Let brother Michael share with you here, on certain things that you should follow when you’re eating with someone. This is from his experience of living off as a noble young man in a civilized society…
(If you’re from China and think that it is culturally acceptable to have no table manners at all when you eat, you should GO FUCK YOURSELF instead of reading this.)
- shut your mouth when you eat. It will conceal any noise from your munching actions. Nobody wants to hear how you eat. Only pigs and dogs eat with loudly like that. That is acceptable to them because they’re animals… and they don’t care. Civilized men eat with their mouth closed shut.
- when you eat, don’t shake your legs. It’s annoying. It makes your dining partner feel like eating with a giant vibrator. It’s not going to impress anyone because nobody wants to eat with a vibrator. Maybe sluts… but, not everyone’s a slut.
- don’t talk when you have food in your mouth. Because it would send micro-projectiles of mushed food either onto the table or the dish that others might want to eat. It is very unhygienic for that to happen. Nobody wants to eat your spit or see the crunched food inside your mouth. Please.
- don’t burp/belch when you’re eating. Do that in the toilet, inside the coffin 6 feet underground, or somewhere in the middle of the desert. Anywhere when you’re alone. Burp equals fart coming from your mouth. And yes they fucking stinks. Nobody likes that.
That’s as simple as it could have been. There might be a thousand more that may be too specific to some people but, these are the main ones that should cut the mustard.