August 11, 2004

what’s happening ?

I don’t know what had happened – I kept seeing weird stuffs for the past 24 hours.

Last night, after getting disconnected again from the internet for 3 million and 27th times, I decided to stop surfing and watch the TV instead. Sex and the City. Albeit I didn’t really like SarahJessicaFucker (because I think she looks like a she-male), but it was quite an entertaining show. I was enjoying the show for about 10 – 15 minutes through, until suddenly, something flew into my apartment (through the balcony).

It was about the size of a crow, and was dark in color. It flew through my living room into my dining room, and flew back, then repeated the whole route. Basically, it was flying in an ellipse manner… round and round. After it flew past me for the second time, I managed to catch a glimpse of what it really was. It was a bat. Bats are cool animals. I like them.

Emily, who was talking on her cellphone at that time, went aghast and gave out a shriek of horror. I, in turn, was astonished by the beauty of the animal and was kinda admiring the nocturnal creature taking it’s tour flight around my apartment.

“Oh my goddd… eeeekk eeeeekkk eeeeekk hweeeeek !!!”
“Be silent dear. You might scare the cute fella”

After it flew for about 3 rounds, it bailed out through the balcony… and disappeared into the night. That was the first time a bat ever flew into my apartment… and I don’t think it’s normal. Maybe it was here to promote the new upcoming Batman movie… or maybe, it’s trying to foretell me of something.

Fine, then this morning, while I was out having my breakfast with Emily (I’m not working today, by the way), I saw this really weird kid. A girl about 7 years old, and she was with her father. The father, was actually busy talking to another friend, while this kid was busy playing by herself. Well, I was not sure if what she was doing is rightfully deemed as ‘playing’ because it wasn’t any normal stuff that kids ‘play’.

At first, she was just walking around and shouting. Then, it was a Bruce Lee cat-purr (I don’t know why, I kept encounter kids that has a deep fetish for Bruce Lee’s yell) and after that, she started to talk to herself. I do understand that some kids actually have that kind of ‘imaginary friend’ shit, but trust me, this was no imaginary friend shit. I think she could see dead people (or maybe some kind of invisible alien). She was like chatting with the air, and even danced by herself. Frankly speaking, she was damn freakish and not to mention damn annoying. Even Emily felt that too… she even quoted “Damn, that kid is annoying. Let’s beat her up.” Alright, I made that up, Emily’s not really that violent. And the weird kid’s father, was like playing deaf and blind about her daughter’s odd behavior.

Bloody hell. I don’t understand how some people can ignore their own kid’s eccentricity. I am very sure that the kid’s weird. And I seriously think that the father should do something about it… like giving her a hard spank before interrogating her who’s the invisible friend… or get her to a nearby psychiatric ward for treatment.

Ok, I then headed my way to the bank, because I needed to withdraw a couple of millions to feed the poor. While I was looking for a place to park Lorraine, I suddenly saw 4 blokes running in a very ardent manner – across the street in front of my car, jumped over the divider and a couple of them then sprinted on the right side of the pedestrian walkway. I quipped to Emily :

“That’s an Olympic spirit.”
“I think they’re chasing some snatch thief.”

Emily’s got a point – as chasing snatch thief is one of Malaysian’s favorite past time recently. It provides a comprehensive workout, plus, you get to be hero at the same time. It’s fast becoming a general hobby.

ICQ dork #1 : “So, what do you do during your free time ?”
ICQ dork #2 : “I collect stamps and occasionally, chase snatch thieves..”
ICQ dork #1 : “Cool ! I chase snatch thieves too. What a coincidence !”

But then, as I drove past the bunch of very fast guys, I realized that it wasn’t anything near what we thought it was. Those bunch of guys were actually chasing a chicken! Imagine that, the entire street almost interrupted to a halt watching those 4 guys chasing 1… freaking … chicken. In the middle of an urban commercial district in Penang (it’s Beach Street… actually). What the fuck ! I didn’t know chickens could snatch handbags… Somebody tell me the world is still right !

Once inside the bank, I was waiting for my queue number with Emily. An old lady suddenly walked up to the teller and inquired for something. They exchanged a few words and just as I decided to look somewhere else, the old lady began to nod her head in a groovy way. You know, her head / body bobbing up and down rhythmically… like a soul dancer – as if she’s body signaling to the teller “Yeah bebeh .. yeah”. She did it successively 3 times. I thought I had mistaken that move until Emily gave me a nudge and asked “Did you see that?? The old lady danced…”. I couldn’t explain why she did that. A bank’s definitely not an appropriate place to do that… if it’s not obvious enough – what more to see an OLD LADY doing that…

Alright, one must have thought that I must had seen the day… but no. After banking, I went across the Penang Bridge to fix Lorraine’s rattling door up. I was overtaking a Toyota Vios when suddenly (noticed that this word has been used repeatedly for quite a number of times in this post…), the driver wound his window down. I can see from my side that it was a middle aged guy with a lush mustache (who resembled the Mexican knife throwing villain in Desperado). He then stuck out his right hand, and put it up high above the air. Then, he started to rub his fingers together with his thumb, as if he’s ridding off some sticky substances from his fingers.

I was clueless on what he was actually doing at that moment, until I managed to drive my car ahead of his and saw it all. OMFG. I actually saw him shove his finger(s) inside one of his nostrils, and rigorously raped his own nose… then, he would rid his sticky and slimy boogers off by lifting his hands out high from the car window. (the science behind = strong winds would speed up the evaporation of moisture from his semi solid boogers, and reduces it’s adhesive property which in turn, makes it easier for him to dispose his boogers from his fingers). I felt so goddamn lucky not to drive behind his car, else, it would be a punishment just to clean up Lorraine for good.

So, what’s with all the weird things I encountered? Were they some kind of signs that the world is coming to an end? Or were they supposed to be sort of supernatural messages conveyed by some supreme being from outer space? If those were indeed messages, what were they trying to tell me? “We are weird”?

Oh please, if somebody knew what is happening, please tell me. Stop the madness already. [entering dementia state]

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

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