something behind the door

There’s a room next to my lab was locked all the time from both side. It was just a bunch of pipings and air con doohickeys inside that room … that wasn’t of any importance to me. No, nobody supposed to use the door so, fuck it.

Today, we (me and the other engineers) heard some noise coming from inside. It started with a few clickings. Kinda build up a little bit tension at first, as it was usually quiet inside. We kinda put a lot of attention on what’s the fucking noise all about … and got ourselves prepared to flee the lab ..in case there’s any shrilling female voice cackling or calling our names .

Then suddenly … we heard “Kanneh ma cheee byeeee eh !!!”. Hahah … goddamn. Not a ghost. It was a bunch of ah bengs carrying out renovation work inside. Never get to see their face but then, I was pretty sure, they are a bunch of ah bengs. Why ? Here’s why…

1) Of every sentence they uttered, they will always include the word “mother”. Eg. Leh mar ler …. kau giak kheong kan…
2) They always talk while working. And it’s always the story about some adventure with ah lian inside a local swing-head disco.
3) Every 30 minutes or so, there will always be a quarrel. Once quarrel, the mother of all heaven profanities will reverberate across our lab.
4) Once a while, they will drum a lion dance tune while working.
5) There will always someone singing while working. Eg. Bobby McVee’s More Than I Can Say … how cheesy is that…

Alright, basically, our lab was littered with noise pollution today. I thought I was bad, but those bunch of ah bengs lives and feeds on profanities. Like I said, of every sentence that came out from their mouth, it will contain at least 30% of profanity. Makes me feel uncomfortable.

There’s one session where they even argued (in hokkien) about their underwear brand.

Beng #1 : “Lim peh eh teh kho si behsache eh aa …”
(translation : My underwear is of versace brand..)

Beng #2 : “Lu kheong kan lah ! … behsache mana ooh teh kho eh ?”
(translation : Get yourself fucked ! there’s no Versace brand underwear…)

Beng #1 : “Leh mar ler ! Ha mi lang kong ??”
(translation : Your mother ! Says who ??)

Beng #2 : “Lu mien hau seow lar … sio kong lim peh beh hiau si boh ?”
(translation : Don’t bluff … you think I don’t know ?)

Beng #1 : “Lancheow ! behsache an chua eh boh teh kho ??”
(translation : Dick ! Who says there’s no Versace branded underwear ??)

The argument went on for like 10 minutes or so. With them hooting each other in the most ludicrous obscene language one can ever imagine. Almost made me barf my spleen out.

Damn, these people ought to live in the same neighborhood with the real Osama Bin Laden. To make their noise in the cave networks of the freezing Afghanistan mountains. I am fucking sure that it wouldn’t take long for Osama to commit suicide for having too much brain damage out of their lion dance drumming and their kanineh language. And then there shall be world peace for eternity