August 6, 2004

“Kill Bill: Vol. 2″ (2004)

I just watched Kill Bill volume 2, and I’m about to reveal how the movie fared compared to the first one. And there will be a lot of spoilers ahead. So, please… stop right here if you feel like discovering the movie yourself….

Alright, the first spoiler that I’m gonna reveal is — Bill dies at the end. Surprise!

Ok, seriously, Kill Bill volume 1 was one of the best American action movie I’ve ever seen. Kill Bill volume 2? Sucked big time. Not only it didn’t have much of its signatory fake blood but, the second installment has somewhat turned into some kind of a soap opera. Watching “Frazier” would’ve been much more entertaining than this movie. Goddamn… I felt so cheated !

Sacrificing my Friday night, got my snacks ready and was in my comfortable attire – and all I fucking got was a drama queen settling her score by TALKING. Yeah, you heard me right, there were a lot of TALKING in this movie. No more action packed mass slicing… no more slopping of fake blood. Just a lot of talking. The Black Mumba plotted her revenge by having lots of discussion and cheesy style talk — sounds like a corporate manager to me.

Here’s the list of disappointments I manage to observe :

– there were 2 Hattori Hanzo swords featured in this movie (compared to only 1 in Kill Bill vol 1). And none of them killed anyone. A major turn off.

– Beatrix (Uma Thurman) survived a point blank shotgun blast. I’m pretty sure our Malaysian bank robbers wanted to know how the fuck did she manage to pull that stunt. Logic went wrong.

– Bill (the villain boss that is…) uncannily resembled my car salesman. You know, the one who sold me Lorraine. He looked like someone who can’t kill a cat for no shit. Let alone being the leader of a killer squad. Bad casting.

– Beatrix’s child survived. Apparently, Bill kept her daughter all these while. That means, Bill knew she wasn’t dead. If she wasn’t dead, Bill would’ve made sure she was… but apparently, that did not happen. Instead, Bill raised the child (whom he revealed at the end of the film – that he thought it belonged to the stupid guy she was about to marry)… and waited for her to plot her revenge. That’s very wise for a “murdering bastard”. Bad story planning.

– Gordon Liu appeared twice in Kill Bill. First appearance as the squad 88 leader (or something like that) … and second appearance as the old fart Pai Mei (who defied gravity). What the fuck? Were they out of cast or something? Or was it that Gordon Liu wanted to do some Eddie Murphy shits? Why don’t he act Bill as well? Again, bad casting.

– When the Budd guy poured some ice blended drink to Elle, he only poured like 1/4 full for each glass. But when the Elle bitch held up the glass to drink it, the content inside the glass magically became more than half full. It was a blatant mistake that could be spotted easily.

I can go on forever like this. The movie was a flop. Not even 10% as good as the first one. If you plan to watch this in the theater, don’t. Think about it, why they didn’t ban Kill Bill 2 like they banned the first one. That’s because it’s a fucking soap opera … that’s why. Ugh.

michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 

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