general table manners

Let brother michael share with you on things that you should comply when you’re eating. This is from his experience in living off as a noble young man …
If you’re from China and thinks that it’s a cultural thing to have no table manners at all ? Well… GO FUCK YOURSELF.

- shut your mouth when you eat. It will conceal any noise from your munching actions, coz nobody wants to hear how you eat. Only pigs and dogs eat with plenty of noise. Coz they’re not supposed to be civilized .. and they don’t care. Civilized men eat with their mouth closed shut.

- when you eat, don’t shake your legs. It’s annoying. It makes your dining partner felt that he/she must be dining with life sized vibrator. It’s no good. Nobody wants to eat with a vibrator. Only sluts does that.

- don’t talk when you have food in your mouth. Coz it would send micro-projectiles of mushed food either onto the table or the dish that your partner might want to eat. It’s unhygienic. Nobody wants to eat your spit or see the crunched food inside your mouth. Please.

- don’t burp when you’re eating. Do that in the toilet, inside the coffin 6 feet underground, or somewhere in the middle of the desert. Burp equals fart coming from your mouth. And yes they fucking stinks. Nobody likes that.

That’s as general as it can be. There might be a thousands more that may be too specific to some people but, the main ones above should cut the mustard.