There’s a guy in my office that looks like Homer Simpson. With a little bit of hair off his head and some yellow paint on his skin – WHAM ! You get a perfect replica of Homer.
Homer sits near a very busy walkway – which was how I noticed that the resemblance in the first place. I get to see his funny face a few times a day, everyday. Each time I walk past his cube, I would sneak a snigger or two whenever I got reminded of Homer Simpson.
But then, this guy has a cleaner reputation than the real Homer. Instead of being a complete paranoid and dumb fart, this guy is kinda suave and very much the introvert type. Looks friendly too. But that squeaky clean image changed utterly one day when I inadvertently caught him doing ‘something’.
I was walking back to my desk as usual that day, when I saw Homer’s head inside his cube from approximately 30ft away. His head was bobbing up and down, sort of doing something.
20ft, his face was fully visible, I could see that he was busy doing something. Full concentration.
10ft, I could see him sitting in an awkward pose on his chair. Still, in full concentration on whatever he was doing.
5ft, I saw him taking out one of his hands and took a long whiff, followed by an satisfactory expression on his face. I gasped in horror.
He immediately noticed my exasperation and quickly turned away in embarrassment.
Gawwwd ! What the fuck was he whiffing out from his hand? Had to be something gross! From my understanding, people only whiff their hands when
1) They touched something that was unknown to them, and decided to take a whiff to find out.
2) They dug/rubbed/excavated something off from their private parts, and whiffed at it for their own repulsive gratification.
From his expression after taking that whiff, I reckoned it was the latter. Bleargghh !
Lesson learnt : Be very careful of whom you shake your hands with…