August 16, 2004

breaking the silence

The other day, I saw something very disturbing on Animal Planet. Oh, that’s a channel by the way… it isn’t a real planet governed by animals. It revealed that some scientists have figured out how a bunch of whales communicate with each other. And then, I also came across something on the newspaper that said, an orang utan (or was it a monkey? I forgot) actually bitched about his aching tooth… and called for a dentist.

Damn scary isn’t it? We always thought that the emotionless animals we see everyday, are inert about basically everything. We thought that they only know how to sleep, eat and respond to emergencies (like shitting). But little do we know that those animals can actually ‘talk’ in their own language.

From the documentary show, I also learned that there is actually a group of dedicated scientists that work their asses off deciphering whales’ fart noises underwater, to study how do they communicate with each other. I could tell that it isn’t an easy job because I remember my mom used to make that kind of noises when I was a kid… and I could hardly understand her. But then, it might be a good thing for mankind, because if we’re able to communicate with animals, it would be more fun to cuss at them – since they are able to understand us. “Hey cow! How does it feel to have only one a big tit with so many nipples? hahahah!!”. (it would sound so stupid to say that to a cow that do not understand what you’re talking about).

Just kidding.

Being able to communicate with animals is actually a blessing. It makes us understand more about the living things on this planet. We won’t have to guess what the hyenas are laughing about… or study why the chickens cross the road. All we need to do is ask.

Of course, there are also cons of being able to communicate with animals as well. By bestowing those critters an ability to communicate with humans, we practically risk the danger of giving up our dominance of this planet. By having the ability to communicate/read, animals will become more intelligent… they’ll learn about science, and our history… and soon, be able to use a computer. Once they have the access to computers, practically, they’re not much different from our bosses and politicians… that’s when we humans should be worried about our existence on this planet.

If you’re still unable to imagine the boner we would be in, imagine this — the girl behind the nick in your ICQ list might be a camel or a skunk. How’s that? Be very scared.

michaelooi  | what I saw  | 

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