animal science

We’re chatting about some animal science this morning during our breakfast.

Elbee : “You know … there’s a type of poisonous big lizard that dwells in some island near Australia …”

Me : “Oh I know that lizard … I don’t think it’s in Australia. If I’m not mistaken, it’s near some volcanic island in Indonesia.”

Pirate : “Yeah yeah. I heard that it’s drool contain some nasty bacteria that could kill any living organism they happen to bite”

Me : “Badass lizards. Damn, I couldn’t remember what it’s called … Ko something…”

Pirate : “Ko….. Kodo .. something … damn, I can’t remember either..”

Elbee : “Monitor lizard ?”

Me : “No .. it started with the capital K … Kodo… ”

Pirate : “Kodo…. Kodomo !”

Me : “Yeah yeah .. fuck… that’s it. Kodomo !”

I thought I recalled the word. Somehow, out of my addled mind, I could not control what I wanted to speak. I wanted to say “Kodomo Dragon”, but my mouth automatically said

Me : “KODOMO LION !”

Silence.

Pirate : “Hey, that doesn’t sound right… Kodomo lion’s a toothpaste for annoying kids goddamn it…”

And we all laughed till black out. I imagined myself being an intellectually inadequate adolescent jumping up and down in a jovial manner, while jabbering the corny kindergarten toothpaste brand name.

The lizard’s actual name is Ah Keong. Kidding. It’s called Komodo Dragon - a distant relative of my ex-boss Rob. They are super poisonous, extremely dangerous, loves to play badminton and also a bunch of avid stamp collectors. … …

If you believed that, then seriously, you should use Kodomo Lion toothpaste. I’ll be a zoologist right now if I know shit about some exotic species of lizards.

All I know about Komodo Dragon is - it’s nastier than the nastiest mother in law, and it bites like a bitch. (mother in laws don’t bite so, that makes this lizard a REAL NIGHTMARE). If you see any around, just get the hell out from the area as soon as possible. If you have a gun, shoot it before you run. (no, those insecticides, firecrackers, cream detergent, etc won’t work on this four legged behemoth cicak).