battle of the sexes

As usual, my mind was wandering off into oblivion when Emily and I were stuck in a traffic jam again last night. With a gloomy and scowling expression, I have been thinking hard about some serious stuff. Stuffs that has encumbered my soul for the past few days — “where the hell should I party during my holidays ??”

It’s a thought that always ended up being put aside for another few feet of advances towards the insipid traffic. And the whole episode would repeat itself until the car in front moves again. It was all silent except listening to my own thoughts and the boring pop beats on the radio.

It was then, Emily switched to a Chinese radio station - where I could hear a placid voiced female DJ speaking in Cantonese. I was inadvertently listening to it while I’m into that deep trance of thoughts.

Apparently, the DJ was kinda giving an advice to some doofus who called up the radio station earlier — about her triangle love problem. The caller’s situation was, she’s infatuated with 2 guys at the same time, and she’s calling in to ask the DJ for her opinion.

I was shaking my head in disbelief. I wondered what makes one think that a radio DJ would be the best person to solve their love-hate relationship ? For god’s sake, a DJ is just like any ordinary person - THAT DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE about you and your mongoloid puppy love. Might as well ask your neighbor’s son.

Alright, here’s actually how the radio DJ responded to the caller (translated from Cantonese) :

“Ask yourself, who would you think of… when you’re sad or unhappy. Then, who would you think of … when you’re at your happiest moment. If you already have the answer … then, that could be the person you love most…”

That’s when I protested out loudly

Me : “FUCK ! That’s so retarded.”

Emily : “Hey … what’s wrong with you ? You actually know what she’s talking about ?”

Me : “Of course I know. A slut fell in love with 2 guys. And she’s calling the national radio to consult the DJ”

Emily : “She just wanted to know about more opinions …”

Me : “It’s always about the girls. Things would be much more simpler for the guys.”

Emily : “Alright then, how would you choose if you happen to fell in love with 2 girls at the same time ?”

Sensing danger, I quickly devised up a smart reply

Me : “Oh no… dear. You know I would never love another girl … you’re my only love.”

Emily : “You don’t have to be afraid.. just, picture you’re in the situation.”

That’s a clearance for me to be honest.

Me : “Alright, for me, it would be simple. I’ll select the one with a bigger tits. Period”

Emily : “Whattt ????”

Me : “Yeah .. if a guy loves 2 girls and have to choose one, he’ll go for the one with bigger tits”

Emily : [passed out]

Alright, she did not pass out. But more like shaking her head in disbelief with her mouth wide agape. And with that, I know I have made a very good point there. I think I’m smart. Gimme beer.