September 26, 2004

“New Police Story” (2004)

Went to watch New Police Story on Friday. Got ourselves some free tickets. Apparently, when Luis went to buy the tickets, the girl behind the counter mistakenly thought he had paid her a 100 ringgit bill (which he didn’t). She printed out our tickets and even gave Luis the change. And those were 6 orchestra seat tickets, what the fuck, heheh.

Ok, what did I think of the movie? I don’t know – let’s just say, the movie was a deviation from the original Police Story trilogy. Instead of having traditional badass looking villains, the director hired a few kiddies from a nearby McDonalds to star in it. To save some cost I guess.

Jackie Chan starred as Wing, a middle aged super cop that was fucked in the ass right from the beginning by a bunch of prepubescent looking thugs. Those teenage thugs were a bunch of rich kids that led a double profile – day time as a normal person, and night time as a bunch of psychotic criminals that has the penchant of yelling “wooooo !!”.

The movie began with that bunch of teenage thugs pulling a night time robbery in a high rise building and mowed down a whole team of cops that responded to the scene with some high powered automatic rifles. And that prompted Wing the Super Cop to take over the case. He sort of bragged that he would bring those criminals to justice within moments of the massacre – which was his main mistake for being too confident.

Then, with some magical ways, Wing managed to trace down the thugs to an abandoned warehouse. Instead of leading an entire army of police force to burn the whole place down, Wing the Super Cop led a team of young & inexperienced rookie police boys to do the job. But what he did not realize was, those thugs weren’t just any ordinary thugs (even having known that those thugs killed so many cops). Those thugs were in fact, a bunch of avid gamers (that was so scary), and that gift gave them the advantage to set some really wicked traps inside the warehouse to cream Wing’s ass.

That was how Wing lost all his teammates (including his faggot brother in law). But then, for some odd reasons, those teenage thugs did not kill him. Instead, they blew up a portion of the place to freak Wing up… and made him a useless alcoholic. I reckoned that all these were properly planned so that Wing the Super Cop could have a second chance to retaliate. (or else, the title would have to be changed to Teenage Thugs Story).

Fast forward one year, Wing was still a drunk fuck. During one of his drunken moments, when he was puking his bile out in an alley, suddenly he was shadowed by a youngster that looked like another McDonald’s part timer. He was Nicholas Tse, which hailed the name PC584003 (I forgot the number, so I made up one) and he rescued Wing from the alley before he got raped by a bunch of horny stray cats. Nicholas looked kinda cool at first, until a couple moments later, I saw him mopping Wing’s apartment floor. His reputation instantly went down a few notches in my impression book.

The rest of the story was pretty predictable, you know, PC584003 inspired Wing to wake up from his alcoholic sleaze and work his way to arrest those bunch of teenage thugs. Not much intelligent plots, and the movie would reach to its grand finale. The way Wing defeats those bunch of teenagers was pretty cheesy I would say. He actually did it by calling their parents into a robbery scene – which made those teenage thugs panic and went ballistic. Afraid of their moms’ nagging I guess.

The only thing that I really enjoyed about this movie was the hand-to-hand combat scene, which I think was pretty cool. Jackie Chan’s already 51, and he still got the moves. Now imagine your dad fights like that. Other than that, it’s just an ordinary musty Hong Kong flick, nothing special.

But then, for free, who am I to complain?

michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 

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