day - six

Alright, if it’s still not that obvious enough, I actually went to Johnson Space Center at Houston on day 6. That’s right, drove 4 fucking hours just to get a feel on how the congested traffic of Houston’s like … and then to visit the ever screwed up Space center.

Johnson Space Center is the place where those Americans launched all those rockets up to space - in case you wondered what the hell is the place all about. American space disaster films always portrayed a hero astronaut chanting the magic words “Houston, we have a problem.” - each time they faced a life threatening situation. That’s the place they’re talking about.

So, was the place fun ? Hell no. It’s a big disappointment for me. Well… and my friends too. Even slouches like cheecheongfun felt that the place sucks big time. Here are the reasons why :

1) the building looked chintzy from outside. It looked like some kind of factory outlet in some part of china that sells fake pearls to rip off tourists. Admission fee is USD 22.50 — which is fucking expensive. I could have used the money to visit some stripper’s club (admission only 5 bucks and plus another 5 for a beer)… and yet, have enough money to call for a good lap dance from a busty blonde.

2) my expectation was to see some space related items. Maybe a couple of moonrocks or perhaps some sort of weird minerals they found on foreign piece of rock. But no. The first thing we saw was a commercialized lobby with kids screaming and running all over the place. No it doesn’t look like a space center at all. It’s a cheesy theme park.

3) Theme park it was - that kinda made us readjust our expectations. Hoping that it’s a GOOD theme park. Roller coaster ride on a space shuttle shaped cart or something. But again, hell no. What do they have then ? Some stupid guy boasting stories about their space program and budget with a cheap 3D animated scenes on the background (it’s animated using Corel’s Poser program … which, I myself could model WAY BETTER than their 3D artist)… and some model interior of the shuttle cockpit. Then they have this stupid mini theater with a malfunctioned audio. Houston … we have a big fucking problem.

4) Alright. That’s pretty much about the so called “theme park”. There’s a tram ride to the actual Space center research facilities. Cool - we thought. We finally get to see some real spacecraft or maybe some cool exhibits concerning the space program. First, we had to endure the long queue of crowd waiting to board the tram - waited for approximately 1.5 hours before we boarded the fucking tram. What took them so long ? Well, it appears that the entire space center tram schedule was operated by a bunch of prepubescents - aged 12 to 15 (summer job or something). Hell, they’re so screwed up, that it took them 20 minutes just to get the passengers into the tram, coz they could not figure out if some of the passengers suppose to sit here and there. Tonnes of bullshit. It’s kinda ironic to know that a supposedly high tech space center (in the world) was actually operated by a bunch of imbecile kids …. how thought provoking.
And then, when we finally got on the tram, guess what the tram brought us to ? To tour the carpark of a few old and dilapidated buildings. “That’s building one fifty nine … it fucking does this .. and that”. And that’s basically about it. No exhibits. Well, there’re a few model space shuttle inside a fake hangar for us to photograph on (see previous entry). But those are pretty much plastics and rubber stuffs. They’re not real. What a disappointment.

So, that’s how I spent my day in Houston. We drove (i drove) straight home right after the space center visit. The place is crap. If you happened to get a chance to visit the space center in Houston ? Don’t go. It’s not worth it.