The night’s been boring and i got a random message blinking in my ICQ menu. *this is kinda long. be prepared to get eye fatigue.*

o : hai ice here

me : ooooh … very cold here …

o : how r u?

me : cold

o : so u r engineer?

me : a very cold engineer … brrrrrrr

o : ic so u at home now? engineer in construction line or electrical?

me : engineer in electronics …fsssshhh…. i think i got a frostbite … my finger stucked to the yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy keyyyyyyyyyy too cold

o : boring here

me : cold here … ughhh

o : hot here

me : wanna cyber ?

o : i eat laksa just now that why hot

me : alright … i put my fingers in your laksa …took it back up and lick … omg … this is so freaking explicit … your turn

o : slap ur face becoz its dirty

me : oooh… that’s painful …

o : haha…..u r funny

me : ok … i took out some crocodile clips …clips on your you-know-what … hooks it up to a 2000 watt transformer. .. and turns it on …. i just fried your titties … i begin to like SM

[5 minutes went by]

me : slap slap … u still alive ?

o : still here

me : ok … thought fainted from the over-current ….

o : so no mind give me ur handphone num???

me : awww … can’t you just concentrate on our cyber ? asking for phone number in the middle of the business ?cmon …

o : haha u r afraid??

me : look … i just electrocuted your tits … and what makes you think i’m afraid … ?

o : well just kidding look if u dont want to give its ok

me : i’ll give you my number when we’re done … ok ? where are we now ? oh … ok … the electric fun … so, i unclip the crococodile clip and took out a chainsaw ….

o : what actually u want to do????

me : oh … what i’m going to do ? zwwengggg….zwengggggg… i just cut off your tops with my chainsaw … boy … you looked so sexy …

o : yakkkkk so geli

me : **laughs hysterically like a hyena high on drugs** oooh … i feel so …. agitated now … huarrgh

[5 minutes went by]

me : knock knock

o : wat???

me : why you locked the freaking door ? this is so potong steam

o : u dont want to give me ur hp num so i want to go liao lar. so late liao lor dangerous back alone

me : why you insist of wanting my phone number ? are you somekind of lonely chick who’s looking for some random & wild passionate sex ? if yes… pls … i’m not that kind of person …

o : hei u also find a wrong person lar u……… just want to find a person talk to him when lonely not for sex ..watch out men

me : oh … ok … but then, i thought u’re the one who looked for me … i normally eat everything on sight…

o : aiyeee u find chicken everywhere???? my ghot!!!

me : and what has this got to do with chicken ? omg …u’re about to make me barf

o : funny…..aiya no need to angry cold down

me : i’m already cold … remember ? brrrr

o : hehe

me : cunt nina

o : well want to go liao lor take care ar dont eat to much chicken no good for ur health ok ..and next time sing muk bit girl sensitive mar

me : can’t you just go without much words ?

o : what u want to hear????

me : just go lah …

o : ok u r the first funny guy i ever seen ..wish u happy always

me : ok …. that’s better … sweet and wet dreams

o : sweet ok dont want wet dream bye

Hmm… i have a feeling that cybersex doesn’t really exists … coz they never worked. For me.

This incident happened in the US on one fine lunch hour.

Keith & I were walking out from a traditional wooden shack cafe …when he said out to me

Keith : “There’s a guy at the corner has been staring at you for some time. He doesn’t seem to like your presence there.”

Me : “Well…. fuck him.”

Keith, taken by surprise by my savage behavior, wasn’t really expecting the kind of response from a meager sized asian like me. And that opened the window of conservativeness for the 2 man from different culture. We spoke a lot about racism shits after that day.

Keith told me that although most Americans are now matured enough to accept people of different skin colors, there are still some of them that are still in the dark about the matter. Those are usually old war veteran faggots or douche-bags, that still couldn’t get over the way they perceive the world. Some young ones too (hillbillies, rednecks, skinheads, or whatever you want call them)… those who didn’t manage to get enough education to complete their thinking. That aside, the question is still, why those fragments of American fuckers hate us Asian so much ? What makes them think that they’re more superior than our type ?

Well, the answer is the war (after a long informal discussion with Keith). The last few American wars were fought with people of our colors. The Japanese and the Vietnamese. To the Americans, we all looked the same - of asian distinct. U know … yellow skin, sharp eyes, big dick (eyeah.. baby). During that time, they developed a type of thinking that people with such skin colors are the enemies of their nation … and this somehow became an inherent feelings of hatred towards asian, even years after the wars ended.

Things began to change when Bruce Lee suddenly came into the American silver screen…. flashing his scarred titties kicking Chuck Norris’ hairy ass. And they loved him so much. Since then, they kinda learned our culture in the process - the Chinese - that we can kick ass with our martial arts … and aren’t afraid to get naked in the public as well. (also we have cheaper DVDs here … *wink wink)

They “rediscovered” the world by accident through films … and realized that there are so many different types of asians in … well … asia. Soon, the newer generations of Americans got over the war thing, and began to accept Asians (and monosodium glutamate) as part of their culture. See the Americans today. Kungpao chickens invading almost every American homes. Tallest dude in their NBA. Heck, they even have an asian in one of their angels. And all their stuffs were made in China (trust me … I did a lot of shopping research when I was in the States).

Say some of them still hate us asians ? Well, fuck them. Can’t please everyone in this world …

Arrived home on Monday and crashed, without regaining consciousness until this morning. Well, of course I did occasionally wake up to eat some food, piss and all that but, unofficially, I was declared dead until this morning.

No, not because of the jet lag. It’s because I was too fucking tired. From the time my plane took off from Texas soil until I touch down at Penang - the journey took 31 perilous hours. The food was bad, the flight attendants were hideous (on the american airways flight only though) and deprived of proper sex. Kidding.

Without proper sleep and stucked onto a static couch, it was a torture bad enough for me. Has always been a fun and outgoing person … being in a state like this means no difference than a crippled vegetable dude. Bad airplane food also causes my stomach at it’s constant growl and full of toxic gases. I do not know why but, when one’s in an airplane, we tend to refrain from visiting the toilet too often — and I suspected that’s what has been causing my stomach to get so upset.

Not wanting to hurt anyone from inhaling an excessive amount of toxic gases, I would occasionally pay a visit to the cramped toilet to practice some free flatulence (expert says that this is some sort of equivalent of meditation…don’t ask me which expert). Heck, my gases were so thick everytime I farted … that I was so darn scared that it might set off the smoke detector alarm. Goddamn. Once I did that everytime, I’ve got to bail the place as fast as I could to avoid liability of causing damage to airplane facilities.

Not to mention those stupid security procedures at American airports. I do not understand why they only want to cause so much trouble to visitors from Muslim countries. Procedure this .. and procedure that. Don’t they fucking know already… that terrorist nowadays comes from virtually EVERYWHERE ? If they wanted to impose security measures, they should have done it on ALL types of visitors. And that’s what i call secure. I do not know which moron from the States actually came up with all those ridiculous rules.

Same goes to UK airport too. Only 1 haughty and arrogant Sikh guy screening hundreds (possibly thousands) of visitors - creating a backlog long enough than a really bad traffic jam. And that guy actually does it with an attitude too. Checking passports and asking dumb questions. Hello … you’re just security nobody with a freaking low pay - not an FBI agent. What’s with the attitude ? Somebody tell me … and the few hundreds of visitors that lambasted that Sikh motherfucker, that we’re actually wrong about them.

Alright, glad to know that was all over. I’m finally back to my own civilization. Cussing the same old species of asian pigdogs … and complaining about the same things I encounter everyday. It’s my home and nowhere else can be better than here.

Ain’t gonna update day 12. The day mainly consists of shopping and clubbing at 6th Street. Will be leaving for Penang on day 13. Gonna stop at Chicago before transit at London. Will update if manage to find an internet kiosk.

It’s a long journey home. And I can’t wait to do that.

toys for the big boys.

this customized bike comes with a V8 engine. goddamn.

arrival of some bikers. looking for a place to park.

some bikes that i dig.

one of my favourites.

one of my favourites.

this isn’t a bike. this is a car. a very nice looking old car.