August 3, 2004

dirty food court

I was really hungry one night and barged into a nearby open air food court. That place used to be one of my favorite place – as it has this really big projector where my friends and I get to watch soccer matches on Saturdays while downing beers at the same time.

But it was all different when I went into the same place that night. The big projector screen in front had been replaced with a big stage. The ambience was way darker than before… and there were cheap tarts with repugnant make-ups loitering around that area. The place has turned into an open air karaoke whorehouse!

It seems to be a trend now in Penang – this karaoke whorehouse thing. It is a combination of karaoke, cheap hawker food and sex trade. Ingenuity of the local Chinese entrepreneurs – they’ve just invented a brand new breed of sex trade without really having to pimp for business.

How? You see, the food court management will actually renovate the food court place to look like a pub, while still maintaining the hawker stalls around. Then, they install a big stage in front of the area, hire a few housewives from some ghetto fish markets (because they’re dirt cheap) and make them sing in front of the patrons.

These housewives, are often overweight and fugly, with a poor taste of comma inducing voice. They can’t really sing but they do that for the sake of earning a few extra bucks (which earns better than cutting fish in wet markets). The trick is their skimpy dresses – fishnets, corsets, low cut blouses, miniskirts full of holes… you name it, they’ll wear it. Their target consumer? Middle aged or old codgers that are either :

1) too ugly/stupid to get laid
2) too much of a loser to have anything to do at home

Those old bunch of blokes would hang out places like that for hours, slamming overpriced beer into their oversized pot belly and cheering for those lopsided cunts. They practically get excited over anything on stage with skimpy dress so, there’s no issue of losing appetite here. Heck, if you were to put a rabid dog on that stage, no shit some of them would even volunteer to pork it.

In order to get those spastic sluts to come down from stage to sit on their table (an interface to strike some sex deal), these old guys will have to buy a small cup of ‘wine’ to ‘treat’ the ladies. It costs approximately 8 bucks (that’s USD 2) per small cup and is good enough to buy them some time to flirt with the singer. If they fail, buy again. It is a rip off needless to say, as those cups of ‘wine’ aren’t really wine. They are just cups of chrysanthemum tea mixed with water.

It is always an ugly sight at places like that – having to see the worst type of wrinkled Ah Bengs flirting around with the worst looking coarse voiced Ah Lians in the same place. And mind you, these people aren’t the educated type. They spit everywhere they go… and shout like ruffians when they get excited. They are the animal equivalent of diseased sewer rats and would not mind to have sex in dumpsters.

I almost barfed my brains out when I saw what had became of that place, but I had no choice but to dine there as I was damn hungry. I ate a bowl of Tom Yam noodles… but it tasted like a bowl of pig shit… I’ve never felt so fucking dirty for just eating a bowl of noodles. So ‘trespassed’. So decadent. So fucked-up-like-drliew’syoyo… I couldn’t forgive myself for dining at an abysmal place like that. Damn… I failed my Pendidikan Moral.

michaelooi  | what I saw  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.