This morning, when I was doing some investigation work, I suddenly had the urge to pee. I quickly dropped whatever I was doing and rushed in haste to the nearby restroom – which was located approximately 10 meters away from my lab.
Upon reaching the restroom entrance, I stumbled into a sign, which indicated that there’s an overweight middle age Indian lady inside the toilet… waiting to molest any guy who goes in next. Alright, it was the janitor’s sign board – the toilet’s closed for maintenance. She needed all the privacy to clean up everyone’s shit.
That put me in a really difficult situation. From my understanding, the nearest toilet was also closed for renovation – which only left me with one option, that was to use the office toilet which was located far away from the spot I was standing. The journey would be so ridiculously long, that it’s akin to making a pilgrimage to China from Europe through the Silk Route. On foot.
Without wasting anymore precious time, I skated to that faraway toilet, with each of my steps getting faster as seconds ticked by. Meters became miles, and the journey seemed like eternity. Goddamn. Halfway through the journey, I noticed that the second toilet (which was suppose to be closed for renovation) was actually back in operation with it’s door was wide open.
It was such a relieving sight for me and I quickly stormed into that restroom instead. Hell, my bladder had a pressure built up in such a terminal stage, that I wasted no time and already unzipped my fly right before entering the restroom. It was a life threatening situation.
Alright, picture this in slow motion – me running inch by inch closer to the restroom entrance, with my hands slowly zipping down my barn door. By the time I was inside the restroom, I was about halfway of pulling down my underpants and was getting ready to whip out the big bird. Then suddenly… I came head on with a Malay girl, she was standing in front of the mirror – adjusting her loose T-shirt, bra or something. It was a split second observation and I didn’t register much detail. I quickly pulled an emergency brake to avoid hitting the girl head on. I skidded for about half a feet, almost slid down and fell back flat on my back.
Luckily, I managed to maintain my balance and didn’t struck the girl, else it would have been catastrophic. I took a quick U-turn abandoning the cursed restroom before the girl started to scream or something. (imagine yourself as the girl, seeing a guy storming into the toilet with his zipper down). While on my way out, I took notice of the door sign …. indeed, it had been changed into a ‘Ladies’ room. Apparently, that was what the renovation is about.
As I was running out from that toilet, I cussed out loudly while zipping my pants. Could you imagine what would have happened if there were to be more than 1 girl inside the restroom? I would have been mauled and ripped apart by those cannibals !
Damn. That used to be my favorite restroom and now it’s gone. What next? Taking over our meeting rooms and turn it to more ‘Ladies’ room? I wonder why the hell do girls need so many restrooms for. Not that they know how to keep clean. In fact, they’re filthier and gross than us guys. Ask the janitors for details.
So, what happened after that ? I had to race to the faraway toilet inside the office. I swear if the place were to be located any further, I would have wet my pants. No shit.