Archive for June, 2004

June 22, 2004

Austin – arrival

Alright, I’m now a bit sobered after crashing and passing out for 2 consecutive days. I guess my fatigue can be called a jet lag – although I claimed that I’m not suffering from it.

That day, when I arrived at Dallas airport, I only had like 1 hour and 20 minutes to transit from an international arrival to a domestic flight. During this period, I had to go through the immigration, to pick up my bags, to go through a series of mind boggling procedures and to check in my bags again. And all that location was segregated from each other on different buildings… you know, old American airports. They’re always big and confusing.

When I was at the immigration, I was brought into a room. No I don’t think I look like a terrorist but, somehow, I was ‘required’ to take an oath and register a series of information about myself – like where do I live, what’s my father’s name… have I ever killed someone… things like that. I was kind of surprised myself as the few Japanese guys before me that looked like mutated insects didn’t have to go through all that. So, I think this must be the capital M thing about our country. (hint: a religion)

So, by the time I completed all the procedures with a computer illiterate immigration officer (which I had to teach him some shortcut keys to cut down the time), I was left with only like 10 minutes to rush for the flight… and the journey to the next terminal alone took me 5 minutes with a bus, had to checkout and check in my bags at the same time and perform a few hundred meters worth of running. Did I make it? Hell no. It was impossible. The big queue at the security check point alone, where everyone was required to take out their notebooks… remove the shoes… etc would have taken more than 10 minutes.

But I got myself onto another flight alright – which was located on the other side of the airport. And I had to travel all the way back to where it began. This time, luckily, I was not required to go through any more security checks. No they don’t perform strip search on anybody. That’s a myth. I think.

Arrived at Austin at about 1pm. Had to locate for my bags as I had them checked in through the earlier flight that I missed. After spending like 20 minutes doing that, I finally located my bags and proceeded to the rent-a-car counter.

Got myself a Camry, with a GPS navigation device called Never Get Lost (or something like that). To operate the thing, all that was required to do is key in any location, and that sucker will direct me to the destination… which at my first impression, was pretty cool. But I was so wrong. That hotel that I made a reservation with? Actually has 3 branches in Austin. The Never Get Lost doohickey got me to the 2 other locations except the correct one. It wasn’t really that 100% effective. I eventually had to get a map from a blond chick at the wrong hotel and managed to get myself to the correct hotel on my own

Upon arrival at the hotel, I tested out the free broadband out and crashed not long after that, slept until the next morning.

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michaelooi  | places  | Comments Off
June 20, 2004


Blogging from Tokyo airport. Am transiting here for a connecting flight to Dallas, USA for a business trip. The flight will be in 4 hours’ time so, have plenty of time to kill.

You guys would not believe who I met in my flight from Penang to KL. It was that faggoty Taiwanese singer/actor RICHIE REN! (If you don’t know him, nevermind)

Yeah man, he was sitting just right opposite the aisle from me. Goddamn. (I was star struck)

And there was this middle aged bloke kept asking him questions about his concert and shit. Probably wanted to cum all over him I reckon. Emily asked me why I did not get his autograph or something. Well, the reason being was, I don’t really fancy him… and besides, I don’t fucking speak mandarin. Even if I have the intention to approach, I would probably choose to say some nasty stuff like, how I can fucking sing better than him.

But I didn’t do that of course. I have no intention of doing that. He’s quite a nice chap actually… and he’s better looking than I am – So, I forgave him.

Still quite disoriented from the irregular sleep schedule on the plane – or maybe it was the shots I did at the lounge…

Will write more about my trip at my next stop.

michaelooi  | ramblings  | Comments Off
June 18, 2004


When I was in my schooling years, my friends and I always gave funny names to all sorts of abbreviations. The recent ‘meow-meow’ post actually reminded me some of the unforgettable names that we’ve given during my schooling days. Here are some of them :

MPPP – “Majlis Perbandaran Pulau Pinang“, we changed it to become “Monyet Panjat Pokok Pisang

AMN – “Ahli Mangku Negara“. My father said it should be “Anjing Makan Nasi

PJK – “Pingat Jasa Kebaktian“. The goofy version was “Perempuan Jangan Kacau

MBS – “Methodist Boys School“. Pranky version was “Mamak Bukak Sarong

PFS – “Penang Free School“. We renamed it to “Penis For Sale“.

and a lot more. Forgot most of them. Used to be able to remember them all … signs of old age. Remind me of any.

michaelooi  | nonsense  | Comments Off
June 17, 2004

one fine saturday morning

My relationship with Emily has always been a fun-going one. We always call each other names… and always play pranks to each other. It has always been like this ever since I met her 9 years ago.

There was one particular mischief that I always liked to do around her – was that whenever I am outside her apartment (back to the days when we weren’t living together), I would hide myself and then call out like a cat in a falsetto voice instead of knocking. Whenever Emily hears that, she would then hop out happily to greet me with a hug and we’ll have passionate sex right at the entrance… Alright, I made that having sex part out. But you get the idea.

Of course, I had to make sure that she is alone before I fucking do that. To be caught in an act like this would be catastrophically embarrassing. It is a very private kind of thing that you do not want people to know. Never been caught doing that… except that one fine Saturday morning.

On that fine Saturday morning, as usual, I had an appointment with Emily… and I was suppose to go up to her apartment to meet her. I called her on the previous night, and learned from her that there would be no one around her apartment that morning. So, my plan was set – I’m gonna purr at her as usual… and we’ll hug and do cool stuff that lovers do. Like squeezing zits and removing gray hairs… (hey, what the fuck were you guys thinking?)

Once I was there, I tip-toed myself around the corridor towards her apartment, like a very stealthy ninja. My objective was not to assassinate anyone or anything, but to ensure my presence go unnoticed… and I’m gonna go ‘meow-meow’ at Emily. I took a peek from the corner of her unclosed main door from outside — learned that she was not in the living room. I could see that her room door was half open, and I was sure she would hear my feline call. I then opened up my mouth, and purred like a fool, the most affectionate call of the cat ever — meow-meow — in my most impersonation of a delicate voice ever (that I reckon could make a gay cat cry)

A short pause, then I took another peek to see if Emily heard my call. She was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear some friction against the floor of someone moving… but obviously not a sound of someone walking. WTF – I thought. She probably didn’t hear me, and so, I gave another call. Meow-meow… and hid myself again.

I heard some movement after that, and took another peek. But before I could see anything, I was blinded by a sudden flash of an object. Something that appeared right in front of me (at the entrance) when I was peeking out. It was Emily’s sister – checking out some weird noises that she apparently heard. There were approximately 3 – 4 seconds of stunned silence when we looked at each other in the eyes. I was frozen and she was dumbfucked. She was looking at me with an expression words cannot describe… the kind that tells me she’s ready to blast her spit and phlegm laughing out.

It was such a fucking embarrassment. If I were to be a real ninja, I bet I would have performed seppuku on myself right on the spot. I was uttering some profanities under my breath for that, but didn’t say a word. I was too fucking scared to even talk… and pointed inside – gesturing that I was looking for Emily… not her. And then, she gave out a smirk and called out loud for Emily … that “Michael is looking for you!”

The episode ends here… for everything went black and white from thereon. I told Emily the whole thing… and she laughed shitless like a hyena with a brain damage. For sure, if I have a mobile phone back then, this probably wouldn’t have happened. Goddamn.

*apparently, Emily’s sister filed for an emergency sick leave that day… and that was why she’s there…

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | Comments Off
June 16, 2004


Last night, inside my car.

Emily : “Dear, promise me one thing. Drive carefully in Austin.” [I’ll be flying there for a business trip this weekend]

Me : “I’m always careful. Don’t worry, baby.”

Emily : “Refrain yourself from picking your nose or teeth. It will affect your concentration.”

Me : “Did you just say ‘don’t pick my nose or teeth’?”

Emily : “Yes. Don’t do that when you’re driving..”

Me : “Oh pleaseee… I’ve never done that sort of things before! What makes you say that?”

Emily : “Yes you did.”

Me : “No I didn’t. At least not when I’m driving! You’re sick!”

Emily : “Whatever”

Me : [picks my nose and flicks some micro-boogers at Emily] “You asked for it.”

Emily : “Eeeeek!!!” [responds with a smacking reflex at the same time]

Girls… they always misunderstand us guys.

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