July 15, 2004

let out session

*Update: since there are a lot of cavemen out there who are not very good at comprehending simple English and like to read my blog at the same time, for the passion of my own writing, I have decided to bold out certain phrase to aid them. Thank me and be thankful.

I was driving home from dinner last night (with Emily) and was caught in a traffic jam. It was this Bayan Baru area, where the roads are narrow and full of impatient factory workers. I was listening to a CD when suddenly, a small motorcycle (kapcai) appeared on my left. It was a young Malay guy motherfucker. He was trying to squirm through the narrow space between my car and an old 70’s Prelude next to mine. The guy hit my side mirror, and had it folded backwards.

Before I could even wind down my window to yell at him, he was already gone. Speeding so fast in between the gaps of the congestion as if his gay lover was about to give birth to a big piece of tumor. Fine. I just cussed as usual and got over it. I went back to listen to my CD.

After about 5 seconds, another horrifying sight unfolded before my eyes through my rear view mirror. I saw a swarm of kapcais filling up the space between cars behind mine, just like the scene of the beetles filling up the dungeon floor in “The Mummy Returns”. I went like “Oh shit” before Emily, and moved my car a little bit nearer to the curb to ensure that they could not squeeze through the gap again.

Everything went fine as the drones of stupid kapcais were forced through the small space behind the Prelude, until an old Indian bloke came and stopped behind the left side of my car. He was contemplating whether he could make it through the small gap. Pundamanek! As he was about to squeeze through the gap, the idiot suddenly lost his balance and tipped over, and his bike’s right handle planted into my car, with a loud THUNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK heard inside my cabin.

I went nuts. Realizing that he was in grave danger, that low-life son of a bitch fled through behind the Prelude. By the time I was about to get down from my car with a big steering lock in my hand (to kill him), he was already gone, just like the previous Malay motherfucker. All I could do was to honk all the way down until he disappeared out of sight. Missed his number plate as well (as it was blocked by the tonnes of cars around the area). Nothing could describe my pain at that particular moment. Especially when I didn’t get to at least settle off with the offender. Felt as if I’ve been raped… Oh fuck.

I scoured the entire area to look for the guy after that, but to no success. My car had a small dent at that spot, and it was a devastating sight for me. FUCK.

You know, I have always disliked kapcais all my life – I think they are a nuisance to the traffic. They are too small, light and fucking dangerous. Not to mention cheap (which are affordable by social garbages and vagabonds alike). Now that this happened, I hate them even more now.

I swear to myself, if I ever get a chance to lay my hands to kill someone on a kapcai performing stunts on the road, I will definitely do it. Twice. Goddamn motherfuckers you kapcai riders. I hope you’ll get cancer all over your dick and never get to enjoy sex in your short pathetic life… for 10 generations. Including your dog.

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