I wasn’t all alone for this assignment in Texas. I was actually joined by another engineer from China – let’s call him – cheecheongfun.
The first time I met cheecheongfun, he kind of gave me a good impression about him. No he does not look like a filthy mainlander who snorts out phlegm from his nostrils every single minute at all. He’s surprisingly clean… polite and well groomed. He gave me an impression that he’s not actually from China at all… more like some university student that went there for a holiday.
That all went well, until the first day I went to work with him (which was on Monday 21st Austin time). I was told by the management to share my car with him… so, I kinda had to fetch him to work everyday. Well… I’m ok with that, it was fun to drive there anyway.
So, on Monday morning, I hopped into the rented car and cranked the engine. Cheecheongfun hopped in too… but instead of the front passenger seat, that guy hopped into the back seat (there were only 2 of us). I was like… “goddamn, wtf??”. Well, maybe it’s the culture thing – I thought… and so, I politely asked cheecheongfun to haul his ass to the front seat – and I remarked to him that I am not his driver, and it would be rude for him to ride at the backseat. He complied of course and apologized. (I told him all that in broken Mandarin as I discovered he couldn’t speak proper English…)
And then, when I started to screech down the highway (everyone’s speeding there…), I noticed that the seat belt warning light was blinking. Cheecheongfun did not wear his seat belt. Again, I politely requested him – better wear his seat belt if he wanted to live in case of any accidents. And that was the time when his eccentricity started to become more apparent – he got himself entangled with the fucking seat belt !
I was stupefied by the entire incident. It appeared that he didn’t know what’s a seat belt for… and didn’t know how to wear them… all the while still entangled to it. I refused to believe that initially. I even told him to stop fucking around… but I eventually learned that he was for real when I saw his upset face struggling with the seat belt.
Like a caring father, I had to teach him step by step how to wear a seat belt. Heck, I even explained to him that a seat belt is fucking important for his safety… it could save his life… and also that the airbag won’t do him good if the seat belt is not worn… shits like that. I was like teaching a newborn kid the concept of safety inside an automobile.
That was the time when I started to feel really bad about him. My mind was telling me that he’s fucking stupid – but I was struggling with my conscience to convince myself that he was just rustic. But as the day progressed, I started to discover more bad things about him. Things that convinced me that he was worse than a retard. Here is the list of the discoveries… summarized in point form (I don’t really want to go into the details..).
- his breath fucking stinks. And boy he loves to talk. Always in Mandarin and always about redundant stuffs. It was already very frustrating of not being able to understand most of the things he say… and yet, I had to contend his pungent breath of decomposing corpse.
- he eats like a pig. No, I was not referring to his appetite. I was referring to the acoustic level of him eating. When he eats, he could emit noises that could be heard from a few city blocks. Damn embarrassing.
- when the American techs explain something, he would nod in acknowledgment without really paying any attention. Later, he would ask me tonnes of questions (again, in Mandarin) about the things that had been explained. And I had to explain all over again to him… in Mandarin.
- when I was working and analyzing some stuff, he would stick his head in front of my field of view – to look at what he wanted to look… entirely blocking me from continuing my work. I felt like jamming his head into the pile of computer junks I was working on… but my instincts told me that it’s not going to do good for my career.
Somebody tell me that this guy is normal – and that I’m actually all wrong about him. Arghh…