the puke machine
My friend Animal has a new name now. Animal no more. He’s now known as the PukeMachine. Why is that ? Allow me to narrate.
Last night, the BODs (Board of Directors … my best buddies) decided to come out to have a drink. Ronnie was here for the weekend (from KL) and we’re kinda looking for an excuse to have some fun. Initially, it was suppose to be a clubbing event .. but then, when some of our girlfriends figured that they wanted to have a slower night, we finally settled down at one of those lame live band pubs to consume some alcohol.
It was all beers last night. Buckets after buckets of them. By the time we reaches the 4th bucket, Ronnie started his usual twaddling shits. He would talk about girls, about things that he himself doesn’t understand and challenge the everyone to drink with him.
Most of us knew Ronnie’s style. He’s only tough by the way he taunt, but he’s always the first to crash from intoxication. So, we kinda took him real easy. Well, except my friend Animal. He may be an accountant, but he’s a bit slow on the intellectual side. He’s full of emotion and likes to “over-do” everything.
Take for example, if our ring of buddies were to talk about changing engine oil, he would go nuts to talk about some kind of V8 engine that runs on somekind of exotic belt that requires certain type of refined engine oil. You know, to the stage where everyone basically would go quiet and had to change topic. You get the idea.
So, it was the same situation last night. We’re taunting each other with drinks. It looked as if we’re getting wild and wanted to destroy our liver - but actually, we weren’t. It was just our usual way of having fun. But it’s all serious with Animal. He REALLY thought we’re aiming to bust our livers last night. He went especially extreme when Ronnie frivolously ridiculed him for being too emotional for his girlfriend.
That was obviously a blatant mistake - for we know Animal is a hypersensitive guy. Once he’s into something, he would never stop. He downed beer after beer taunting back at Ronnie for drinks. Ronnie, being as his usual self, procrastinated in drinking and was fending him off with tonnes of bullshits. It went on like this for almost the whole night, without anyone realizing that Animal was getting real zonked for downing too much beer.
Then, came the moment of truth. Animal suddenly opened his mouth and some beige colored slop of viscous semi-digested food came out pouring onto the floor. It went like this –> BWWWUUUEEEEKKKK !!!! I can tell it was a mixture of home cooked dinner (rice and some hint of meat.. healthy diet) through my experience in handling alcohol victims. Alvin and Ricky, being closest to him, immediately bounced out from the nuclear waste leakage in a speed that’s hardly believable. Everyone sort of like flabbergasted witnessing Animal performing the barfing stunt.
His mouth was kept open for the whole few minutes and the broth of alcoholic mayhem continued to pour out from his mouth onto the floor. There’s so much of it that it could even drown a couple of crocodile having sex. (alright, that may be exaggerated … but you get the idea). He went on barfing, until there’s no more stuff to barf, and continued to barf out his stomach linings - of .. you know, those slimy stuff from your internal organs. Oh my god, it was so gross.
When his barfing stops, he remained still with his mouth open… apparently in a position waiting for something to come out (Ricky actually took a picture of that moment … I’ll see if I can get it posted up here). By that time, Alvin was clearly irked by entire incident and began to give some comment about him. One of the comment that would register in our mind for many years to come :
“Damn it… Animal’s like a puke machine.”
Now, you know why….Animal’s got a new name. The PukeMachine.
P/S: PukeMachine was then dragged home by the gang, unconscious.
Update: Here it is … the priceless moment … it will be a picture to be remembered for generations….
