the feline exhibitionist

On Friday evening, when Emily & I were having our dinner in a ghetto food center, a white cat (with black spots) came along and lay down flat by it’s side just by our table.

You know how cats love to lie sideways on the floor, and act as if everyone’s admiring it’s stylish pose like that. That’s exactly what this cat was doing, lying there and act like a movie star.

It was ostentatiously displaying it’s crotch region and was licking it. SLURP. SLURP. First the crotch, the it’s own tits. Ughh …that filthy cat, doing such an immoral act in public places… and people were trying to have their decent dinner. Goddamn.

I could not let this happen. Someone has to stop the cat. I took up the straw from my glass of iced coffee, and started to blow shards of crushed ice on that beast. The first shot ended up near it’s frontal paw - to which the cat looked around confusingly unsuspecting that I was shooting at it.

I took another shot, it hit the cat’s belly this time. I was expecting that shot would give the feline a jolt… but surprisingly, it didn’t. That shot was just like a flea itch to the darn cat, and it licked more.

Alright, I was determined this time. I’m gonna toast this cat. I took a careful aim to snipe the cat’s forehead. The projectile of ice piece flew straight into it’s ear and causes it to jump up half a feet high.

It then ran to a nearby stall looking confused while shaking it’s head vigorously (the sting of the ice shard inside it’s ears means very itchy). I was laughing out loud so hard, that it attracted some attention from the patrons around - wondering if I’m still sane.

Those people didn’t realize that I’ve just cleaned the society off another lecherous animal that knows no shame. It’s ok though, I forgive their ignorance.