June 29, 2004

Austin – day six (photo essay)

Went to Houston on Day 6 with a bunch of my Malaysian colleagues and Cheecheongfun. It was located almost 200 miles south east of Austin, and was about 4 hours’ drive. Here are some of the photos for you guys to dig.

Rented a car in Houston. I always preferred a black car, but they ran out of black car that day, so I had no choice but to rent a white one. I tried to bitch but, the car rental codger told me to take it or leave it.

The car rental guy asked if I wanted to upgrade the rental car to turbo – which boasts an extra 20,000 horsepower – for an extra payment of 200 bucks per day. I was like “what!?”. “What” for – what a rip off! I declined the offer.

He then took a second desperate attempt to ask me if I wanted my car to be upgraded to a convertible version for just 50 bucks per day. Well, this time, I just gave him a cold reply – “only if… the car’s black” and walked off.

The white car wasn’t good enough for me. The controls were flimsy and way too complex for me to operate. I had a lot of trouble to even turn on the fucking a/c.

We got ourselves a nice inn with a big parking lot. And boy… the tour buses in Houston are unbelievably huge. I reckon that was probably because a lot of Texans have weight problems.

This was the reception at the one-of-a-kind inn that we lodged. The guy was a friendly lad. Had a strong Texan accent and always make a yo momma joke. “Yo momma’s so ugly that she’s gonna kill all the fishes when she jumps into the ocean”. That wasn’t really funny but, I pretended to laugh anyway.

The inn even had a big indoor playground for fat Texan kids. It’s kinda awesome

The room came with a big closet, which was kinda neat.

Came with a big fridge too. This one, you can stuff approximately 200 mother-in-laws inside and still left you enough space to store 1 year worth of pork chops.

There was this nice little window that overlooks the inn’s park. I sure would have hoped to catch some view of naked chicks getting some tan down there. But there wasn’t any beach near the inn.

Taking a dump was never more comfortable than this. The rim of the toilet seat came padded with a layer of cushion for extra comfort and protection from bacterias that cause zits on your butt cheeks.

The place is safe too. Guests don’t have to worry about electrical short circuits that might pose a fire hazard – that is because they have a really big circuit breaker just outside the room.

I then took a walk around the park and saw the lawnmower guy. I tried to greet but, he was way too busy mowing the lawn with his lawnmower machine.

Saw some exotic Houston aborigine lizard during my walk. According to the locals, this lizard is known to have a weird preference of humping tree trunks at night.

Well, that’s about it. My trip to Houston.

michaelooi  | imaginations, places  | 

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