October 27, 2004

trying to be frank

I’m trying to be frank to the girls here

– no, that absurd pair of shoes with thick soles do not look good on any legs. They are disgusting and make the noblest of angels look like a crack whore from the darkest of alleys.

– scarves don’t make you look good either. Any color. In fact, they always remind us guys of transgenders that are trying to hide their protruded Adam’s apple. Please, rid of them.

– thinking of showing your navel by wearing those short shirt/blouse? Only if you have a flat ab. Just wake up, nobody fancies looking at your lard.

– if you’re wearing a pair of tight rubber/lycra pants, please, don’t wear those big ass undies. Wear a thong or nothing at all.

– polka dots are only good if you’re still a kindergarten undergrad, or you have problem doing grade 1 mathematics.

– if you have muscular legs that rival T-Rex’s, please, do the guys a favor, don’t fucking wear any miniskirts. It’s going to look disastrous.

– your yellow colored sneaker won’t match any of your clothes. Throw them away, save yourself some self esteem.

– if you have small tits, don’t wear padded/oversized bras. We sense unnatural tits like our own’s. Small tits aren’t always a bad thing. But padded tits are always a turn down.

– if you’re menstruating, stay at home.

– knee high boots are only for sluts and dominatrixes. If you’re not ready to be judged as one, don’t fucking wear them.

– those artificial essence that lubes the condom have long term side effects when ingested orally. If you get my drift.

– hairy armpit sucks. Shave them, pluck them, or incinerate them, whatever. They are a major turn off and on some cases, could inflict permanent erectile dysfunction.

– if you accidentally bumps your rack at someone, you apologize. You don’t just stand there and stare as if that person have just deliberately kneaded your tits till they go purple.

– nobody gives a fuck if you wear a thong like everyone else. So, stop showing them off in public by wearing a ridiculously low cut jeans/pants.

Please, be considerate.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.