I had a visitor from USA today. He’s a big white guy that weights 315 lbs, towering at about 6 ft 3, with some really badass beard. Yes, he’s Keith, if you can remember him (blogged about him a few months back during my trip to USA).
Alright, we were coming out from the workplace – where I had just finished showing him around the plant. As usual, we were required to go through a set of stringent procedure at the security checkpoint.
You know, like what they do in airports? Take out all your metal stuff, walk through the metal detector, if it beeps, those security guards are gonna manually scan you up with a handheld metal detector.
I got through and it was Keith’s turn. The metal detector went BEEEEP ! and he was asked to step up onto a slightly elevated wooden platform. A petite Malay security housewife went ahead to scan him up with a handheld metal detector.
BEEEP! His boots beeped.
“That’s a metal safety boot.” Keith explained.
Security housewife continued to scan. Again, the metal detector went BEEEP! and this time, it was right in front of his shirt pocket.
Keith tried to dig the pocket but there was nothing inside. He gestured to the housewife that there was nothing inside his pocket.
Security housewife scanned for another time. BEEEEP ! and looked at Keith with a very concerned face – that he should check his pocket properly or something like that.
“Dude, you sure you don’t have coins or something in there?” I asked Keith.
“No.. there’s nothing in my pocket!”
Security housewife put her scanner in front of Keith’s shirt pocket again and that annoying thing beeped indefinitely – and this time, she has this confident look on her that Keith must be hiding something.
Almost immediately, I started to realize what was about to transpire there.
“Oh god, I hope that isn’t what I think it is … ”
Keith gave me a wry grin and that “oh yeah?” look
“I think you may need to show her your tits…”
Keith chuckled and started to unbutton his shirt. The security housewife was dumbfucked when she saw Keith unbuttoning his shirt. Before she could even react to that, Keith had already undone 2 buttons and he whipped out his left tit.
It was his nipple ring. Keith then pinched his D cup man tit to bulge his nipple further for the security housewife to inspect. The rest of the people around the security checkpoint (including myself) were already laughing like jackasses high on drugs, in a crouching position to withstand the cramping stomach muscle.
The housewife security guard stumbled a few steps backwards hitting the corner of a wall and was wiping her tears – from laughing too hard herself as well. Keith then said it out loud to me “I got this done when I was pissed drunk one night… heh heh heh”.
When he got down from that platform, he quipped further
Keith : “Man, that thing was too sensitive for detecting a nipple ring.. don’t you think so ?”
Me : “Basically it would beep if there’s any metal object .. nipple ring or not.”
Keith : “Does that mean I get to show her my dick if her detector beeps on my dick ring?”
Me : “You pierced your dick too ??”
Keith : “I was just kidding about that… heheh”
And we laughed all the way out to lunch, leaving that bunch of security guards still dumbfounded on what they had witnessed.