multitasking
Sometime last week …
I was looking for my colleague Elbee, needed to get something done. There’s no answer from his desk phone, so I called him at his cellphone. It went on unanswered. But just before the call goes into the voice message, Elbee finally answered.
Elbee : “Errr…hello…”
Me : “Elbee ! Michael chi peng.”
(translation : “Elbee ! It’s Michael here”)
Elbee : “Errr … hamisu ?”
(translation : “Errr … what’s the matter ?”)
At that particular moment, I noticed that his voice sounded a bit different. It was as if he’s talking inside a metal box. It has this kind of weird echo / surround effect. I was curious about just where he was … and so, I took the intiative to find out
Me : “Elbee… lu tua toh lok ui ?”
(translation : “Elbee … where are you ?”)
Elbee : “Errr… wa tua ti…. errr … ha mi su boh ?”
(translation : “Errr… I’m now at …. err … what’s the matter actually ?”)
From the way he responded, I managed to hard-guess that he’s actually taking a dump inside a toilet booth.
Me : “Elbee … lu tua toilet si boh ? heheh …”
(translation : “Elbee … are you inside the toilet ? heheh …”)
Elbee : “Eh heh heh … ha mi su ?”
(translation : “Eh heh heh … what’s up ?”)
Me : “Hahah … an chua ? pang sai song boh ?”
(translation : “Hahah … so .. having a great time taking a dump ?”)
Elbee : “Heheh… hmmph..”
He was clearly paying attention on something else at that moment. Probably was working on a particular long piece of shit, trying to snip it off by contracting his anus hard.
Me : “Ok ler Elbee… ban ban pang. Pang liao, ka call wa … ok ?”
(translation : “Ok Elbee… take your time. Just call me when you finish… ok ?”)
Elbee : “Hmmmpphh … erhh… ok… ”
Kinda wondered, why is it so hard for some people to multitask while taking a dump ? I would usually bring along a book or my palm for some games while taking my dump. Sometimes, I would even call up my friends to chat too … coz dumping shit is a boring business.
My friend - Charles, he even brought along his portable disc player into the toilet, reading a copy of Gila-Gila at the same time (our local humour magazine, equivalent to Mad in US). It’s a good thing. Maybe Elbee’s too lame.
So kids, heed this message by brother Michael — When you take a dump, always bring along your revision book … or porn mag … or a Gameboy … or a foot massager. Just anything. According to some experts, it helps to train your brain how to multitask even in the most difficult situation - such as getting high defecating. (don’t ask me which expert).
Another community message by michaelooi.