looked any time better than that sissy boy’s thick mushroom hair. Couldn’t agree more. Those girls made us look like fag clowns back then, and we played along. Goddamn.

Alright, back to that haircut service, … basically for that kind of price, that blimp barber would practically have a phalanx of teenagers flocking into her decently sized shop for Aaron Kwok’s mushroom shaped hairstyle.

“Aunty, ai kawwww eh…” (Aunty, thick one please…) *referring to the hairstyle.. and she’ll do an Aaron Kwok for us.

And with that kind of hairstyle, we would cycle around in flamboyant manner like that …. flicking our hair as if we’re in somekind of a Hindustan movie - hoping to rake some attention from a passing female (don’t ask, it seemed so logically possible back then).

So did I rake in any chicks with that hairstyle ? Sort of. (I wouldn’t have adopted that hairstyle if it didn’t actually worked). That Aaron Kwok hairstyle craze lasted approximately 12 - 18 moons, before a new wave of hype rolls in - Beyond’s center parting rocker style.

Such were the servitude of being a teenager. Full of lies and deception. We follow what our friends do, and do what the girls want. Oh, if I could turn back the clock….