History : I posted a review about Honda City 20 years ago in my blog. I’ve blogged about it’s weird looks - like a flowerhorn fish … and it’s trunk is too big to fit a few mother in laws.

A honda salesman then posted a comment to defend that flowerhorn fish car here.

Guess what ? Today, another Honda salesman posted something up to defend that fugly car. What amazes me is, HE POSTED THE SAME POINT ABOUT THE DARN CAR !. You salesman never learn, do you ? Here’s his post.

harrypotterpride45t posted :
“I think u didnt like the City’s looks agreed but here everyone loves the City for it looks- sporty .

Long looking cars are old fashioned dear friend its all about aerodynamics and merging lines and curves and city excels in this”

Again, my reply to this Honda salesman.

Dear Honda salesman a.k.a Harry Potter (hahah.. fuck.. he should be concerned on magic brooms). Thanks for commenting. I have a few comments about your post.

1) I have given up debating on Honda City’s looks. I’ve already said it articulately - It’s a goddamn ugly car. Nevermind the aerodynamics. Nevermind the curves. This is akin to judging a girl - no matter how round the girl’s rack or how curvy her ass is, if she’s looking like a swine with leprosy - she WILL be labeled as UGLY. Without parole.

2) Classy interiors ? Very subjective my friend. I’ve seen better. Check out all Peugeots, Citroens or even Renaults’ interior. You’ll get what I mean. So, this point is void (baseless).

3) Comfort ? If it was driven between 0 to 80kph - yes. But hell, all vehicles are suppose to be comfortable at that speed.
Post 100, the stability decreases and wind noise apparent. Not very significantly impressive if you ask me. My car can do over 160 without feeling a slight vibration. Like I’ve stressed in my previous post, Honda City is a compact sedan. It has limited ability when it comes to speeeeeed.

4) Long looking car old fashion ? Duuuuude. Please. Long front means there’s a monster engine inside the hood. Short back means a 2 seater/doors with no trunk room to store mother in laws (coz the owners are mostly single). Sorry to disappoint you but, these kind of architecture still dominates the top end market .. and they are the cars that still defines one’s standard. (check out Mazda RX-8 for example)

5) The only thing good about Honda City is the fuel consumption - which I agree it’s damn impressive. But one could be paying more to maintain the CVT when it comes to wear and tear … so, LPPL.

6) Try to use punctuation marks next time. It really makes your sentence easier to read.

Damn, why do all Honda salesman have problems with punctuation marks ? Or could it be that they are the same person ? Well, not that I care anyway.

We’re chatting about some animal science this morning during our breakfast.

Elbee : “You know … there’s a type of poisonous big lizard that dwells in some island near Australia …”

Me : “Oh I know that lizard … I don’t think it’s in Australia. If I’m not mistaken, it’s near some volcanic island in Indonesia.”

Pirate : “Yeah yeah. I heard that it’s drool contain some nasty bacteria that could kill any living organism they happen to bite”

Me : “Badass lizards. Damn, I couldn’t remember what it’s called … Ko something…”

Pirate : “Ko….. Kodo .. something … damn, I can’t remember either..”

Elbee : “Monitor lizard ?”

Me : “No .. it started with the capital K … Kodo… ”

Pirate : “Kodo…. Kodomo !”

Me : “Yeah yeah .. fuck… that’s it. Kodomo !”

I thought I recalled the word. Somehow, out of my addled mind, I could not control what I wanted to speak. I wanted to say “Kodomo Dragon”, but my mouth automatically said

Me : “KODOMO LION !”

Silence.

Pirate : “Hey, that doesn’t sound right… Kodomo lion’s a toothpaste for annoying kids goddamn it…”

And we all laughed till black out. I imagined myself being an intellectually inadequate adolescent jumping up and down in a jovial manner, while jabbering the corny kindergarten toothpaste brand name.

The lizard’s actual name is Ah Keong. Kidding. It’s called Komodo Dragon - a distant relative of my ex-boss Rob. They are super poisonous, extremely dangerous, loves to play badminton and also a bunch of avid stamp collectors. … …

If you believed that, then seriously, you should use Kodomo Lion toothpaste. I’ll be a zoologist right now if I know shit about some exotic species of lizards.

All I know about Komodo Dragon is - it’s nastier than the nastiest mother in law, and it bites like a bitch. (mother in laws don’t bite so, that makes this lizard a REAL NIGHTMARE). If you see any around, just get the hell out from the area as soon as possible. If you have a gun, shoot it before you run. (no, those insecticides, firecrackers, cream detergent, etc won’t work on this four legged behemoth cicak).

A month ago, some bigot emailed and hooted me that I exaggerated about stomping a roach squirting it’s entrails. He said that it did not happened and I fucking lied.

Well, I managed to stomp another one yesterday. A big one. Took a picture of it. It’s gross. So gross that it turned my stomach and made me barf a little. Uggghhh.

I ain’t publishing it here coz it might make people sick. If you still want to check it out, copy following link on your browser and load it up yourself. Do it with discretion. (WARNING: EXTREMELY GROSS PICTURE I’M TELLING YOU..)

http://www.michaelooi.net/pics/cucuracha.jpg

Bigot, if you’re reading this, take the liberty to check the picture out. It’s for your next birthday.

As we are all aware, we’re now in the holy month of Ramadhan - where our Muslim friends will fast from dawn till dusk. During the day time, none of them are suppose to eat, drink, or ingest anything at all - which to me, is akin to getting myself in real torment situation. (I can get pretty lethargic when I’m exposed to long hours of hunger and thirst).

I have yet to ask any of my Muslim friends why are they doing that - but then, let’s just say, I’m not very interested to find out. I’m not a religious guy or someone who cares about the welfare of others … so, I’ll just mind my own business.

But on Friday, after I had hauled my ass out from a perilous 40 minutes traffic jam RIGHT OUTSIDE MY QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD, I decided to ask this — Why are there so many Muslim people violating traffic rules during the month of Ramadhan ?

Don’t get why I asked that ?

Look around you. About 5 - 6 pm, there’ll be stalls popping up by the roadside basically at every corner. Our Muslim friends will throng the streets to buy food from these stalls for their daily fast break. Now, what’s my problem about that ? No I don’t. I have problem with something else.

Problems with inconsiderate idiots who park their bicycles, motorcycles and cars.. ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. And these, my friends, causes massive traffic jam almost HALF OF PENANG each time we’re near the hours of breaking their fast.

They would park their vehicles on single line, double lines, emergency lanes, by the fire hydrant, anywhere. And these inconsiderate schmucks, would then march on the road like a bold invincible gangsters, obstructing the flow of traffics and crossing roads without looking.

Hello ??? Is there anything inside your head ? Park your goddamn vehicles at allocated car parks. Or anywhere that doesn’t block the traffic. Be considerate. There are many more other human beings who also want to be with their family for dinner, NOT JUST YOU ALONE.

On Friday evening, when Emily & I were having our dinner in a ghetto food center, a white cat (with black spots) came along and lay down flat by it’s side just by our table.

You know how cats love to lie sideways on the floor, and act as if everyone’s admiring it’s stylish pose like that. That’s exactly what this cat was doing, lying there and act like a movie star.

It was ostentatiously displaying it’s crotch region and was licking it. SLURP. SLURP. First the crotch, the it’s own tits. Ughh …that filthy cat, doing such an immoral act in public places… and people were trying to have their decent dinner. Goddamn.

I could not let this happen. Someone has to stop the cat. I took up the straw from my glass of iced coffee, and started to blow shards of crushed ice on that beast. The first shot ended up near it’s frontal paw - to which the cat looked around confusingly unsuspecting that I was shooting at it.

I took another shot, it hit the cat’s belly this time. I was expecting that shot would give the feline a jolt… but surprisingly, it didn’t. That shot was just like a flea itch to the darn cat, and it licked more.

Alright, I was determined this time. I’m gonna toast this cat. I took a careful aim to snipe the cat’s forehead. The projectile of ice piece flew straight into it’s ear and causes it to jump up half a feet high.

It then ran to a nearby stall looking confused while shaking it’s head vigorously (the sting of the ice shard inside it’s ears means very itchy). I was laughing out loud so hard, that it attracted some attention from the patrons around - wondering if I’m still sane.

Those people didn’t realize that I’ve just cleaned the society off another lecherous animal that knows no shame. It’s ok though, I forgive their ignorance.